Series Thread: ALDS: Boston Red Sox vs New York Yankees

[Pure Steel]

You fuck her?

Dress her like an altar boy......

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

Dress her like an altar boy......

Not bad.

How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

 

[nynasty]

To the surprise of no one, Happ officially named game 1 starter.

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

Bauer, who was arguably the Indian's best starter in 2018, will be in the bullpen for the ALDS.

I like that.

 

[Pure Steel]

Not bad.

How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

I believe you have to suck it's cock......

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

I believe you have to suck it's cock......

Ding, ding, ding.

However, I have to tell you, a guy I know recently told me that joke, and although I've known it for years, I didn't say anything and let him tell it, because he's a great story teller. He didn't disappoint.

I asked, "how?" And he went on to give brief, but descriptive instructions...

"you see, first, you bend over him <he's bending over as he's talking> and you cross your arms like this, and grab one of his legs in each hand like so. Then you slowly lift them up and start to uncross your arms, flipping the dog over. Then you suck it's dick."

Try that in the future. It's the best way to tell that joke.

 

[nynasty]

Bauer, who was arguably the Indian's best starter in 2018, will be in the bullpen for the ALDS.

I like that.

.620 OPS against as a reliever. I'd like that too. He's pretty filthy when he's right.

 

[Pure Steel]

Ding, ding, ding.

However, I have to tell you, a guy I know recently told me that joke, and although I've known it for years, I didn't say anything and let him tell it, because he's a great story teller. He didn't disappoint.

I asked, "how?" And he went on to give brief, but descriptive instructions...

"you see, first, you bend over him <he's bending over as he's talking> and you cross your arms like this, and grab one of his legs in each hand like so. Then you slowly lift them up and start to uncross your arms, flipping the dog over. Then you suck it's dick."

Try that in the future. It's the best way to tell that joke.

What's the smartest thing ever to come out of a woman's mouth?

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

.620 OPS against as a reliever. I'd like that too. He's pretty filthy when he's right.

Frankly, I don't put much stock in the results of 22 innings of work, but he's arguably been the best pitcher in baseball since July 22nd, 2017.

261.1 IP
64 ER
2.20 ERA
317 Ks

Having that to bolster a bullpen is comforting.

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

What's the smartest thing ever to come out of a woman's mouth?

My dick!

 

[Pure Steel]

My dick!

I had you at 1-9 odds that your response would be that.....Unfortunately for you, the answer is Einstein's cock....

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

I think Cleveland is a tougher out than people think. They've never been pushed all year and they have 4 starters with 200 K's.

Well, maybe "capable of 200 K's." Carrasco topped out at 192 and Bauer hit 175 in 27 starts.

Damn radio hosts lied to me!

Sucks when you have to fact check these asshats in the media. Somesabitches.

Much to my embarrassment, I must apologize to Cyder, the radio hosts that I called asshats, and everyone who read the above posts.

I was wrong. I'm a dumbass, and was looking at IP. The Indians do, indeed, have four pitchers with 200 Ks.

Corey Kluber ~ 222 K ~ 215.0 IP ~ 9.3 K/9
Mike Clevinger ~ 207 K ~ 200.0 IP ~ 9.3 K/9
Carlos Carrasco ~ 231 K ~ 192.0 IP ~ 10.8 K/9
Trevor Bauer ~ 221 K ~ 175.1 IP ~ 11.3 K/9

Combined ~ 881 K ~ 782.1 IP ~ 10.1 K/9

That's filthy.

 

[Pure Steel]

Much to my embarrassment, I must apologize to Cyder, the radio hosts that I called asshats, and everyone who read the above posts.

I was wrong. I'm a dumbass, and was looking at IP. The Indians do, indeed, have four pitchers with 200 Ks.

Corey Kluber ~ 222 K ~ 215.0 IP ~ 9.3 K/9
Mike Clevinger ~ 207 K ~ 200.0 IP ~ 9.3 K/9
Carlos Carrasco ~ 231 K ~ 192.0 IP ~ 10.8 K/9
Trevor Bauer ~ 221 K ~ 175.1 IP ~ 11.3 K/9

Combined ~ 881 K ~ 782.1 IP ~ 10.1 K/9

That's filthy.

Great stats....what team do you follow?

 

[nynasty]

Much to my embarrassment, I must apologize to Cyder, the radio hosts that I called asshats, and everyone who read the above posts.

I was wrong. I'm a dumbass, and was looking at IP. The Indians do, indeed, have four pitchers with 200 Ks.

Corey Kluber ~ 222 K ~ 215.0 IP ~ 9.3 K/9
Mike Clevinger ~ 207 K ~ 200.0 IP ~ 9.3 K/9
Carlos Carrasco ~ 231 K ~ 192.0 IP ~ 10.8 K/9
Trevor Bauer ~ 221 K ~ 175.1 IP ~ 11.3 K/9

Combined ~ 881 K ~ 782.1 IP ~ 10.1 K/9

That's filthy.

Indeed. Unfortunately for them, they're about to run into the only rotation with a better K percentage.

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

Great stats....what team do you follow?

Yeah, no shit, right?

All I can say is that I've been up to my elbows in life this summer and admittedly didn't follow baseball a fraction of the extent that I used to.

Before I had kids, I used to watch parts or all of about five games a day, and I'd get to Jacob's Field for 20+ games a season.

Son of a bitch.

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

Indeed. Unfortunately for them, they're about to run into the only rotation with a better K percentage.

CLE ~ 881 K ~ 782.1 IP ~ 10.1 K/9
HOU ~ 920 K ~ 786.0 IP ~ 10.5 K/9

Yeah. That's a staggering difference. They're fucked.

 

[nynasty]

They're fucked.

That's what I've been trying to tell you!

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

Indeed. Unfortunately for them, they're about to run into the only rotation with a better K percentage.

Also, earlier you poo-poo'ed the Indians' ownership of Verlander, which leads me to believe you don't know how bad it is.

JV vs CLE - 4.71 ERA
JV vs everyone else - 3.21 ERA

In his last 17 starts against the Indians, he's 3-10 with a 5.45 ERA.

Doesn't mean beating him is a sure thing, but it's definitely in his head.

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

Also, earlier you poo-poo'ed the Indians' ownership of Verlander, which leads me to believe you don't know how bad it is.

JV vs CLE - 4.71 ERA
JV vs everyone else - 3.21 ERA

In his last 17 starts against the Indians, he's 3-10 with a 5.45 ERA.

Doesn't mean beating him is a sure thing, but it's definitely in his head.

Tribe fucks Verlander's shit up on the reg. It's not as bad as what they do to Sale, but it's bad.

 

[SlinkyRedfoot]

Rumor has it, Kate Upton offered to wrap her tiddies around Chief Wahoo's "peace pipe" if the Tribe agreed to take it easy on her precious Justy.