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Horror Movies

Sharkonabicycle

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Deep Blue Sea 3 (2020)
This is how I like my cheesy sci/fi shark flicks lol. It's not over the top to make it a horror comedy, but its real enough to try to make a monster flick. The cast wasn't too bad, but the acting seriously lacked in moments. But you should know what you're getting into with this types of flicks so you can't expect much. The cgi wasn't terrible so that was a plus. Definitely lacking but its more passable than most. The plot was ok but I was more in it for the funny kills/deaths and it delivered in that area. Mindless entertainment. Aside from some ass-shots in scooba-gear, the BoobMeter was lifeless. Strange given the shameless nature of this film.

:pound:
 

returnofjakedog

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Just watched His House on Netflix, RT has this at 100% certified fresh so I thought I would check it out.

In one sentence without giving anything away it is... A story about 2 refugees that are seeking asylum in England that are also haunted by their past.

I am being purposefully vague because I don't recall anyone posting about it yet. It is very well acted and generally and it looks good, there were some really nice transition scenes. It comes with a twist, an original story, and playing off of those... an ending that I wasn't sure the movie would do, but happy it did. It has some slight gore, some jump scares, and the movie primarily takes place in the house... and mostly one area of the house... because of that, even though I liked a lot about the movie, it still felt somewhat unfulfilled by the end. I wanted more out of the story and even though some scenes showed us what led them there and why these things are happening to them, I still felt that in the end it was a very basic or blase ghost story.

7 out of 10. Enjoyable.
I did a full review with some spoilers in it some weeks ago. I agree that it is quite well done.
*A bit slow at times but good acting.
*The twist is good but the introduction of it could have been better.
 

returnofjakedog

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Night of the Demons (2009)
BoobMeter was at a resounding 9 or 9.5 on this film. I'm sure @Chef99 knows all about it. Hussies dressed as sloots going to a Halloween party. Features the Nadia chick from the American Pie movie. I was pretty inebriated during this movie but I sort of recall watching something gross happen with one of the chick's nipples. This movie was hilariously cheesy. The plot felt like something out of the 90's. At times it reminded me of From Dusk Til Dawn (1996).

It is a remake of the 1988 cult fav Night of the Demons. I haven't seen this 2009 version yet.

*The original is a flawed, but fun encapsulation of '80s horror with Amelia Kinkade getting a B/C-level horror icon with her portrayal of the possessed Angela.
*The infamous lipstick-in-the-nipple scene in the original was "performed" by all-time Scream Queen Linnea Quigley and, along with her ass getting a lot of camera time, one of the more memorable parts.
*The character Rodger has some absolutely hilarious moments. Since '80s horror stereotypically would include a black guy who inevitably would be killed early So they made Rodger a bit meta in that he seems well aware of his character's stereotypical peril so he runs away like Usin Bolt whenever trouble arises. He has no problem saying "Fuck this, I'm outta here!" and diving through a window, and leaving a female (or other) character to fend for themselves.

From the reviews, the original is better (not great but a good watch for someone who enjoys 80s horror and stylistic homages to Evil Dead type stuff.

I'll have to check out the remake for comparison.
 

FaCe-LeE-uS

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It is a remake of the 1988 cult fav Night of the Demons. I haven't seen this 2009 version yet.

*The original is a flawed, but fun encapsulation of '80s horror with Amelia Kinkade getting a B/C-level horror icon with her portrayal of the possessed Angela.
*The infamous lipstick-in-the-nipple scene in the original was "performed" by all-time Scream Queen Linnea Quigley and, along with her ass getting a lot of camera time, one of the more memorable parts.
*The character Rodger has some absolutely hilarious moments. Since '80s horror stereotypically would include a black guy who inevitably would be killed early So they made Rodger a bit meta in that he seems well aware of his character's stereotypical peril so he runs away like Usin Bolt whenever trouble arises. He has no problem saying "Fuck this, I'm outta here!" and diving through a window, and leaving a female (or other) character to fend for themselves.

From the reviews, the original is better (not great but a good watch for someone who enjoys 80s horror and stylistic homages to Evil Dead type stuff.

I'll have to check out the remake for comparison.
I had a feeling with how retro it felt that it was a remake. Thanks for the info! I'll have to check it out!

For research en such
 

Blackshirts BLVD

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@Blackshirts BLVD - so did you ask for everyone's top 10 horror list or just wondering why I never have posted one?

Went back 10 pages or so to figure out if I just wasn't remembering the convo or to find where you asked. Didn't see anything.

I don't think that I have ever posted a top 10... Could be difficult!
Edit: I see you found it.
 

Nasty_Magician

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Watching The Dead Don't Die now on HBO, so far loving it. Tongue in cheek zombie comedy with an outstanding cast.
 

Blackshirts BLVD

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Watching The Dead Don't Die now on HBO, so far loving it. Tongue in cheek zombie comedy with an outstanding cast.
Here was my review...

The Dead Don't Die

kind of weird, it's a zombie comedy that I feel doesn't truly show what it was trying to. There are moments when the actors are talking about the movie itself - almost like a fourth wall break, but not talking to the audience but to each other instead... is that supposed to be a 3rd wall break? lol idk. But when they do that it feels like it will lead to something funny or meaningful, but then it falls right back into a non-third wall-breaking movie. Most characters seem unusually calm throughout a zombie apocalypse which plays nicely - but again I felt like it was supposed to or going to lead to something meaningful and it just never transpired.

Somewhat fun, some nice takes/differences on zombie flicks, it stars Bill Murray and Adam Driver - so solid acting as well. Story seems out of place, but also feels like it is meant to, but again... nothing comes of it. Enjoyed watching, left disappointed.

5.5/10
 

Sparhawk

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Here was my review...

The Dead Don't Die

kind of weird, it's a zombie comedy that I feel doesn't truly show what it was trying to. There are moments when the actors are talking about the movie itself - almost like a fourth wall break, but not talking to the audience but to each other instead... is that supposed to be a 3rd wall break? lol idk. But when they do that it feels like it will lead to something funny or meaningful, but then it falls right back into a non-third wall-breaking movie. Most characters seem unusually calm throughout a zombie apocalypse which plays nicely - but again I felt like it was supposed to or going to lead to something meaningful and it just never transpired.

Somewhat fun, some nice takes/differences on zombie flicks, it stars Bill Murray and Adam Driver - so solid acting as well. Story seems out of place, but also feels like it is meant to, but again... nothing comes of it. Enjoyed watching, left disappointed.

5.5/10
That's a pretty good review.
The 4th wall break was really out of place.
It felt like there was so much potential in this being a kind of indie zombie comedy flick, but it just kind of fizzled out.
 

returnofjakedog

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Here was my review...

The Dead Don't Die

kind of weird, it's a zombie comedy that I feel doesn't truly show what it was trying to. There are moments when the actors are talking about the movie itself - almost like a fourth wall break, but not talking to the audience but to each other instead... is that supposed to be a 3rd wall break? lol idk. But when they do that it feels like it will lead to something funny or meaningful, but then it falls right back into a non-third wall-breaking movie. Most characters seem unusually calm throughout a zombie apocalypse which plays nicely - but again I felt like it was supposed to or going to lead to something meaningful and it just never transpired.

Somewhat fun, some nice takes/differences on zombie flicks, it stars Bill Murray and Adam Driver - so solid acting as well. Story seems out of place, but also feels like it is meant to, but again... nothing comes of it. Enjoyed watching, left disappointed.

5.5/10
Yeah. That seems about right.

The good:
*I always like Bill Murray, but I have to admit that the "don't care and tired" character that he sometimes plays is probably my least fav version. But he still works it, because........he's Bill frickin Murray.
*It has some good fxs (but a lack of quantity). For some reason they liked a lot gut wounds (my guess is that it was the best piece the fx guys had so they used it 5 or 6 times!)
*Kind of related to the above:
Some very cool and well executed zombies! I thought they did a good job of it.
*All of the cameo appearances are pretty fun. The Iggy Pop coffee zombie has to be my personal fav. I just wish that the storylines had made them more integral to the movie instead of just moments in the film. The Tom Waits character was ok but could have been given more. Tom is always good when given something to chew on.
*Some of the easter eggs/homages are kinda funny/cool. The Pontiac LeMans is the same as the one from Night of the Living Dead. The Star Wars keychain, and SW banter between Driver and Swinton was worth a chuckle.

The bad:
*Weird in the typical Jim Jarmusch way but I don't feel it worked this time. But on the border about it, and I could see myself possibly re-evaluating the movie upon future viewings.
-To be more specific: I get that the characters remaining deadpan is intentional and therefore kinda the point, but it just didn't click for me as an en masse character trait (though it was a kinda hilarious contrast when the deputy lady finally started cracking).
*A little bit of a lack of blood and gore. The movie is rated R, and they did have some cool stuff, they didn't take full advantage of it. The fact that cutting the zombies just creates a dark mist to float out is a major disappointment and pissed me off a bit. Some good slice-n-dice with lots more splatter would have really improved the movie! Seriously!

*Selena Gomez's tiny shorts, young Johnny Depp wanna-be, and Dreadlock Guy. Nothing really wrong with them persay, just non-existent character arcs. We follow them for some time, they check into the hotel, then they die. The end. I thought we were going to get at least something out of it, but nope!
You could say similar about some other characters.

*The song. I don't know much about Sturgill Simpson but the song was not to my liking. The lyrics were good in referencing the feel of the movie but the song structure was standard old school country structure with nothing new or interesting. I find that boring.

Personally, I give it a 6 out of 10. I bump it up for the Night of the Living Dead homage stuff. The Pontiac, the fact it is near Pittsburgh, the alien stuff, that is all specific references to NOTLD. The zombies behave as they do in NOTLD (slow moving, even the retention of some memory and behavior)
I feel that they were making this as a "sister movie" to NOTLD in the sense that they could be occuring at the same time, which is kinda fun to think of while you watch it.

How they could have made this a much better movie:
1) Give it at least a few characters more than the superficial character traits and/or storylines.
Most people behave too similarly to each other. Again, I understand that this is an intentional stylistic choice but I just don't feel it works well here.
So make some people freak out in different ways. Have some go into survival mode, have some fold under stress, have some go end-of-the-world crazy.
Then, keep Bill Murray in "tired and don't care" mode. Bill like that while others are losing it could have been very funny imo.

2) Go overboard with the blood and gore. Were they going for a PG-13 and couldn't get it approved so they just released under an R? Not sure, but a seriously missed opportunity imo.

3) Lose that song. There has to be something better, regardless of the "haha, its funny because its so obvious" humor.
 

Blackshirts BLVD

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The Alchemist Cookbook.

It is a low budget indie flick that I would bet was made for less than 20k. It only has 2 actors in the whole film and is about a guy that lives in a camper in the woods where he does his alchemy hoping to figure it out and become rich. The other actor, his brother, brings him supplies to work with and live on. Eventually, the alchemist can't figure it out so he turns to black magic where things take a turn. For what it is, it isn't that bad. It also combines as a lonely man goes insane style film. Acting is somewhat spotty, to real production value to worry about, story and writing... well there isn't much to go on to really complain about or screw up... there were a couple styles and techniques I liked, but only seem to last for like 10 seconds and never be used again throughout the film, where showing the slipping into madness could have been a little better.

Again, if you come in understanding that this movie could have been made incredibly cheaply and is on par with a youtube fan film. Then I think you will appreciate it more. For that, I will give it 5 out of 10.
 

returnofjakedog

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Y'all ready for me to start doing reviews again? Damn Steelers let me down so I have more time on my hands lol
I'm right with you on the playoff collapses. Sucks that the offseason started too soon......
......but speaking of Suck........
 

Blackshirts BLVD

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The Lodge... Idk how I feel about this. It starts off with a band and I appreciate the twist and the ending, but I don't feel that is enough to make up for how the film dragged. This movie had some good moments, but felt like it sporadic and disconnected at times. Idk, I also don't really feel like talking about it too much lol.

Decent, could have been better. 5 out of 10.
 

FaCe-LeE-uS

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The Lodge... Idk how I feel about this. It starts off with a band and I appreciate the twist and the ending, but I don't feel that is enough to make up for how the film dragged. This movie had some good moments, but felt like it sporadic and disconnected at times. Idk, I also don't really feel like talking about it too much lol.

Decent, could have been better. 5 out of 10.
Is that the one with Alicia Silverstone offin' herself in the beginning?

 

Blackshirts BLVD

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Just watched Hellraiser and Hellraiser 2 for the first time (given someone recently talking about it).... talk about an entire horror series based around the best lay you ever had.

I know it is more complex than that with obsession, infatuation, etc.. but that just felt fun to say. First.... can we get back to practical effects like these. I had hoped with advancing technology we could make practical effects look even better... less robotic, maybe more life-like, etc... because the scene where the body is piecing itself together is fantastic. We need more of that in today's movies and less CGI.

With that said, the acting is spotty, the writing isn't very compelling and the story lacks a bit. I also have a problem with Pinhead now lol. Like the dude is as hesitant as a 'demon' could be. Every time he enters the room, he is like... 'wait' or he will say something ominous that won't lead to anything lol. In the 2nd movie, she tricks him into becoming human again by showing him a picture of himself before becoming a demon... -like really.... this dude became a horror icon? Also, it appears Pinhead is a new demon, relatively speaking. Then the doctor kills him anyway. That seems weird given that they are in hell. It seemed like the writer started with an interesting idea and then found a way to destroy that idea lol. Also, how in the F does Kirsty know that Julia can come back through the mattress lol? Where was any of this information given to Kirsty, did I miss this?

Idk, I expected more, especially out of the story.

5.5 out of 10.
 
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