Bloody Brian Burke
#1 CFL Fan!
Mike Babcock: Phil, glad I could finally reach you! Just so you know this phone call is being recorded for quality purposes.This goes a long way to explaining why PK might be working out with Gary Roberts in the offseason.
Phil Kessel: Yeah well you guys said it was 40 minutes or free so...
MB: Uh, no Phil this is your new coach, Mike Babcock.
PK: Oh, right, right I knew that. What can I do ya for coach?
MB: Well, I'd like to set you up with Gary Roberts and get you prepared for next season. We probably aren't going to be able to deal you because you earn the GDP of Mongolia and scored 3 goals after January.
PK: What restaurant does Gary own?
MB: No no, he's actually a fitness guy. Used to play for the team. Anyway, we don't think you're out of shape but just believe you could use a little bit of extra conditioning.
PK: *laughing hysterically* Yeah, yeah no I gotcha completely. Hell, I even wanna backcheck next season! Maybe start going into corners and learn how to take shots from places that aren't the faceoff dot! Fuck, for you coach, I'll even give up cheeseburgers!
MB: That's great to hear! I'm just going to enter this conversation into your file and it is now officially a part of your contract. Can't wait for you to hold up your end of the bargain! Remember, your contract now depends on it. Toodles! *crosses out Kessel's name on the list, begins dialing Lupul's number*