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Horror Movies

returnofjakedog

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He should set up a stand outside a local supermarket and sell cookies, maybe go door to door?

He could always have his mom sign up sponsors at work. $10 per kill to help send my boy to summer camp.
betsy palmer mrs voorhees GIF
 

FaCe-LeE-uS

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I'm surprised Universal is allowing this to happen? Looks trashy as hell... But me & my whiskey are game lol

 

returnofjakedog

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I'm surprised Universal is allowing this to happen? Looks trashy as hell... But me & my whiskey are game lol

Well, it fits right into the recent trend with the likes of The Banana Splits, and Winnie the Pooh getting horror movies. Also, Violent Night, a holiday home invasion flick starring the Stranger Thing's sheriff, which has been getting a ton of national promotion for some reason I can't really fathom:


.....but of course that isn't the first Santa horror movie with the likes of the Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise, Santa's Slay, etc.

As far as the horror Grinch movie, I just wish the had brought back Taylor Munson as Cindy Lou Who:
Screenshot_20221114-092533_Samsung Internet.jpg

Now she is singing with The Pretty Wreckless! Here she is with the remaining members of Soundgarden in what is apparently a very cold and wet set!
 

FaCe-LeE-uS

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As far as the horror Grinch movie, I just wish the had brought back Taylor Munson as Cindy Lou Who:
View attachment 315279

Now she is singing with The Pretty Wreckless! Here she is with the remaining members of Soundgarden in what is apparently a very cold and wet set!
By GAWD those nips could cut through glass

*clicks replay button*

CompetentSpecificAlaskankleekai-size_restricted.gif
 

FaCe-LeE-uS

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Well, it fits right into the recent trend with the likes of The Banana Splits, and Winnie the Pooh getting horror movies. Also, Violent Night, a holiday home invasion flick starring the Stranger Thing's sheriff, which has been getting a ton of national promotion for some reason I can't really fathom:


.....but of course that isn't the first Santa horror movie with the likes of the Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise, Santa's Slay, etc.
Holiday horror is very hit & miss... Mostly tends to be campy & gimmicky crap meant for laughs & cheap thrills.

Been keepin an eye on Violent Night. Looks like some sort of Rambo Santa rampage. Think I'm going to host a White Russian & Moscow Mule night and put that on the projector... Followed up with Christmas Vacation lol
 

returnofjakedog

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Holiday horror is very hit & miss... Mostly tends to be campy & gimmicky crap meant for laughs & cheap thrills.

Been keepin an eye on Violent Night. Looks like some sort of Rambo Santa rampage. Think I'm going to host a White Russian & Moscow Mule night and put that on the projector... Followed up with Christmas Vacation lol
That sounds like a good plan!

There are a few decent Christmas horror movies out there with the quite good Krampus (make sure you get the right one, the 2015 version, as the others kinda suck), and the underrated A Christmas Horror Story in recent years, as well as classics like Black Christmas (again, get the right one! The 1975 version, and not the '06 or '19 crap) and of course Gremlins! Then there is Silent Night, Deadly Night 2, which is "so bad, it's good" schlock but gave us the "best" eyebrow acting ever, and:
silent night deadly night part 2 trash GIF
 

returnofjakedog

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Amusement (2009)-


A kinda anthology flick about three 10 year old girls who get their psychotic classmate locked up because he made a diorama with an eviscerated rat. 12+ years later, the girls each suffer attacks in seemingly unrelated incidents.
The first girl is driving cross country with her dumbass boyfriend, when they decide to follow a trucker on backroads to avoid highway wreck traffic jams. Of course people make really bad decisions, and there is a twist, a stupid twist, but still a twist!
The second girl comes home from college to babysit her nephews. The house is filled with clown memorabilia, including a life sized creepy one. She strips down to her underwear, and then the clown chases her, and things fade to black.
The third girl's roommate doesn't come home from a party at a creepy hotel in the woods. So instead of getting the police involved, she goes to investigate with her boyfriend. She then finds girls tied into mattresses with metal wire, and she is captured.
The tie in is when girl #2 wakes up in a fake police interrogation room. She escapes into a huge, deserted prison-like basement where she is stalked by the crazy killer, and finds the other two girls all chained up.

This one is weird, and I don't know how I feel about it. It is shot really well, and they make great use of the gigantic prison-basement set. The main chick (#2) is decent, and the other actors range from decent to ok. Also the individual stories are good enough.
But the overarching story is a convoluted (yes, that word again!) mess that makes Italian schlock seem logical. Nothing makes any sense at all, and the way they tie everything together is total nonsense.
Props to the excellent fxs, the good cinematography, but the story was written by someone who didn't give a shit. I have so many questions!

5.5 outta 10 range. It is a shame because a solid rewrite could have made a good movie but instead we got complete nonsense that looks great.
 
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FaCe-LeE-uS

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That sounds like a good plan!

There are a few decent Christmas horror movies out there with the quite good Krampus (make sure you get the right one, the 2015 version, as the others kinda suck), and the underrated A Christmas Horror Story in recent years, as well as classics like Black Christmas (again, get the right one! The 1975 version, and not the '06 or '19 crap) and of course Gremlins! Then there is Silent Night, Deadly Night 2, which is "so bad, it's good" schlock but gave us the "best" eyebrow acting ever, and:
silent night deadly night part 2 trash GIF
Indeed. I was bigger on Krampus than most. Loved the fact that it was tailored towards holiday lore & family audiences. Most of my friends thought it was cheesy as hell, but I loved it.

Did you ever see Better Watch Out (2016)? Pretty sure we've talked about it together a few times. Highly recommend it if you haven't seen it.
 

returnofjakedog

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Indeed. I was bigger on Krampus than most. Loved the fact that it was tailored towards holiday lore & family audiences. Most of my friends thought it was cheesy as hell, but I loved it.

Did you ever see Better Watch Out (2016)? Pretty sure we've talked about it together a few times. Highly recommend it if you haven't seen it.
Yeah, that is another good Christmas one. We did talk about it here.

I went into it with zero expectations and thought it would be midtier at best, but I was pleasantly surprised.
 

MilkSpiller22

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I have a request for y'all...

doesnt need to be done immediately...

But can you rank the horror movies of 2022??? if you want to wait until the end of december to make it official that is cool...
 

returnofjakedog

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Just watched 4 episodes of Let The Right One In on Showtime.
Based on the Swedish version.

Pretty good so far.
Hope it ends well.
I haven't watched it yet but, rather surprisingly, my Dad has been.

My Dad is more of a action and old western type guy but for some reason he watched Let the Right One In, and he has become obsessed with the lore. He went and bought the book, and he has discussed it all with me a bunch.

So far he says that the series is alright, but he wanted a prequel to answer how the vampire was created and moved through history, also if it was originally a boy or a girl (the rather quick scar shot in the movie raises the question but it remains undefined). Apparently the vampire is 18th century Germanic area??
Anyways, apparently the series instead has the little girl vampire as a first generation and her father looking for a cure instead of a Renfield, which is a less interesting setup than the direction a prequel could have taken it imo.

I also haven't been able to get Dad to watch the American version, Let Me In yet. It kinda baffles me that he is so into the original but it is a great movie.

This is a long post regarding something I haven't even seen yet, isn't it?!?
 

Sparhawk

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I haven't watched it yet but, rather surprisingly, my Dad has been.

My Dad is more of a action and old western type guy but for some reason he watched Let the Right One In, and he has become obsessed with the lore. He went and bought the book, and he has discussed it all with me a bunch.

So far he says that the series is alright, but he wanted a prequel to answer how the vampire was created and moved through history, also if it was originally a boy or a girl (the rather quick scar shot in the movie raises the question but it remains undefined). Apparently the vampire is 18th century Germanic area??
Anyways, apparently the series instead has the little girl vampire as a first generation and her father looking for a cure instead of a Renfield, which is a less interesting setup than the direction a prequel could have taken it imo.

I also haven't been able to get Dad to watch the American version, Let Me In yet. It kinda baffles me that he is so into the original but it is a great movie.

This is a long post regarding something I haven't even seen yet, isn't it?!?
They have setup a really good dynamic between the young female vampire and her next door neighbor young male.
And his mom is a homicide cop.
And there is a research lab conducting blood work on finding a cure for the virus that causes vampirism.

While this is a horror series and there is gore, the storytelling overpowers the horror element, which I think is a good thing.

There's a bunch of threads being woven here.
A bunch intersect.
I hope they can tie it all together by the end.
 

returnofjakedog

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Cannibal! The Musical (1993)-

A Trey Parker (South Park) written, directed, produced, scored, and starring in fictional vehicle about real life exploits of infamous old western cannibal Alfred Packer. His SP partner Matt Stone is a co-writer, and co-stars.

Basically 6 miners decide to leave Utah for a big gold strike in Colorado, and rely on Alfred Packer to guide them. But Packer has no idea what he is doing. They get lost, are saved by "indians" (who for some reason are intentionally Japanese dressed in native garb), get lost again, repeatably run into a group of trappers whom they despise, and eventually start turning on and eating each other. After a violent confrontation, Packer is the last survivor. He makes it back to society but is arrested and tried for the murders but he insists he is innocent. Also, Packer is in deep love with his horse Liane but the horse leaves and he pursues her with no regard to everyone else's safety.

First and foremost, this is a comedy-musical with chunks of horror tossed in. It starts with a gruesome scene of tearing off an arm and beating a guy to death with it followed by biting a guys throat out, breaking a neck, and then tearing a guys jaw off! A good start, but after that there is 48 minutes of cross country walking interspersed with the occasional song. We do get more gore and violence after that though.

It feels more like an early Monty Python skit than South Park-ish. It does have quite a few funny moments but I didn't really like most of the songs (a couple were ok. When I'm On Top Of You was good). The fxs are decent, considering the budget. The acting generally isn't very good but that is irrelevant in this type of flick. The low budget is obvious but, again, not a huge detriment considering the type of movie.

It was picked up and distributed by Troma but, fortunately, it wasn't a Troma production (I have only really liked The Toxic Avenger from Troma, most everything else approaches unwatchable imo. However I've only seen 5 or 6 over the years).

6 to 6.5 outta 10 from me. That is probably a bit high but my South Park bias is showing, and it is pretty good for low budget independent stuff.

The funniest part that made me laugh outloud was when the reporter lady is interviewing Packer and he laments his 9 month escape before being recaptured.
The reporter says "You made it to Wyoming, didn't you?".
Packer responds with "Yeah, but I would have better off just letting those people catch and kill me."
Reporter: "Why?!?"
Packer: "Have you ever been to Wyoming?"
 

Schmoopy1000

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Well, it fits right into the recent trend with the likes of The Banana Splits, and Winnie the Pooh getting horror movies. Also, Violent Night, a holiday home invasion flick starring the Stranger Thing's sheriff, which has been getting a ton of national promotion for some reason I can't really fathom:


.....but of course that isn't the first Santa horror movie with the likes of the Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise, Santa's Slay, etc.

As far as the horror Grinch movie, I just wish the had brought back Taylor Munson as Cindy Lou Who:
View attachment 315279

Now she is singing with The Pretty Wreckless! Here she is with the remaining members of Soundgarden in what is apparently a very cold and wet set!
Go Hard Chain Saw GIF by CATCHIN' DEERS
wood satisfying GIF
Smash Too Much GIF by 60 Second Docs
 

FaCe-LeE-uS

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I have a request for y'all...

doesnt need to be done immediately...

But can you rank the horror movies of 2022??? if you want to wait until the end of december to make it official that is cool...
I've been WAY behind on horror movies this year... But so far this is how I'd rank what I've watched:

1. Barbarian... Best I've seen thus far.
2. Prey (not really horror, but worth a creature-feature shout-out)
3. Smile... Clever movie tailored for younger audiences. Not everyone's cup of tea, but I liked it.
4. Halloween Ends... It was a new direction, and it had its warts. But I liked that they at least tried something new and the story worked pretty well.
5. The Privilege... Pretty wild movie TBH. Goes from moody psychological thriller to full-on sci-fi craziness. Well made though.
6. Nope... Odd movie, but top notch quality. Great visual & fun tactics, but quirky. Kind of loses all its suspense before the climax.
7. Scream... Rinse & repeat of the original, but still nostalgic fun.
8. Hellraiser... Gift for the OG fans after a slew of subpar sequels.
9. Old People... Pretty funny idea but this english-dubbed movie was pretty surprising.
10. Choose Or Die... Game/tech horror genre clash with paranormal. It was well made but the concept has been beaten over the head a lot over the last 3-4 years.
11. Day Shift... Vamp Horror Comedy. The cool parts are few & far between and the comedy was cringeworthy at times. But its still somewhat entertaining.
12. Jeepers Creepers: Reborn... Very low budget lol, but at least it didn't pretend to be something more than a B-horror. I can appreciate that lol. And it helps us forget about that abomination JC3.
13. The Black Phone... Disappointed with this one. Trailers had me thinking it would be more than it turned out to be.
14. Texas Chainsaw Massacre... Really disappointed in this film. Gore was the only highlight. The plot & characters were cringe-worthy. What a waste of Sally's connected character arc.
15. The Weekend Away... Not horror, but a decent abduction thriller.

Also not sure if we want to, but like it or not, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness was marketed as Marvel Studios' first scary movie. Sam Raimi did a great job blending horror elements into that film.
 
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