Horror Movies

[DJ Fieri]

@DJ, are you lost?

Nope. That is horror related. I post those in here.

Mind yr business, you grumpy old fuck.

 

[Fish]

Nope. That is horror related. I post those in here.

Mind yr business, you grumpy old fuck.

Just admit you're lost, no shame in it.

 

[DJ Fieri]

Just admit you're lost, no shame in it.

Fuck off.

 

[Fish]

Fuck off.

No. You.

Eat a dick.

No, a whole room full of dicks.

 

[DJ Fieri]

No. You.

Eat a dick.

No, a whole room full of dicks.

Mind your fucking business....how about that?

 

[Fish]

Mind your fucking business....how about that?

Maybe.

No.

 

[Nasty_Magician]

The series was good but there was just something missing in most of them. I find it hard to describe.
Very good production value (never felt cheap), top shelf casting but the end product was akin to a Tofu burger.
You are full but you are kinda not.

It was missing what Black Mirror has in a lot of it's episodes ....a riveting feeling is how I would describe it.

.

I somewhat agree. Some were much better done/complete than others. There was only one that I truly felt was a dud. I thought the final episode was the most well rounded and hit it's mark.

Not the greatest ever but absolutely worth a watch and you'll have fun with most of them.

 

[returnofjakedog]

Just admit you're lost, no shame in it.

Ummmmm......

@DJ has been regularly meming it up here for a long time!

.......so he probably is lost, but has been lost here for years now.....

 

[Sparhawk]

The series was good but there was just something missing in most of them. I find it hard to describe.
Very good production value (never felt cheap), top shelf casting but the end product was akin to a Tofu burger.
You are full but you are kinda not.

It was missing what Black Mirror has in a lot of it's episodes ....a riveting feeling is how I would describe it.

.

I somewhat agree. Some were much better done/complete than others. There was only one that I truly felt was a dud. I thought the final episode was the most well rounded and hit it's mark.

Not the greatest ever but absolutely worth a watch and you'll have fun with most of them.

Reminded me of Tales From the Crypt, just not as campy.
Always nice to see what up and coming directors can do with a horror story and a decent budget.

Some of the stories miss their mark, but on the whole, I enjoyed watching these.

 

[Sparhawk]

Ummmmm......

@DJ has been regularly meming it up here for a long time!

.......so he probably is lost, but has been lost here for years now.....

Don't be so harsh on @Fish.

The next contribution he makes will be his first......

 

[returnofjakedog]

Ok then! Movie #3 of my b-day theatre marathon (after Barbarian and Smile) was the blood soaked Terrifier 2!


So directly after the events of Terrifier, Art the Clown is resurrected and immediately starts hack-slaying folks in brutal fashion. As opposed to Terrifier, this one actually has a strong plot with a story arch which includes a family of 3 with a final girl daughter and weirdo son. Apparently their father went crazy a year previous and killed himself. But not before leaving an artist book that indicates he knew of Art's existence and provides a weapon that might help defeat him(maybe?)
Anyways, the daughter attends a party and gets dosed, then sidetracked to help her brother who gets caught by Art. Chaos ensues throughout the run time as Art creepily mimes his way through gruesome kill after gruesome kill until we reach a slashy conclusion followed by a bizaree reset.

The good-
*Art the Clown remains totally fucking awesome. He is a hack slaying machine of unknown origin and full of really, really creepy dark humor. David Howard Thornton absolutely owns the performance as the silent killer.

*The gore, and more gore, and more gore!
This movie is a full on splatter fest of violence and guts. The practical fxs are generally awesome and there are a ton of them!
The downside of this is that this movie is not for everyone. So don't bring the kids, and don't go if you want a light hearted romp of PG-13 style jump scares.

*The main protagonist. As much as I loved Art in Terrifier, there was very little to no plot or story, and no real "threat" to oppose Art's slaughterfest. Here we have actress Lauren LaVera doing a fine job as final girl Sienna. She is a solid character and a good foil to Art.

*Art gets an awesome sidekick as The Little Pale Girl hangs out and behaves very similar to Art. Creepy as fuck!

*One of, if not the most, brutal kills ever!
I made a similar statement in my recent review here of Santa Sangre, but this one tops it!
The story goes they were filming the scene when covid quarantine caused a couple week delay. Instead of doing nothing, they regrouped and spent the entire time upping the entire slaughter a few notches! Truely gruesome!

The bad:
*Though it is all very well done for what it is and doesn't detract much, the low budget is evident in the overall look and feel. Still an impressive feat overall for 250k though.

*The run time/editing. While director Damien Leone does a lot of great work in many aspects of the production, perhaps a more experienced editor could have trimmed some from the 2 hour 30 minute run time. Also the cinematography is solid, but rather basic.

*Questions. You would think that such a long run time would answer something in regards to Art's origins, powers, and motivations, but nope, not really! Apparently they are planning a third (and supposedly final) full film that will hopefully clarify.

*Some of the acting is just average to mediocre with the likes of some of the friends and family being a level below Art, Sienna, and the Little Pale Girl.

All in all, a must see if you can handle excess amounts of blood, guts, and viscera! I'll go a solid 8 to 8.5 outta 10 but I admitably infatuated with the Art character and already am putting him next to the likes of Leatherface, Pinhead, etc. and just barely below the big 3 of Jason, Freddy, and Michael just due to sheer number of appearances. But I expect Art to move up even more over time.

A masterpiece in it's own blood-soaked manner, and even more impressive as a low-budget independent film that is raking in boxoffice and adding theatres. See it if you can handle the crazed violence and gore but don't bring the kids!

 

[Podunkparte]

Barbarian was a great choice for Halloween night!

Reminded me of the scariest X Files episode ever made.

 

[Sparhawk]

So, with the Phillies game rained out, I watched Barbarian on HBO Max.

For one night of entertainment value, I'd give it a 7/10.
Claustrophobic with an indoor Hills Have Eyes vibe, for those that have seen that one.
I was left with more questions than answers.
Not so much with the logic of the choices being made by the main characters, but things like the rope door being a good idea.

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

 

[returnofjakedog]

F'n A! About damn time!

It was supposed to be done a few years after 28 Weeks Later, but infighting between rights holders killed it (kinda like the Friday the 13th series, the assholes have delayed production for years because they can decide how to divide the money).

They left off 28 Weeks Later with the carrier kid landing in France, and then the infection persumably spreading to continental Europe. The original concept was that after 28 months the entire world was now in a full on z-pocalypse of some sort. I'm not sure that this is still the basic concept of not, but I am hoping it is, and hopefully they have extended infection spreading across the globe scenes!

Garland's comment of "It feels like a very good time to make it" is a bit chilling considering the state of affairs at the moment.

 

[returnofjakedog]

Ok then! Enough of me reviewing new, good movies. Back to old, sometimes not so great stuff.

American Gothic (1988)-

A group of kinda annoying folks get stranded on a island after their seaplane conks out. After some exploration they find a lone house inhabited by a family of religious oddballs of questionable intellect and genetics. The visitors start getting knocked off one by one as the crazy family ramps up the violence and insanity.

This one is, well, pretty weird. It was savaged by both critics and audiences upon release. It isn't a good movie per se but it is nuts and pretty amusing at times.

The protagonists are nondescript with the singular exception of the final girl. Rod Steiger (On the Waterfront, In the Heat of the Night. Both huge classics!), and Yvonne DeCarlo (Lily Munster, but not looking hot at this point) play the parents of three 40 to 50 year old emotionally and mentally stunted crazies who start by creeping everyone out before escalating to isolating and attacking the visitors over a few days. The already established emotionally unstable final girl eventually has a full on breakdown and joins the family, but this doesn't go as planned!

Steiger and DeCarlo are good as the crazed bible thumping Ma and Pa, as is the crazy 50 some year old daughter who thinks she is 12. But the movie still falls short of decent, and might actually be better as a "So bad, it's good" flick? (I'm not 100% sure on this). Beyond the weird performances it is generally decent production I guess.

A not as good version of Spider Baby (which I really liked. Reviewed in this thread)? That would be my closest approximation.

I'm torn. I really like the story and some of the batshit craziness and weird performances but the overall product is a bit "meh". 5 to 5.5 outta 10. Might be a 7+ as a "So bad, it's good" feature?

Beyond the Darkness (1979)-

Yes, more Italian schlock! This one from director Joe D'Amato who is most famous for the Emmanuelle movies, and horror-soft core crossover trash.

A young pretty boy taxidermist inherits a large estate where he lives with his creepy housekeeper. His fiancee dies after the housekeeper curses her with black magic rituals. The master has a breakdown and steals her corpse which he preserves and keeps in his bedroom.
At this point you kinda feel sorry for the guy, but it turns out he is a dispicable madman who captures, tortures, and sometimes cannibalizes women.

Another strange one. There are no protagonists. The leads (creepy guy, and housekeeper) have some weird psychosexual love-hate relationship (I think she used to be his governess?). Stuff seems to happen solely so they can up the grossness and violence, with little regard to logic or plot. The acting is mostly average but not helped by the dubbing (which isn't the worst I've heard, but still......). But the story is interesting, and there are some cool shots and fxs.

4.5ish outta 10. Mostly trash with a few high points. It might also fall into the "So bad, it's good" catagory.

Both of these movies are conceptually interesting and have good stories hiding in them, but have failed on several levels of execution. I think that they could be solid remakes but no one would ever attempt them.

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Man Hollywood is working hard to reboot & ride coattails anymore