Horror Movies

[Sharkonabicycle]

SO you're tellin me that the bat creature boosted your rating of the woman-empowering Shadow In the Cloud (2020)?

I always thought you were just a softy with an inner-feminist...

That movie was something special 'all sorts of awkward'. I don't think that classifies as a creature feature, horror, action, thriller... it's just in a category all on its own. Again the premise sounded interesting... the Twilight Zone Movie remake of Nightmare at 20,000 feet with Lithgow was great and absolutely terrifying. Heavy Metal's (animation movie) B-17 segment was also pretty terrifying.

But then there's Shadow in the Cloud... a true kind of special.... they should put that movie on in psychiatry ward with catatonic patients or in the ICU with coma patients to snap them back into reality. I'm sure after viewing that movie for 3-5 minutes they'll jerk up and run down the hall screaming.

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

That movie was something special 'all sorts of awkward'. I don't think that classifies as a creature feature, horror, action, thriller... it's just in a category all on its own. Again the premise sounded interesting... the Twilight Zone Movie remake of Nightmare at 20,000 feet with Lithgow was great and absolutely terrifying. Heavy Metal's (animation movie) B-17 segment was also pretty terrifying.

But then there's Shadow in the Cloud... a true kind of special.... they should put that movie on in psychiatry ward with catatonic patients or in the ICU with coma patients to snap them back into reality. I'm sure after viewing that movie for 3-5 minutes they'll jerk up and run down the hall screaming.

Well if watching a chick lay the lumber on a bat creature before promptly whipping out her tit to breastfeed her child on the beaches of Normandy doesn't snap you into reality... then I don't know what will

 

[returnofjakedog]

I don't recall this movie very well but my review says I liked it!

Horror Movies

COMING SOON Don't Knock Twice (2017) Release date: International release is on January 12th. But I heard it had limited releases elsewhere (UK?). Synopsis: A mother desperate to reconnect with her troubled daughter becomes embroiled in the urban legend of a demonic witch. UK horror film...

sportshoop.la

I usually check to see if they have been reviewed here before, but for some reason I didn't this time out.

It seems we had similar notes on the movie, but you rated it a bit higher than I did.

The acting was good, but the story devolved to the point where everyone was chewing scenery. I can handle 2 or 3 scene-chewers in a movie but when the entire cast of a basically 9 person movie all start going over the top it can be a bit much.

 

[returnofjakedog]

Extracurricular (2018)


Teen slasher drama about a group of teenagers that secretly work together to kill people. It's a pretty straightforward drama thriller, although the motives were hard to fathom because they didn't give us any sort of backstory or agenda. Merely killing for the sake of killing. That's fine & dandy, but when you see the household for Miriam in particular its becomes a bizarre reach for her character. Her family is well off, and very supportive. She has firm foundations & is driven by her dancing hobby. So why does she like killing? Just doesn't make sense. The Gordon brothers make a little more sense since they have a more disjointed household with a semi-absent father, but they still had an appearance of being well-loved. Maybe Miriam was merely pushed into this life by these boys, which makes her arc all the more tragic? Somewhat plausible, but still strange. I did like how they gave every single character a likable moment to humanize them and make us root for them.

The progression of this film was great. How these kids entwined their regular life with their sinister life was well written & made for an entertaining sequence of events. And thankfully they made these kids clever too... Some of the methodical things they did to keep themselves from getting caught was smart. Those sort of details are essential for these types of crime drama movies to work. I was sort of pissed that eventually the downfall was because of a cliché... I think they could have thought of something better than that, because "teens will be teens" doesn't really work when they were so smart about every detail before that climactic night sequence. But that climax was pretty good. Watching that final sequence was surprising & enthralling, although a bit confusing how it unfolded.

Overall I'd call this a hidden gem IMO! It was well acted for a teenager drama, and the writing & cinematics were great. It took more of a crime drama approach vs the stereotypical & cliché-ridden messes that we've seen with teenager slasher films.

Teenaged murder club for crime drama enthusiasts... 7.5/10

This one seems worth a watch!

 

[returnofjakedog]

I like the trailer, but WTF is up with the blue facepaint?

 

[returnofjakedog]

Workout movie of the day was Prey (2019), which falls into the running around on a island genre (as opposed to the running around in the woods genre). Then demonic influences of some undefined sort!


So 16ish Toby's dad is demised by some thrill killers who want his awesome Camero SS. Toby is suffering trauma so they put him on a boat with a bunch of other troubled youths, sail to the South Pacific, and drop each teen off on their own island for 3 days.
Toby doesn't know shit about survival stuff, so he promptly loses his food, cuts himself a few times, then eats raw clams and gets sick. Fortunately for him it turns out the island isn't deserted as a 16 year old hot chick Madeleine shows up and helps him out. She lives alone on the island with her mother, and there are signs of more people being there previously.
Of course things are not what they seem and Toby fights to survive and escape the island with Madeleine.

The good:
*Good locations
*Professionally shot
*FXs are decent enough. The creature stuff is kinda cool I guess.
*I liked the score and soundtrack

The bad:
*The premise was a bit cringy. There had to be a better back story than just sticking troubled youth onto random islands for experience. I just can't realistically see it happening, even for only 3 days.
*Acting was hit and miss at best, which is probably expected when you put a couple of teens as your leads.
*Story has some questionable scenerio stuff going on.
It is one of those movies that would have worked better as a 30 minute short.

All in all, it is "meh". I liked it alright but nothing great. IMDB has it as a 4.7, and I can't disagree much. I'll go 5 outta 10.

It is basically The Blue Lagoon meets a demonic creature feature.

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Workout movie of the day was Prey (2019), which falls into the running around on a island genre (as opposed to the running around in the woods genre). Then demonic influences of some undefined sort!


So 16ish Toby's dad is demised by some thrill killers who want his awesome Camero SS. Toby is suffering trauma so they put him on a boat with a bunch of other troubled youths, sail to the South Pacific, and drop each teen off on their own island for 3 days.
Toby doesn't know shit about survival stuff, so he promptly loses his food, cuts himself a few times, then eats raw clams and gets sick. Fortunately for him it turns out the island isn't deserted as a 16 year old hot chick Madeleine shows up and helps him out. She lives alone on the island with her mother, and there are signs of more people being there previously.
Of course things are not what they seem and Toby fights to survive and escape the island with Madeleine.

The good:
*Good locations
*Professionally shot
*FXs are decent enough. The creature stuff is kinda cool I guess.
*I liked the score and soundtrack

The bad:
*The premise was a bit cringy. There had to be a better back story than just sticking troubled youth onto random islands for experience. I just can't realistically see it happening, even for only 3 days.
*Acting was hit and miss at best, which is probably expected when you put a couple of teens as your leads.
*Story has some questionable scenerio stuff going on.
It is one of those movies that would have worked better as a 30 minute short.

All in all, it is "meh". I liked it alright but nothing great. IMDB has it as a 4.7, and I can't disagree much. I'll go 5 outta 10.

It is basically The Blue Lagoon meets a demonic creature feature.

Now that I finally got a search to work... Here's my review: Horror Movies

Similar thoughts as usual!

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

 

[Blackshirts BLVD]

Phobias 2021 - Spoilers below (but don't worry, you aren't missing anything)


IMDB Synopsis: Five dangerous patients, suffering from extreme phobias at a government testing facility, are put to the ultimate test under the supervision of a crazed doctor and his quest to weaponize fear.

That is an awful way to describe this movie. But if I am being honest, I am not sure how to describe this film. The phobias are terrible. One has the fear of driving, but drives all the time and just got into an accident AFTER she intentionally murdered someone. Somehow that makes it immediately a phobia. Another girl has a phobia of guns.... why? Because she was a cop and blindly shot into a room killing a kid. Now any time she hears anything remotely close to gun shows, she turns into Jason Bourne, only weighing 110 pounds. Another person is afraid of robots.... not sure why, no robots are EVER shown in this movie (a giant man made from electricity is though and that made no fucking sense whatsoever). Another girl is afraid of youth - the back story around this one might be the worst. She is having an affair with these kids father, the kids break into her home, cut her face and tell her they are going to kill her. She pushes one, he hits his head and dies and she is labeled a murderer for it.... that is despite the kids breaking in, cutting her, chasing her, etc... Now, now if she sees someone that remotely looks young, she freaks out. Like wtf. Macy Grays character has a fear of imperfection... I won't go into her backstory, but she is like Dexter meets Dr Frankenstein.

This movie is atrocious on all levels. The phobias are bad, the way they show the phobias coming about is bad, the acting is spotty, The backstories make no sense. The effects are mediocre at best. Nothing flows in the story, the pacing is bad. I am honestly trying to find one good thing to say... I guess I will say that I think there is a neat idea buried somewhere in this awful joke of a movie and the production, though not great, is tolerable. The sound design is also semi ok.


2/10.

 

[returnofjakedog]

2/10.

Ouch!

Thanks for the warning. I almost watched this the other day. One to avoid.

 

[returnofjakedog]

Man, they really, really screwed up the masks at times during the franchise. You'd think that would be an easy slam dunk.......but nope!

 

[returnofjakedog]

So I watched Ultimate Zombie Feast, which is a 5.5 hour 2012 zombie short film anthology that was re-released in 2020 in a condensed 2.5 hours.


I'm not going to spend a ton of time on this one. The short films vary from decent for amateur to pretty damn bad. A few are interesting but generally speaking it is a waste of time for anyone but the really, really hardcore zombie fans (and even I was generally underwhelmed).

3 out of 10 from me, and that is with a point added for effort. I cannot recommend.

 

[returnofjakedog]

Little Monsters (2019)-


So you take Kindergarten Cop, mash it together with Shaun of the Dead, and make the lead a School of Rock era Jack Black clone only dumber and ruder, and you get Little Monsters.

I know that synopsis sounds bad but it is actually pretty decent in many aspects, and I laughed out loud quite a bit.

Not-Jack Black is an emotionally stunted man-child loser who ends up helping his little nephew on a school field trip (note that it isn't from the goodness of his heart, but more from his horniness for the teacher). A military base near the kiddy park they are visiting has a zombie breech, everyone starts getting eaten and turned. So the class has to take refuge in a gift shop where it is up to Not-J.B. and teacher chick to try to get them out.

The good:
*Professionally done. Good quality production from basically all aspects (despite some script issues).
*Acting is pretty decent. The adults are generally good, particulary the teacher, who played the lead in Us, and the horrible kiddie star celebrity. The quite young kids don't embarass themselves which is all you can ask for when giving so many of them significant screen time.
*Lots and LOTS of zombies! Pretty good fxs, and many zombies makes for a fun visual.
*One of the funnier zom-coms out there. A step below Shaun of the Dead, but what isn't in that genre?

The bad:
*Never really scary, and certainly comedy first over horror. It was rated R so there isn't really any excuse for not amping up the violence and gore a bit more.
-Why is it so hard for movies to find that Evil Dead 2 horror-comedy balance sweet spot?
*Related to the above point: despite the fact that they somehow managed to take everyone else down, the zombies barely seem to be a threat. They are weak and really slow. They can overwhelm by numbers if the victim is stupid and runs into them but beyond that they are pretty tame. I'd equate them to an even lamer version of the "vampires" from The Last Man on Earth with Vincent Price.
*The story becomes redundant and the movie kinda peters out towards the end.

To optimize the movie: Cut 10 minutes of the lamer kid stuff, and 5 minutes of repetitive lead character establishment, and replace it with 15 minutes of violence, gore, and suspense. Make the zombies a bit stronger and faster so the actually seem like a threat.

6.5 to 7 outta 10 range from me. I could see the potential for much more but it was almost as if they didn't want to really scare all of the child actors.

-One minor storyline part that kinda bugged me: Why make the United States military the "bad guys"? Don't we have enough shit going on without the Aussies piling on? Lol!
The movie is set in Australia. The problem is that the USA has almost zero military presence in Australia. In reality they have an intelligence facility near Alice Springs, and a communications hub on the west coast. So 2 small facilities, both in the middle of fricken nowhere.

 

[Blackshirts BLVD]

Come Play 2020


IMDB synopsis: A monster named Larry manifests itself through smart phones and mobile devices. Feature film version of the 2017 short film.

I never saw the short film version, but this movie felt more about a mother's love for her child and friendship than it did of a creature feature. There isn't anything wrong with that, but the creature leaves a lot to be desired. It travels through the devices and watches you literally through the screen on your phone or tablet, not through a camera function or anything lol. Idk if that matters to anyone, but watch how they do it and tell me it doesn't bother you lol. The backstory of the creature is super lame in my opinion. I felt like it was going to spin off into something like Pennywise, like a creature from a different dimension, but sadly it did not.

Spoiler: Creatures backstory

He was made from the loneliness people feel nowadays because of their obsessions with technology

If you read the spoiler, like I said... super lame.


You hardly see the creature, which for some movies that have stronger plots and backstories and writing.... you can get away with that, i.e. Alien. In this movie, there are SO MANY references to the creature and small glimpses here and there that it didn't feel like it was really necessary to hide it so much, but budget and all amirite lol. The movie does jump right in though, which is nice. The first scene is practically an introduction of the creature to the main kid. The production is fine, could be better, but didn't feel low budget. I really felt that the suspense factor was off and that made the pacing feel a bit off in my opinion. The acting was decent enough, even from the kids. All in all, it is a watch once and be done with it type of movie. Nothing special, nothing to really remember other than it does have a horrifying look from the mother based on what happens to her toward the end, that was rather intense.

If you don't care, here is the scene of what I was talking about with the mother, EASILY the most horrifying part of the entire movie. Also, try to think about it from the perspective of the child, even crazier.

Spoiler: Mothers Face

I would give it a 4/10. There are some things to like, but some things are unforgivable imo.

 

[Blackshirts BLVD]

Little Monsters (2019)-


So you take Kindergarten Cop, mash it together with Shaun of the Dead, and make the lead a School of Rock era Jack Black clone only dumber and ruder, and you get Little Monsters.

I know that synopsis sounds bad but it is actually pretty decent in many aspects, and I laughed out loud quite a bit.

Not-Jack Black is an emotionally stunted man-child loser who ends up helping his little nephew on a school field trip (note that it isn't from the goodness of his heart, but more from his horniness for the teacher). A military base near the kiddy park they are visiting has a zombie breech, everyone starts getting eaten and turned. So the class has to take refuge in a gift shop where it is up to Not-J.B. and teacher chick to try to get them out.

The good:
*Professionally done. Good quality production from basically all aspects (despite some script issues).
*Acting is pretty decent. The adults are generally good, particulary the teacher, who played the lead in Us, and the horrible kiddie star celebrity. The quite young kids don't embarass themselves which is all you can ask for when giving so many of them significant screen time.
*Lots and LOTS of zombies! Pretty good fxs, and many zombies makes for a fun visual.
*One of the funnier zom-coms out there. A step below Shaun of the Dead, but what isn't in that genre?

The bad:
*Never really scary, and certainly comedy first over horror. It was rated R so there isn't really any excuse for not amping up the violence and gore a bit more.
-Why is it so hard for movies to find that Evil Dead 2 horror-comedy balance sweet spot?
*Related to the above point: despite the fact that they somehow managed to take everyone else down, the zombies barely seem to be a threat. They are weak and really slow. They can overwhelm by numbers if the victim is stupid and runs into them but beyond that they are pretty tame. I'd equate them to an even lamer version of the "vampires" from The Last Man on Earth with Vincent Price.
*The story becomes redundant and the movie kinda peters out towards the end.

To optimize the movie: Cut 10 minutes of the lamer kid stuff, and 5 minutes of repetitive lead character establishment, and replace it with 15 minutes of violence, gore, and suspense. Make the zombies a bit stronger and faster so the actually seem like a threat.

6.5 to 7 outta 10 range from me. I could see the potential for much more but it was almost as if they didn't want to really scare all of the child actors.

-One minor storyline part that kinda bugged me: Why make the United States military the "bad guys"? Don't we have enough shit going on without the Aussies piling on? Lol!
The movie is set in Australia. The problem is that the USA has almost zero military presence in Australia. In reality they have an intelligence facility near Alice Springs, and a communications hub on the west coast. So 2 small facilities, both in the middle of fricken nowhere.

I laughed out loud on the trailer 'Like fuck they're not' - lmao.

Never even heard of this one, but I kinda have a thing for Lupita Nyong'o.... and she is a good actress lol.

 

[returnofjakedog]

I laughed out loud on the trailer 'Like fuck they're not' - lmao.

Never even heard of this one, but I kinda have a thing for Lupita Nyong'o.... and she is a good actress lol.

She is really good in it, and there is a lot of really funny stuff in it. Worth a watch!

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Come Play 2020


IMDB synopsis: A monster named Larry manifests itself through smart phones and mobile devices. Feature film version of the 2017 short film.

I never saw the short film version, but this movie felt more about a mother's love for her child and friendship than it did of a creature feature. There isn't anything wrong with that, but the creature leaves a lot to be desired. It travels through the devices and watches you literally through the screen on your phone or tablet, not through a camera function or anything lol. Idk if that matters to anyone, but watch how they do it and tell me it doesn't bother you lol. The backstory of the creature is super lame in my opinion. I felt like it was going to spin off into something like Pennywise, like a creature from a different dimension, but sadly it did not.

Spoiler: Creatures backstory

He was made from the loneliness people feel nowadays because of their obsessions with technology

If you read the spoiler, like I said... super lame.


You hardly see the creature, which for some movies that have stronger plots and backstories and writing.... you can get away with that, i.e. Alien. In this movie, there are SO MANY references to the creature and small glimpses here and there that it didn't feel like it was really necessary to hide it so much, but budget and all amirite lol. The movie does jump right in though, which is nice. The first scene is practically an introduction of the creature to the main kid. The production is fine, could be better, but didn't feel low budget. I really felt that the suspense factor was off and that made the pacing feel a bit off in my opinion. The acting was decent enough, even from the kids. All in all, it is a watch once and be done with it type of movie. Nothing special, nothing to really remember other than it does have a horrifying look from the mother based on what happens to her toward the end, that was rather intense.

If you don't care, here is the scene of what I was talking about with the mother, EASILY the most horrifying part of the entire movie. Also, try to think about it from the perspective of the child, even crazier.

Spoiler: Mothers Face

I would give it a 4/10. There are some things to like, but some things are unforgivable imo.

I've been wanting to watch this one based on the trailer... Thanks for posting on it and saving me the disappointment. I'll probably still watch it eventually but good to know that it doesn't match the hype the trailer gives it.

 

[returnofjakedog]

Lol!