tOfficial Apologize To Incognito Thread

[JDM]

He brought it on himself by earning the reputation he has.

It doesn't change the fact that he's still immensely more hirable.

 

[Tubbs1518]

God I hope JDM gets busted right in the face by a bully. He is as big a piece of trash as Incognito is.

 

[JDM]

God I hope JDM gets busted right in the face by a bully. He is as big a piece of trash as Incognito is.

I have never been punched in the face and doubt I ever will be.


I don't understand what is wrong with highlighting the obvious fact that Martin is not capable of contributing to an NFL team.

 

[Darkstone42]

Regardless of the facts, Martin is clearly in a place of poor mental health, and the lack of support he's received from his teammates is troubling. They can stand up for Incognito all they want (although there is no excuse for what Incognito said, tough love, "friendly" ribbing, team culture, or otherwise, and in fact it would be even more troubling to me if that was accepted practice in an NFL locker room), but they need to be showing at least some support for Martin. Calling him crazy or a liar doesn't help. At the very least, they should be saying they hope he gets it sorted out.

I've had friends go through some pretty rough stretches mentally and emotionally. One even attempted suicide (and fortunately failed). Here's some things I learned:

When someone's having trouble mentally, they don't just "think happy thoughts and get better." Sometimes they can't feel at all. Sometimes little things set them off. Sometimes, they just can't shake some unexplained feeling. But in every case, it screws with their perceptions, their self-image, and their self-worth. Things they could deal with a month ago suddenly become painful. Issues from years ago resurface without prompting. It's a spiral, and it's tough, and nothing anyone says makes it better.

Martin is biracial. At every level of culture, being biracial is one of the most difficult things to deal with in terms of fitting in, self-identity, and bullying. We have such rigid ideas of race, so driven by generalizations and stereotypes, that we don't know where to group biracial individuals. So they become outcasts. Because we just have to group people, and we're inflexible on that point. Incognito's voicemail probably brought up a lot of those issues from throughout Martin's life, and, whether he laughed it off or not (actually a common response for someone who's struggling to fit in and feels insulted, often in the hopes that the bullying will end or they can gain some degree of acceptance), it likely hurt him deeply.

Sometimes when people have these self-worth issues they have a hard time bringing them up, confronting someone. Their performance falls at work. I've seen that, too. You have no motivation because it all feels so hopeless. You're tired because you can't stop thinking about your failures, regardless of any successes. It's emotionally crippling. Tough love doesn't help. Tender love doesn't help. Nothing helps.

Blame Incognito or not, those around Martin did not handle his situation well. They alienated him and told him to "toughen up" and "act like a man." When you feel like a shell as it is, those bits of advice hurt more than they help. If Martin is a victim of nothing else, he's a victim of a negligent and harmful supposed support system, but he's still a victim, and blaming him is a still victim blaming and an unacceptable component of our culture.

And we really need to stop telling people struggling with mental health issues that they need to toughen up. It's not helpful.

/rant.

 

[Ironbreaker]

That guy Smart, really isn't...

Miami Dolphins lineman Richie Incognito was investigated last year for harassing a volunteer at the Dolphins' annual golf tournament by allegedly ******ing her with a golf club, according to Aventura, Fla., police.

 

[LALakersboy24.7]

 

[RoboticDreams]

Miami Dolphins lineman Richie Incognito was investigated last year for harassing a volunteer at the Dolphins' annual golf tournament by allegedly ******ing her with a golf club, according to Aventura, Fla., police.

How convenient that it's coming out now. :rollseyes:

 

[MrMoJoRisin63]

God I hope JDM gets busted right in the face by a bully. He is as big a piece of trash as Incognito is.

He is the epitome of internet tough guy I have been through it with him before. Truth is he is probably some scrawny little hen pecked man hiding from society and women in general.

 

[MrMoJoRisin63]

How convenient that it's coming out now. :rollseyes:

Why did it need to come earlier? If it was investigated it's public record looks like some reporter dug into it because of what is going on. it's called reporting.

Reporting | Define Reporting at Dictionary.com

 

[JDM]

He is the epitome of internet tough guy I have been through it with him before. Truth is he is probably some scrawny little hen pecked man hiding from society and women in general.

Who I am here is exactly who I am in reality. I tell things how they are.

 

[Wazmankg]

How convenient that it's coming out now. :rollseyes:

It's not as if you have to dig really deep to find dirt on Incognito.

 

[TBBishop]

It's my opinion that Richie Incognito is a piece of shit. I thought he was a piece of shit in St. Louis. Nothing that I had ever heard about Incognito was positive including his statement that he wants to be known as the dirtiest player in the league and he goes out and works toward that goal every Sunday. I hadn't had a chance to post but I kept trying to tell people that we didn't hear what Incognito said, we only read it and it was my bet that the tone was playful and not angry based on him laughing after he said he would smack Martin's mother. It was my bet that at least in Incognito's eyes, they were boys and he felt that he could call him an N I double G A and tell him he was going to (expletive) in his mouth and he wouldn't flip out about it. At the end of the day Incognito, I believe, is still a POS but I truly can't see where he should lose his gig over this.

Martin I don't think is long for the NFL. I can't see where he will ever be accepted again in a locker room. He'll get a job, someone will think that they can get the most out of him and provide him an environment that he will feel safe in. But the sad reality is he turned his back on his "family" and has a soft label that will be hard to ever overcome with his peers. It's a shame that a person who's a little more sensitive will just get ran off but this is the life in the profession that he chose. I feel sorry for him. I do. I hate bullies, there isn't many things worse. I've never been bullied but it's not hard to see the damage it does to the vics. And for those who say that you can't consider what goes on between 300lb men bullying, I can understand but if Martin feels he's being bullied then he being bullied. I also agree with both sides that popping Incognito in the mouth is both the most ridiculous and only way to properly handle the situation. He probably handled it about as poorly as he could which will likely kill his career. I just hope he gets the help he needs and figures out if this game is for him.

As for the rest of the Dolphins, I don't question why the leaders of the team didn't see anything because Incognito seems to be the leader of the team. And if Incognito is part of your leadership then you're already failing as a franchise. If Jeff Ireland is running the show, your already failing as a franchise. I mean seriously, how does this guy still have a job? A player comes to you, an executive, the 2nd in command of a billion+$ product and your answer to his issue (any fucking issue) is to have a physical altercation with him? Are you fucking serious? Between bad coaching hires, bad drafting, bad free agent signings, asking potential draftees if their mother is a hooker and other ignorant questions this has to be the nail in the coffin. Then the coaches. They wanted Martin to toughen up. Understandable! But you send Richie Incognito of all people to toughen him up? If you're sending Incognito you better have written instructions on how you want it done otherwise it going to be done in the nastiest way possible. How dumb could they be to send Incognito to handle this task? And at the end of the day if you wonder why Incognito is still employed, it's because the Fish know that they are in some ways culpable for what went on with Martin and with the defense of Incognito's poor character running through the Dolphins' locker room don't be shocked if he's back with them soon.

On a personal note the Fish better get their shit together. My better half is a Dolphin fan and a loss to the hated Bucs will lead to a long week!!

 

[MilkSpiller22]

Unfortunately it seems like incognito is a little bit of a victim as well... Not at the same level as martin being the victim, but certainly a victim...

If the team gives him the responsibility to toughen martin up, he will do it the only way he knows how speaking the way he does in the locker room... nobody is going to argue that he did not go overboard in his responsibiltity, but if he doesnt know that martin perceives him as a bully, then isnt he a victim of circumstance?? Is saying racist things without any hatred but with jest still racist?? is he being punished more for the racist remarks??

 

[Wazmankg]

Unfortunately it seems like incognito is a little bit of a victim as well... Not at the same level as martin being the victim, but certainly a victim...

If the team gives him the responsibility to toughen martin up, he will do it the only way he knows how speaking the way he does in the locker room... nobody is going to argue that he did not go overboard in his responsibiltity, but if he doesnt know that martin perceives him as a bully, then isnt he a victim of circumstance?? Is saying racist things without any hatred but with jest still racist?? is he being punished more for the racist remarks??

I think it's the threats of violence and overall tone of the bullying. What makes you think that ?

 

[RoboticDreams]

Unfortunately it seems like incognito is a little bit of a victim as well... Not at the same level as martin being the victim, but certainly a victim...

If the team gives him the responsibility to toughen martin up, he will do it the only way he knows how speaking the way he does in the locker room... nobody is going to argue that he did not go overboard in his responsibiltity, but if he doesnt know that martin perceives him as a bully, then isnt he a victim of circumstance?? Is saying racist things without any hatred but with jest still racist?? is he being punished more for the racist remarks??

I don't think it was said in a racist manner. After what has come to light in the last couple of days, I am sure of it. I think Jonathon Martin felt bullied but never addressed it. If the other guys don't know they are being perceived as bullies by Martin, they have no opportunity in changing their treatment of him.

 

[MilkSpiller22]

I dont doubt that martin was bullied, and i am not condoning being bullied... But is it really incognito's fault if it was his given responsibility to be hard on martin, i dont doubt that he went overboard, but if he didnt know where the line was can he really get into that much trouble??

 

[JDM]

He wasn't bullied. He is a grown ass man.

 

[Judge Fudge]

He wasn't bullied. He is a grown ass man.

Then what was he?

 

[MilkSpiller22]

He wasn't bullied. He is a grown ass man.

So adults can not get bullied... that logic is definitely flawed... The only knock on martin that you can make is that he handled this terribly, and should have handled it better...

 

[broncosmitty]

Who I am here is exactly who I am in reality. I tell things how they are.

No way that's true. You might think so, but it's impossible. Unless you're dishonest about other things. Because there's not a chance in hell a guy talks the way you post for their entire life and never gets punched in the face. Absolutely ZERO chance of that. I have no reason to think you're dishonest JDM, so Im going with you don't realize your real life and on-line personas are in fact different.