Phillies 2021 season thread

[California Creme Puffs]

Nope. This team is once again the Dildoes and they are here to stay. Done. How can you go 8-2, lead the division, and then go into a losing streak against a dogshit team like the D-backs in a run-down stadium the city has desperately trying to sell to some sucker with cash. Geez, these Dildoes are pathetic and they do this every year at about this time in the season. Eff, the lot of them.

Have you ever seen a bigger pack of dildoes in your life, Retro?

 

[Retroram52]

Nope, Cali Creme Puff!

 

[Cedrique]

4 games back already. I guess we don't have to worry about a September collapse if they are out of the race before September even starts......

 

[Cedrique]

You've gotta be fucking kidding me... we're watching this pig slop in 2021 and we don't have a single top 100 prospect?

I think it's about time we acknowledge that Matt Klentak was Braindead 2.0

At some point do we have to just completely gut the farm system and start over? Maybe we pass on the next few quarter billion dollar free agents and just buy Tampa's farm system lock, stock and barrell. (I'm thinking maybe a billion gets it done). Not the players, just the infrastructure. Then maybe we'll be able to develop some players. Or at least stop drafting raw talent out of high school when you know you're not going to develop them. Right now besides a bunch of fringe major leaguers like Roman Quinn, Scott Kingery, Adam Haesley (all injured) the only real players that came up through the system are Hoskins and Nola. And both of them had college experience so didn't need tons of "seasoning".

 

[Cedrique]

I"m still looking for a word to describe what I witnessed this week. As of now, I think it is
ca·tas·tro·phe
an event causing great and often sudden damage or suffering; a disaster.

 

[Cedrique]

I also like
fi·as·co
a thing that is a complete failure, especially in a ludicrous or humiliating way.

 

[California Creme Puffs]

At some point do we have to just completely gut the farm system and start over? Maybe we pass on the next few quarter billion dollar free agents and just buy Tampa's farm system lock, stock and barrell. (I'm thinking maybe a billion gets it done). Not the players, just the infrastructure. Then maybe we'll be able to develop some players. Or at least stop drafting raw talent out of high school when you know you're not going to develop them. Right now besides a bunch of fringe major leaguers like Roman Quinn, Scott Kingery, Adam Haesley (all injured) the only real players that came up through the system are Hoskins and Nola. And both of them had college experience so didn't need tons of "seasoning".

I think you can also throw Eflin in there, right? But yeah, outside of him and Hoskins/Nola you make a good point. That is really pathetic that that is the best we've produced in the last 10 years.

What would you say is your favorite White Album song? I have to go with this one:

 

[California Creme Puffs]

I also like
fi·as·co
a thing that is a complete failure, especially in a ludicrous or humiliating way.

The "ludicrous and humiliating way" makes this one the obvious winner.

 

[Cedrique]

I think you can also throw Eflin in there, right? But yeah, outside of him and Hoskins/Nola you make a good point. That is really pathetic that that is the best we've produced in the last 10 years.

What would you say is your favorite White Album song? I have to go with this one:

I barely remember it but I do kind of like that one. My first thought was "Happiness is a warm gun"

 

[California Creme Puffs]

I barely remember it but I do kind of like that one. My first thought was "Happiness is a warm gun"

That's a good one too. Do you have a firearm of choice that you like to keep on-hand in case Tony or one of his goons show up? I've currently only got a 9mm but I'm gonna take a look at some AR-15s in the next couple of months.

The range I'm a member at is always advertising all of the different courses they offer on a rotation on a flat-screen TV... like "Intro to Concealed-Carry" or "Intro to AR-15" but the one that has always caught me eye is the "Women's Only- Intro To Firearms!" course. Then the other week I see like 25 women of all races and sizes walk out of the classroom on the bottom floor and they're being led by 1 guy up to the "simulation room" upstairs. I was waiting in line to check in and I turn to the guy behind me and go "Boy, they must be really pissed off at their husbands." The guy thought it was funny but somehow I don't think the women would have.

 

[Cedrique]

I think you can also throw Eflin in there, right? But yeah, outside of him and Hoskins/Nola you make a good point. That is really pathetic that that is the best we've produced in the last 10 years.

What would you say is your favorite White Album song? I have to go with this one:

Also there are probably some other pitchers I'm leaving off, like Ranger Suarez but in general it has been pretty bleak. And remember, Mickey Moniak was the number one draft pick in all of baseball so hopefully he gives them at least some kind of production. Some of the players drafted after him were Ian Anderson, who has had some solid starts in the major leagues (in addition to his work with Jethro Tull), Cal Quantrill, a young pitcher with a 2.9 WAR this season, Kyle Lewis, Mariners centerfielder, Gavin Lux, LA SS, Will Smith, LA catcher and Fresh Prince, Bryan Reynolds, killing it with the Pirates, Pete Alonso and Bo Bichette, how the fuck did those guys not get taken til the 2nd round?, Austin Hays, Zac Gallen, Sean Murphy, Aaron Civale, Dustin May, Corbin Burnes, Joey Luchhesi, Shane Bieber, Bobby Dalbec, Cavan Biggio (shit another stud Blue Jay we could have had? Why don't we just start drafting all the sons of former major leaguers?......................

 

[California Creme Puffs]

That's a good one too. Do you have a firearm of choice that you like to keep on-hand in case Tony or one of his goons show up? I've currently only got a 9mm but I'm gonna take a look at some AR-15s in the next couple of months.

The range I'm a member at is always advertising all of the different courses they offer on a rotation on a flat-screen TV... like "Intro to Concealed-Carry" or "Intro to AR-15" but the one that has always caught me eye is the "Women's Only- Intro To Firearms!" course. Then the other week I see like 25 women of all races and sizes walk out of the classroom on the bottom floor and they're being led by 1 guy up to the "simulation room" upstairs. I was waiting in line to check in and I turn to the guy behind me and go "Boy, they must be really pissed off at their husbands." The guy thought it was funny but somehow I don't think the women would have.

Also, I have yet to see a "LGBTQ+" night out at the range but I'm sure it's coming, just give it another 10 years......

 

[California Creme Puffs]

Also there are probably some other pitchers I'm leaving off, like Ranger Suarez but in general it has been pretty bleak. And remember, Mickey Moniak was the number one draft pick in all of baseball so hopefully he gives them at least some kind of production. Some of the players drafted after him were Ian Anderson, who has had some solid starts in the major leagues (in addition to his work with Jethro Tull), Cal Quantrill, a young pitcher with a 2.9 WAR this season, Kyle Lewis, Mariners centerfielder, Gavin Lux, LA SS, Will Smith, LA catcher and Fresh Prince, Bryan Reynolds, killing it with the Pirates, Pete Alonso and Bo Bichette, how the fuck did those guys not get taken til the 2nd round?, Austin Hays, Zac Gallen, Sean Murphy, Aaron Civale, Dustin May, Corbin Burnes, Joey Luchhesi, Shane Bieber, Bobby Dalbec, Cavan Biggio (shit another stud Blue Jay we could have had? Why don't we just start drafting all the sons of former major leaguers?......................

I've pretty much given up on Moniak. Maybe he could be a 5th outfielder for a team that carries 5 outfielders but I'm not expecting anything good from him at this point.

That is a pretty harrowing list that you put together of the passovers and missed opportunities by Braindead & Company (not to be confused with Dead & Company, AKA the Grateful Dead playing with John Mayer, who are playing at CBP tomorrow night at 7:30- I expect to see you there with your Jerry shirt on). Also, you'd think that if we couldn't get Ian Anderson or Will Smith we could have at least gotten one of the members from Deep Purple and maybe Martin Lawrence or Chris Rock.

 

[Cedrique]

That's a good one too. Do you have a firearm of choice that you like to keep on-hand in case Tony or one of his goons show up? I've currently only got a 9mm but I'm gonna take a look at some AR-15s in the next couple of months.

The range I'm a member at is always advertising all of the different courses they offer on a rotation on a flat-screen TV... like "Intro to Concealed-Carry" or "Intro to AR-15" but the one that has always caught me eye is the "Women's Only- Intro To Firearms!" course. Then the other week I see like 25 women of all races and sizes walk out of the classroom on the bottom floor and they're being led by 1 guy up to the "simulation room" upstairs. I was waiting in line to check in and I turn to the guy behind me and go "Boy, they must be really pissed off at their husbands." The guy thought it was funny but somehow I don't think the women would have.

Nah, I got a few hunting rifles that I can stick against the screen door to tell kids to get off my lawn though. But that sounds like a good class to meet women. On the other hand, maybe it's not a great idea.
BTW, the gun in the song is a metaphor

 

[California Creme Puffs]

Nah, I got a few hunting rifles that I can stick against the screen door to tell kids to get off my lawn though. But that sounds like a good class to meet women. On the other hand, maybe it's not a great idea.
BTW, the gun in the song is a metaphor

Haha I'm well aware. But is it a metaphor for doing heroin or having sex? I like to think both

 

[California Creme Puffs]

Nah, I got a few hunting rifles that I can stick against the screen door to tell kids to get off my lawn though. But that sounds like a good class to meet women. On the other hand, maybe it's not a great idea.
BTW, the gun in the song is a metaphor

Did you buy the hunting rifles from Schmitty?

 

[Cedrique]

I've pretty much given up on Moniak. Maybe he could be a 5th outfielder for a team that carries 5 outfielders but I'm not expecting anything good from him at this point.

That is a pretty harrowing list that you put together of the passovers and missed opportunities by Braindead & Company (not to be confused with Dead & Company, AKA the Grateful Dead playing with John Mayer, who are playing at CBP tomorrow night at 7:30- I expect to see you there with your Jerry shirt on). Also, you'd think that if we couldn't get Ian Anderson or Will Smith we could have at least gotten one of the members from Deep Purple and maybe Martin Lawrence or Chris Rock.

yeah, the truth is most of those guys went in the 2nd round or later so I guess everyone missed the boat on them.

 

[Cedrique]

Haha I'm well aware. But is it a metaphor for doing heroin or having sex? I like to think both

maybe it's a metaphor for doing heroin and having sex while holding someone at gunpoint

 

[Cedrique]

oh yeah, I forgot Alec Bohm. Maybe he'll turn it around and change my opinion of our farm system. That is, if he hasn't lost his job to journeyman Ronald Torreyes......

 

[California Creme Puffs]

oh yeah, I forgot Alec Bohm. Maybe he'll turn it around and change my opinion of our farm system. That is, if he hasn't lost his job to journeyman Ronald Torreyes......

I can't believe how many people rag on Hoskins and (while not necessarily giving Bohm a pass) fail to mention Bohm sucking balls. Absolute best-case scenario, Alec Bohm turns into Rhys Hoskins. But a large portion of the fanbase gives Rhys shit for absolutely nothing.