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Horror Movies

Sharkonabicycle

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lol....

Just send in Gordon Ramsey and Pennywise would be gone in no time...

*The Losers all freaking out at the end not knowing what to do and all of the sudden a white jacket and blonde haired figure is shown walking up in the background while Pennywise notices*

Gordon: "I mean seriously, what the fuck, are you thinking? Are ya having a laugh with that clown costume? It's a fuckin' joke...
Pennywise: *roars at Gordon*
Gordon: "Oh what is that, what is it you wanna fight now, eh tough guy? And when the was the last time someone CLEANED this place!?"
Pennywise: "Well, it's not meant to be cle-" *shrinking*
Gordon: "There's roaches on the floor, Pennywise! I can see 4 of them right here ya fuckin' donut! And then you have the audacity, to sit there... and call yourself an eater of worlds? Fuck off..."
Pennywise: "But, I am the eater of worlds...."
Gordon: "If you're calling yourself the eater of worlds, then I'm the fuckin' Pope. I mean at this point it looks like you're eating a giant ball of shit you're calling a world, have I pretty much got that fuckin' right?"
Pennywise: ..... *shrinking down to practically nothing*
Gordon: "Well ya just gonna stand there or answer me!?"
Pennywise: "Well... uh..."
Gordon: "AH PISS OFF!"
*Pennywise explodes*
 
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Nasty_Magician

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Just finished Quiet Place 2, really well done, same as the first one. It's refreshing to see horror movies that just get it. Build up suspense, let the anxiety linger and drive the fear, throw in some jump scares and don't go cartoonishly over the top with CGI.
 

returnofjakedog

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Ghost Story/Circle of Fear (1972)-
(Here is a full playlist of all the episodes):


An early 70s tv anthology along the lines of Night Gallery, which was popular at the time.
Produced by schlockmaster William Castle, Ghost Story uses a standard format of unrelated tales being introduced and closed by a host. The problem was that the host is an uncharismatic rich fat guy who seems quite out of place. Because of this the show was rebranded to Circle of Fear at midseason(!) where they just dropped the host and replaced with a much cooler intro and theme song:
However it wasn't enough to save it and NBC dropped it after 1 season.

The episodes themselves vary a bit in quality, but they are all stylistically similar as obviously they used the same crews, techniques, etc during production. They are littered with many notable actors from the time such as Karen Black, Rory Calhoun, Janet Leigh, Martin Sheen, and many others including appearances by very young Jodie Foster and Leif Garrett.

Professionally shot, edited, directed,etc, the series gets a quite respectable 7.6 on IMDB. However I find that a bit strong as the extended run times of 50 minutes plus cause many episodes to drag a bit and repeat themes and actions to fill out what would be better as a 30 minute excursion.

My fav episodes were probably House of Evil, and Doorway to Death, but generally speaking all of the episodes range from watchable to good.

I'll give it a 6.5 to 7 range with the worst episodes at about a 5, and the best in the 8 range. Worth a watch for fans of classic tv anthology series.

If they would have started the series with the midseason replacement intro instead of the kinda boring host, and cut 10 minutes of slow pacing and redundancy, it might have survived for a few more seasons.
 

Sharkonabicycle

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Just finished Quiet Place 2, really well done, same as the first one. It's refreshing to see horror movies that just get it. Build up suspense, let the anxiety linger and drive the fear, throw in some jump scares and don't go cartoonishly over the top with CGI.

I just couldn't get into that movie let alone the 1st, I'm sorry.

Too many plotholes that just didn't make sense. You're telling me, that these things wiped out all the military and not once someone was like, "Well let's see they solely rely on sound... surely there must be some ultra sensitive frequency that affects them. And are you telling me an LAR .50 cal Grizzly (civilians can own these) can't get through their armor but once they open it a 12 gauge works fine? Give me a fuckin' break.

Humans have been using sound for years. We're experts at manipulating it. From throwing a rock to weaponizing it with LRADs, etc. And then this couple lives on a farm, is able to grow/harvest food and corn (that's not a QUIET task) and the aliens just leave them alone?

And these things are SO sensitive to sound knocking over a chess piece is a thing. What happens when you rip a giant ass fart in your sleep (happens), or have explosive diarrhea suddenly and light up a bathroom... Sneezing, coughing fits, there's some other things where pain is pretty unavoidable like hmm I dunno... PREGNANCY!? But selfish Mom needs another crotch fruit because they fucked up with the other son while she neglects her daughter and blames her for the son's loss by distancing herself. F off. Emily Blunt's character was such a selfish bitch in that movie it drove me nuts.

There was a film that did Quiet Place SOOOOOO much better. Tremors. Same EXACT concept, creature hunts by vibrations (generally a result of things that are noisy). The worms are EASILY dealt with given modern technology but the problem is they are isolated and explain that there's no way out of town because the roads are out and they don't know when the next repair vehicle will be sent while under siege from these things. The worms are recently discovered (assumed to have hibernated and awoken) and quickly/swiftly attack and given even our most PRIMITAVE manipulation of sound (a fuckin' rock) are defeated.

For a B action flick in the early 90s, Tremors does a FAR better and more practical/believable job. Quiet Place had some A list actors and was hyped up via advertising and the whole 'pregnancy scene'... the plot itself was laughable, the aliens were boring and predictable. Seriously, the MINUTE the film showed the deaf girl I was like, "Oh... she'll be the one that 'saves the day'". I can easily see the dorks in Hollyweird being like, "OOOH you know what would be cool!? The creatures that hunt on sound, are beaten by a person who CAN'T HEAR!" I can easily imagine them patting each other on the back and jacking off moments afterwards for that 'great one.'

If you can't already tell I hate that franchise. 4/10 - decent effects/visuals, OKAY concept - executed horribly.
 

Nasty_Magician

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I just couldn't get into that movie let alone the 1st, I'm sorry.

Too many plotholes that just didn't make sense. You're telling me, that these things wiped out all the military and not once someone was like, "Well let's see they solely rely on sound... surely there must be some ultra sensitive frequency that affects them. And are you telling me an LAR .50 cal Grizzly (civilians can own these) can't get through their armor but once they open it a 12 gauge works fine? Give me a fuckin' break.

Humans have been using sound for years. We're experts at manipulating it. From throwing a rock to weaponizing it with LRADs, etc. And then this couple lives on a farm, is able to grow/harvest food and corn (that's not a QUIET task) and the aliens just leave them alone?

And these things are SO sensitive to sound knocking over a chess piece is a thing. What happens when you rip a giant ass fart in your sleep (happens), or have explosive diarrhea suddenly and light up a bathroom... Sneezing, coughing fits, there's some other things where pain is pretty unavoidable like hmm I dunno... PREGNANCY!? But selfish Mom needs another crotch fruit because they fucked up with the other son while she neglects her daughter and blames her for the son's loss by distancing herself. F off. Emily Blunt's character was such a selfish bitch in that movie it drove me nuts.

There was a film that did Quiet Place SOOOOOO much better. Tremors. Same EXACT concept, creature hunts by vibrations (generally a result of things that are noisy). The worms are EASILY dealt with given modern technology but the problem is they are isolated and explain that there's no way out of town because the roads are out and they don't know when the next repair vehicle will be sent while under siege from these things. The worms are recently discovered (assumed to have hibernated and awoken) and quickly/swiftly attack and given even our most PRIMITAVE manipulation of sound (a fuckin' rock) are defeated.

For a B action flick in the early 90s, Tremors does a FAR better and more practical/believable job. Quiet Place had some A list actors and was hyped up via advertising and the whole 'pregnancy scene'... the plot itself was laughable, the aliens were boring and predictable. Seriously, the MINUTE the film showed the deaf girl I was like, "Oh... she'll be the one that 'saves the day'". I can easily see the dorks in Hollyweird being like, "OOOH you know what would be cool!? The creatures that hunt on sound, are beaten by a person who CAN'T HEAR!" I can easily imagine them patting each other on the back and jacking off moments afterwards for that 'great one.'

If you can't already tell I hate that franchise. 4/10 - decent effects/visuals, OKAY concept - executed horribly.

Haha, lot's of plot holes, like how did they target/get to Earth? Birds and insects are loud as fuck, are they going after them? Does thunder have them spinning in circles? What about leaves rustling? They don't like water and don't appear to be eating people what exactly was their goal?
 

Blackshirts BLVD

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Saw the new Dr Strange movie yesterday. There are quite a few solid horror-esque scenes. The movie wasn't great lol, but it was a nice surprise to see a different style, but it still seemed to fit into the MCU style as well.
 

Sparhawk

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Just finished Quiet Place 2, really well done, same as the first one. It's refreshing to see horror movies that just get it. Build up suspense, let the anxiety linger and drive the fear, throw in some jump scares and don't go cartoonishly over the top with CGI.

I just couldn't get into that movie let alone the 1st, I'm sorry.

Too many plotholes that just didn't make sense. You're telling me, that these things wiped out all the military and not once someone was like, "Well let's see they solely rely on sound... surely there must be some ultra sensitive frequency that affects them. And are you telling me an LAR .50 cal Grizzly (civilians can own these) can't get through their armor but once they open it a 12 gauge works fine? Give me a fuckin' break.

Humans have been using sound for years. We're experts at manipulating it. From throwing a rock to weaponizing it with LRADs, etc. And then this couple lives on a farm, is able to grow/harvest food and corn (that's not a QUIET task) and the aliens just leave them alone?

And these things are SO sensitive to sound knocking over a chess piece is a thing. What happens when you rip a giant ass fart in your sleep (happens), or have explosive diarrhea suddenly and light up a bathroom... Sneezing, coughing fits, there's some other things where pain is pretty unavoidable like hmm I dunno... PREGNANCY!? But selfish Mom needs another crotch fruit because they fucked up with the other son while she neglects her daughter and blames her for the son's loss by distancing herself. F off. Emily Blunt's character was such a selfish bitch in that movie it drove me nuts.

There was a film that did Quiet Place SOOOOOO much better. Tremors. Same EXACT concept, creature hunts by vibrations (generally a result of things that are noisy). The worms are EASILY dealt with given modern technology but the problem is they are isolated and explain that there's no way out of town because the roads are out and they don't know when the next repair vehicle will be sent while under siege from these things. The worms are recently discovered (assumed to have hibernated and awoken) and quickly/swiftly attack and given even our most PRIMITAVE manipulation of sound (a fuckin' rock) are defeated.

For a B action flick in the early 90s, Tremors does a FAR better and more practical/believable job. Quiet Place had some A list actors and was hyped up via advertising and the whole 'pregnancy scene'... the plot itself was laughable, the aliens were boring and predictable. Seriously, the MINUTE the film showed the deaf girl I was like, "Oh... she'll be the one that 'saves the day'". I can easily see the dorks in Hollyweird being like, "OOOH you know what would be cool!? The creatures that hunt on sound, are beaten by a person who CAN'T HEAR!" I can easily imagine them patting each other on the back and jacking off moments afterwards for that 'great one.'

If you can't already tell I hate that franchise. 4/10 - decent effects/visuals, OKAY concept - executed horribly.
As great of an actor as Cillian Murphy is, I just cannot think of him as a hillbilly.

I mean, not with those cheekbones.....
 

returnofjakedog

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Alright. I've avoided it for awhile, but here is another old movie dump:

The Curse (1987)-
Yet another adaptation of Lovecraft's The Color Out of Space, this one starring Wil Wheaton.
A boy is stuck on a farm after his father dies and his mother is forced to re-marry due to finances. Unfortunately his new step-dad is a horribly abusive religious fanatic with large bully son.
One night a big metorite comes crashing to the ground during an intense electrical storm. Being that I've reviewed about 4 other movie versions of this tale, I assume we all know what happens: the crops start growing huge but are rotten or taste funny, as well as the water going bad. Also the people start mutating and going violently crazy.
A decent but flawed flick that has some cool fxs, and some (not all) decent acting but it suffers pacing issues and questionable dialogue. Claude Akins does a good job as the asshole dad, but the rest of the cast is kinda nondescript. The score is quite good.
Weirdly, the actual color that is a big part of the original story is totally left out here.
Also of note is that it was directed by actor David Keith. He only directed 2 other times.
I'll go 5.5 to 6 outta 10.

When a Stranger Calls (1979)-

We all know the drill: A babysitter (Carol Kane) receives a bunch of creepy, threatening phone calls. Eventually the police trace the calls to inside the house. The intruder is captured, but the kids are dead.
Fast forward 7 years and the killer has escaped a mental institution. He harasses women in bars, and kills a couple folks. Eventually he goes after Carol again, and the original detective from his case (Charles Durning) works to track him down.
This genre of "man in (or near) the house, calling on the phone" has been done dozens of times now, and it wasn't even new in '79 (the original Black Christmas was '73 I believe) but the do a decent job with a threadbare storyline. Everything is professionally produced. Durning, Kane, and Tony Beckley (the killer) all do well in their roles. The story flows ok, but it does jump around a bit.
The downside would be is that there is limited violence and is basically bloodless. Also the character development is limited.
This one came in average with critics but made big box office (compared to budget). The opening 20 minutes are said to be the direct influence for the Scream opening with Drew Barrymore.
I'll go 6 outta 10. Well done for a thin plot.

Castle Freak (2020)-

Ok, not an old one. I was looking for the 1995 original directed by Stuart Gordon, and starring the brilliant Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton but settled for this one.

A blind lady inherits a castle in Albania from her birth mother whom she never met. Her boyfriend (and eventually some other friends) join her and they start trying to liquidate the castle's stuff only to find the locals consider it cursed. They then start getting knocked off by a demonic chick who lives in the castle walls. Eventually the backstory of demonic prophecy comes out and the stakes are raised.
Yet another Lovecraft adaptation, I knew exactually what I was in for when I saw it was a Charles Band and Fangora production: questionable acting and dialogue, unlikable characters, blended in with some fun over the top gore and weirdness. The rubber suit antagonist is pretty hilarious.
I'll go about a 4.5 to 5 outta 10 range, mostly for the slime and blood.
I'm sure the original is better. I'll need to track it down.

Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)-
A small 18th century British village is beset by evil when not-Roger Daltrey uncovers a grusome skull while plowing a field. Many of the youth of the village become possessed, and are lead by satanic hottie Angel in satanic rituals and acts of violence and deceit. People start dying, and some grow statanic fur and claws. The local judge and some others band together to try and stop the evil from escalating.
Some interesting choices, such as keeping dialogue in 18th century English. They did a very good job of keeping things period and the character's behaviors fit pretty well.
Apparently Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee were targeted to star in this movie but were deemed too expensive. Either or both could have possibly boosted this one up a level in overall quality.
I'll go 5.5 to 6 outta 10 range. Kinda slogs along but it does have a decent story with mostly good execution. Some acting is a bit questionable but I guess that is to be expected from the mostly young cast.
 

Chef99

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Been a bit MIA over here, I may have missed a post on this.

Heard great things about this movie; getting ready to watch this afternoon.

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returnofjakedog

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Some more oldie stuff, starting out with a couple of Corman smaller budget flicks:
The Undead (1957)-
A rogue psychiatrist and his mentor use extended hypnosis to manifest a prostitute's conciousness in her former life hundreds of years ago. There she gets entangled in witch trials, and evil forces conspire.
An interesting concept that is actually fleshed out pretty well.
The acting ranges from ok to not great, but no one is really horrible. Also they manage to bring a sense of believability to the scenerios despite the limited budget.
Some of the interactions with the Satan character, and various minions are a bit ridiculous. A couple of other negatives would be some of the dialogue, and pacing/jumping around from scene to scene so often.
Roger Corman directed this one, and did a decent job for the time period and only a 70k budget.
Apparently this was on MST3K at some point. Personally I'm not clear as to why that is, as it doesn't fall to that level imo.
5 to 5.5 outta 10 range.

The Masque of the Red Death (1964)-

Vincent Price stars in this Edgar Allen Poe adaptation as an evil prince who openly worships Satan, and treats his constituents with utter cruelty and contempt. When he isn't fucking with the peasants, he throws lavish debauched parties for his spoiled rich friends while they all hide in his castle to try to avoid a plague that is sweeping through the area.
He kidnaps a girl and tries to bring her over to the darkside, but she resists despite his threats and acts.
This is one of the follow ups to Corman's and Price's (The Fall of) the House of Usher. They filmed 8 Poe adaptations from 1960-64.
By Corman's standards it appeared to be a big budget, but it was filmed in England and heavily subsidized by a British film tax credit, and they also used the extensive castle sets left over from the epic historical drama Beckett (Peter O'Toole and Richard Burton starred in that one). Despite this Corman still wasn't happy because it took a full 5 weeks to film due to the English crews being "slow" (he had planned for 3 weeks)!

The lavish sets are excellent. Vincent Price chews up the scenery and a few others do excellent jobs (such as Patrick Magee, and Hazel Court). The story is solid. The look of it all with all of the vibrant colors is pretty cool
On the somewhat negative, the story flow is slow and a bit longish with the repeating of Price acting like a privileged evil dick over and over. Some the constant party scenes also become a bit repetitive as well as over the top.
While most of the top leads do a good job, I found Jane Asher who played the kidnapped peasant girl to come off as a bit vacuous and sometimes a little annoying. The most interesting part of her inclusion is that she had just started dating a little known but rising musician named Paul McCartney who visited the set. She and Paul stayed together through '68.

All in all, not a bad watch. I'll go about 6.5 to 7 outta 10 range. From recent Price reviews I have done here I prefer The Witchfinder General but this one is still decent.

The Mephisto Waltz (1971)-

A failed musical prodigy (Alan Alda) now works as a journalist. When he interviews a grumpy old master pianist Duncan Ely who is dying, Ely notices Alda's "perfect" hands and befriends him. As they become closer Alda starts behaving more like Ely and also becomes much, much improved on the piano. Also Ely's daughter starts cozying up to Alda, much to the displeasure of Alda's wife, played by '70s hottie Jacqueline Bisset.
At some point the focus shifts to Bisset as she investigates what is happening. Things escalate, Alan Alda changes from nice guy to asshole, dogs terrorize Bisset, people die, etc until an unexpected and kinda cool conclusion is reached.

A well shot and executed film. It has a solid story and generally builds well. The cast is very good, though I must admit it is a bit strange to see Alda playing a serious and (eventually) villainous role right before MASH started up. Some interesting camera work.
It does drag a bit at times, but not too badly.
I liked it. I'll go 7 to 7.5 outta 10 range. I probably rate it a bit higher than most as Alda's performance was criticized but I thought he was ok.

Corruption (1968)-

Peter Cushing stars as a brilliant surgeon with a much younger model fiancee. When he tries to get her to leave a swinging '60s party, he gets into a scuffle with a sleazy photographer which leads to a big light falling on the fiancee and burning her face. He manages to repair most of her visage, but not enough for her to resume her modeling career due to scarring. He then develops a procedure involving fresh pituitary glands and laser surgery that fully restores her face, but it is only temporary and needs to be redone periodically. The couple retreats to an isolated costal house where they lure in young ladies to harvest their pituitarys, but one young lady they meet is actually part of a gang looking to rob whomever is around.

This one has a good story and decent production values. Cushing is good as the guilt ridden doctor. But it does get pretty weird as things spiral out in the last third or so of the movie. The gang that confronts them plays like a cross between the Droogs from A Clockwork Orange, and Benny Hill sketch, to both the films detriment and benefit somehow. Also a laser rig just goes completely out of control and creates bloody havoc for some reason.
Good acting is mixed in with some bad. The film's shifts cause some tonal inconsistencies, which leads to a weirdness.
Overall, it was an interesting watch. I'll go 6 to 6.5 outta 10 range.
 

returnofjakedog

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The Stepford Wives (1975)-

So this one is considered to be a bit of a classic, but I'm not 100% sure if it is even a horror movie.

Katharine Ross, who was a top tier actress for a couple of years around this time, stars as a kinda kept wife that moves to a very affluent and seemingly perfect town with her upwardly mobile husband. She notices that something seems off, particularly with the other wives who are very subservient to their husbands. Over a very long time (movie run time) her and her sidekick slowly uncover that some weird shit is happening as women seem to lose their personalities and become literal automatons.

I remember watching this one as a kid way back in the day and not knowing what to feel about it, and I kinda still feel that way. The production values are quite good. It is professionally shot, acting is generally decent to good. The story is a good one, but rather threadbare and they really drag it out.
The big issue for me is that it is a really, really slow burn. They do slowly build up to interesting reveals and shocking conclusions, but getting there is often a slog as they have many long scenes with rather boring dialogue that goes nowhere. Despite this these scenes are necessary in the long run but they are tough to sit through.

I'll go 5.5 to 6 outta 10 range. Everything is generally solid to good but the pacing and extended dialogue make it hard to watch.

Despite this it is considered a classic of feminist horror. There apparently were couple of sequels that I never saw. Also they did a big budget remake in 2004 with Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Christopher Walken, and Bette Midler for $90 million (just under $150 million in today's dollars). Sadly they went the comedic route which made 90% of the social commentary moot, and it failed on all levels (critics, box office, audiences, etc). I remember hating it.

Probably the most important part of this movies legacy is that it led to Jordan Peele's Us, which is essentially a remake with racism switched out for the misogyny/feminist aspects. While I am not a huge fan of Us I do think it is a better movie overall than this one.

Lastly, apparently there was a negative backlash from feminist groups at the time which I find very strange since that is the whole concept the movie is promoting! Weird.
 
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