returnofjakedog
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Ok.....time to slog through some average to crap level stuff:
Secret Window (2004)-
A writer (Depp) is harassed by a crazed man (John Turturro) who claims Depp stole his story. Concerns escalate. Threats are made, and carried out. Things spiral out of control.
A decent flick. I saw it before and remember thinking it was ok to good. After watching it again now, I'm leaning more into the ok verdict.
It has some budget, and a competent cast and crew. The acting is decent with the leads being good. All aspects are generally well done.......with the possible exception of the story itself. The direction, acting, cinematography, etc are all solid.
I am a huge Stephen King fan, but this one falls into a self-indulgent trap that he often has trouble avoiding. I understand writing what you know but the 200th story from King where the main antagonist/protagonist professional writer is more than a bit redundant. Still, that isn't really the issue here as it is the interactions between Depp and Shooter (Turturro) that comes off as odd. It does become apparent as to why later, but it still rings a bit hollow imo.
6.5ish outta 10. A decent enough flick but not top notch King.
Escape Room (2017)-
So I thought this one was talked about before on these boards, and to generally positive reviews, but that wasn't this movie. This is the 2017 Escape Room, and not the more popular 2019 movie. In fact it isn't the other 2017 Escape Room, nor the 2018, 2020, 2022, etc movie. Nor is it any of the dozen other similarly titled movies from these recent years.
Anyways, decently shot, scored, etc. It looks and feels professional enough. The acting ranges from ok to not great though. The story is a Saw rip off. The characters are all unlikable douchebags, which is a problem.
On the plus side, there are some decent fxs. There is some skin melting stuff that is pretty fun. Also, the obvious twist isn't so it does avoid that troupe but fails on the follow up.
The story goes nowhere, and you dislike everyone.
4.5 outta 10 area from myself.
Solstice (2007)-
A bunch of teens travel to a vacation mansion somewhere down south for some party time after one of their group had committed suicide. The lead chick is then haunted by an unknown entity that is escalating the scares and violence. Things progress as expected.......but there is a twist.
Exactly what you'd expect from an early 2000s PG-13 movie starring the likes of Shawn Ashmore and Amanda Seyfried. It is done well enough, but it has been sanitized and intentionally spreads on the era's teen appeal.
It does have solid overall production in most aspects so it isn't bad but in the big picture they mostly squander a decent story.
Apparently it was a remake of a better Danish film.
Potential, but comes up a bit short, and slow moving. Also, it wastes R. Lee Emory.
I dunno, 5.5 outta 10 area?
Blood and Chocolate (2007)-
A group of werewolves rule the nights in Bucharest, but the young hottie werewolf chick who is betrothed to the pack leader falls for a young artist instead.
Much like the first 3 movies above there was some money behind the production so it looks, sounds, and feels professional enough. But the downfall is that this is straight up Twilight for European werewolves.
Shit story. Horrible sparkly transformations that try to copy the sparkly vampire Twilight stuff. Also the chocolate part of the title has nothing to do with anything.
4 to 4.5 outta 10 range for the professionally shot and edited stuff. It would be closer to 3.5 for the story, dialogue, and pandering to teenage girls aspects. Glad that it failed financially to help kill this type of crap.
......but still better than.....
Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis (2005)-
I love the original RotLD, and some of the follow ups are decent, but this one sucks. It feels like it was slammed together on a limited budget by people who just didn't give a shit.
Most everything is bad. Bad story, bad direction, bad editing, bad acting all around. Some ok fxs mixed in with mediocre.
If they removed the Trioxin aspect, and the RotLD title it would be another completely forgotten low budget zombie shitfest.
2.5 to 3 outta 10 range. Avoid.
Secret Window (2004)-
A writer (Depp) is harassed by a crazed man (John Turturro) who claims Depp stole his story. Concerns escalate. Threats are made, and carried out. Things spiral out of control.
A decent flick. I saw it before and remember thinking it was ok to good. After watching it again now, I'm leaning more into the ok verdict.
It has some budget, and a competent cast and crew. The acting is decent with the leads being good. All aspects are generally well done.......with the possible exception of the story itself. The direction, acting, cinematography, etc are all solid.
I am a huge Stephen King fan, but this one falls into a self-indulgent trap that he often has trouble avoiding. I understand writing what you know but the 200th story from King where the main antagonist/protagonist professional writer is more than a bit redundant. Still, that isn't really the issue here as it is the interactions between Depp and Shooter (Turturro) that comes off as odd. It does become apparent as to why later, but it still rings a bit hollow imo.
6.5ish outta 10. A decent enough flick but not top notch King.
Escape Room (2017)-
So I thought this one was talked about before on these boards, and to generally positive reviews, but that wasn't this movie. This is the 2017 Escape Room, and not the more popular 2019 movie. In fact it isn't the other 2017 Escape Room, nor the 2018, 2020, 2022, etc movie. Nor is it any of the dozen other similarly titled movies from these recent years.
Anyways, decently shot, scored, etc. It looks and feels professional enough. The acting ranges from ok to not great though. The story is a Saw rip off. The characters are all unlikable douchebags, which is a problem.
On the plus side, there are some decent fxs. There is some skin melting stuff that is pretty fun. Also, the obvious twist isn't so it does avoid that troupe but fails on the follow up.
The story goes nowhere, and you dislike everyone.
4.5 outta 10 area from myself.
Solstice (2007)-
A bunch of teens travel to a vacation mansion somewhere down south for some party time after one of their group had committed suicide. The lead chick is then haunted by an unknown entity that is escalating the scares and violence. Things progress as expected.......but there is a twist.
Exactly what you'd expect from an early 2000s PG-13 movie starring the likes of Shawn Ashmore and Amanda Seyfried. It is done well enough, but it has been sanitized and intentionally spreads on the era's teen appeal.
It does have solid overall production in most aspects so it isn't bad but in the big picture they mostly squander a decent story.
Apparently it was a remake of a better Danish film.
Potential, but comes up a bit short, and slow moving. Also, it wastes R. Lee Emory.
I dunno, 5.5 outta 10 area?
Blood and Chocolate (2007)-
A group of werewolves rule the nights in Bucharest, but the young hottie werewolf chick who is betrothed to the pack leader falls for a young artist instead.
Much like the first 3 movies above there was some money behind the production so it looks, sounds, and feels professional enough. But the downfall is that this is straight up Twilight for European werewolves.
Shit story. Horrible sparkly transformations that try to copy the sparkly vampire Twilight stuff. Also the chocolate part of the title has nothing to do with anything.
4 to 4.5 outta 10 range for the professionally shot and edited stuff. It would be closer to 3.5 for the story, dialogue, and pandering to teenage girls aspects. Glad that it failed financially to help kill this type of crap.
......but still better than.....
Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis (2005)-
I love the original RotLD, and some of the follow ups are decent, but this one sucks. It feels like it was slammed together on a limited budget by people who just didn't give a shit.
Most everything is bad. Bad story, bad direction, bad editing, bad acting all around. Some ok fxs mixed in with mediocre.
If they removed the Trioxin aspect, and the RotLD title it would be another completely forgotten low budget zombie shitfest.
2.5 to 3 outta 10 range. Avoid.
