Horror Movies

[Sharkonabicycle]

Rings (2017)


I'm not sure if it was "too little too late" or a classic case of overexposure (maybe a combo?) but this film just didn't do it for me. To keep with the storyline the writers dove into Samara's backstory a little deeper, and as is usually the case, the more you take away the mystery about it the less scary it becomes. At this point I think we have the full comprehensive autobiography so each time she made an appearance I didn't remotely find her to be scary. Also noticed that all of the style of the original film is gone too. Perhaps because of yet another director change (made me long for Gore Verbinski). This new film had a feel like any other nondescript teen horror flick chalked full of plot holes. Generic, cliché, & unscary. And of course, loaded with jumpscares that had ear-deafening bursts of score. The entire movie came off as a Hollywood cash grab that tried to ride the coattails of its predecessor. The only part I found to be remotely genuine was all the cgi/fx (makeup mainly). Those faces certainly lived up to the originals. Some of the death sequences were fairly creative too, however unthrilling they were. Maybe this film is best viewed in sequence with those predecessor's to establish a better mood? Whatever the case, I wouldn't recommend this film. Oh and spoiler alert, of course they had to leave this one open for yet another sequel... But you know that already, didn't you? If this latest installment is any indication, I'm not holding out much hope for the future of this movie series.

Cash grab that should have never been produced... 5/10

The Ring (both Japan and USA) might have been one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. REALLY? We watch a dumb tape and some unidentified chick comes crawling out of the TV!? NO ID, no record. Dude, if some chick ruins my TV and spills water all over the floor you best believe she's getting pinned up against the wall and butt ****ed. I know that sounds crass, but hey man, SHE set the tone/scene.

I watched both movies and pulled out my dick 3x and hit the phone to Jeopardy while whacking off, it was THAT boring.

The Ring was one of those Japanese movies that was meh but everyone loves it because it's Japanese. The US version was just popular because it was an excuse for every Jr. High/High School male in US history to get laid... and God willing that's why we have a population problem today. FUCK the Ring. FUCK that stupid TV and dumb chick that crawled out... if it was a scene in my condo I WOULD be the horror villian. Stupid well dwelling dumbass bitch.

FUCK all of you that liked the Ring. I hope you rot in hell.

Alright everyone calm down, just calm down. It's fine now.

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

The Ring (both Japan and USA) might have been one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. REALLY? We watch a dumb tape and some unidentified chick comes crawling out of the TV!? NO ID, no record. Dude, if some chick ruins my TV and spills water all over the floor you best believe she's getting pinned up against the wall and butt ****ed. I know that sounds crass, but hey man, SHE set the tone/scene.

I watched both movies and pulled out my dick 3x and hit the phone to Jeopardy while whacking off, it was THAT boring.

The Ring was one of those Japanese movies that was meh but everyone loves it because it's Japanese. The US version was just popular because it was an excuse for every Jr. High/High School male in US history to get laid... and God willing that's why we have a population problem today. FUCK the Ring. FUCK that stupid TV and dumb chick that crawled out... if it was a scene in my condo I WOULD be the horror villian. Stupid well dwelling dumbass bitch.

FUCK all of you that liked the Ring. I hope you rot in hell.

Alright everyone calm down, just calm down. It's fine now.

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

Exactly. Voice of fuckin' reason FaCe. Thanks.

 

[DJ Fieri]

Howdy all.

 

[DJ Fieri]

I haven't seen any good (or bad for that matter) Horror movies lately.

 

[Chef99]

Whaaaa? You guys see this?

M. Night Shyamalan Unveils ‘Split’/’Unbreakable’ Sequel Starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson

@Chef99 @B_dub @jakedog56 @Taddy Mason

Yeah, I'd heard about it awhile back...really didn't know how to take it. But if it's got my boy Samuel in it, I'm there!

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Nailbiter (2013)


Gave this one a go after @Chef99 gave it a decent rec. It wasn't until the family reached the bunker & the girl got bit when I realized that I had seen this one before. Must have been on a drinking night because I had almost zero recollection of it other than I knew I had seen it. The wife & I still proceeded with it, wine in hand. This was a pretty cool idea for a horror film. It immediately creates isolation, and presents us with a mysterious creature which puts a small group in survival mode. The setting, a basement cellar, was simple yet perfect for the story. I liked the feeling of helplessness it presented with being so close to salvation (the highway), yet so far. The creature makeup/fx were decent enough, but thankfully we only see the creature(s) in glances so it all works to keep the mystery. The acting was average to good. The story was a little farfetched, but it was still pretty well executed. It may have a few negatives but the positives all work well for the film budget. Don't expect brilliance by any means, but it wasn't a bad watch.

Decent low-budget survival horror... 6/10

 

[jakedog56]

Whaaaa? You guys see this?

M. Night Shyamalan Unveils ‘Split’/’Unbreakable’ Sequel Starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson

@Chef99 @B_dub @jakedog56 @Taddy Mason

Hopefully Chef has seen it by now. He said he is a huge Unbreakable fan so I didn't want to ruin the surprise!

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Hopefully Chef has seen it by now. He said he is a huge Unbreakable fan so I didn't want to ruin the surprise!

Yeah, I'd heard about it awhile back...really didn't know how to take it. But if it's got my boy Samuel in it, I'm there!

He seems to be well aware of all the happenings with Samuel L Jackson...

 

[Chef99]

He seems to be well aware of all the happenings with Samuel L Jackson...

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

One of my favorite Chappelle Show skits ever.

"I'll have a Sam Adams"
"I'll have a Sam Jackson"
"You know something... I'll have a Sam Jackson too"
"MMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM BITCH!"

 

[R.J. MacReady]

Beyond the Walls

First, I don't know why the movies I recommend always seem to have subtitles. (French ..it's pretty easy on the ears) And it's not a movie but a series.

I'm only 2 episodes in but it's pretty damn good. Real creep factor.

It kinda has a "As Above, So Below" feeling to it but maybe my brain is just fucking with me because it's another movie shot in France.

Note: ...This is a shudder exclusive. Don't know if there is another way to watch it.





.

 

[Taddy Mason]

Haven't seen too much recently. Laptop died the other day so my only options at the moment are Amazon Prime or Netflix. Did see Get Out before the laptop kicked it.

Get Out - I enjoyed it. I didn't really read any reviews or look into what it was about before seeing it, so I don't know if anyone anywhere felt like this, but it reminded me a bit of the skeleton key. In the sense that I think with both the scariest idea to me in those movies was the sense of paralysis/being trapped outside of yourself be it hypnosis/transference? or hoodoo.

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things - Alan Hormsby (he later wrote My Bodyguard and The Substitute) hams it up in this early 70s camp zombie/satanic ritual movie.

Southbound - I know it was about 5 connected stories, but I can only recall 2 of them. Probably because I spent more of the latter portion trying to figure out where I knew Hannah Marks from. Not a bad watch.

 

[jakedog56]

I watched Southbound the other day.

Since I am actually posting from my pc instead of my phone for a change I will actually post a preview for once!


5 stories all connected by a desolate stretch of highway.

Positives:
*All of the stories are fairly decent. No real misses in the lot as far as the storylines went.
*Production values were ok. FXs had some budget. The creatures in the first and last parts were pretty cool.
*Overall, the acting was pretty good.

Negatives:
*Tends to meander from one story to the next without providing a solid conclusion for every tale.
*Kind of related to the point above: I thought that 3 of the stories were fleshed out well, but 2 of them needed more background/conclusion/follow through.
*Not really scary at any point IMO. More relying on blood and guts horror than developing a creepy or scary vibe.

Done by the V/H/S guys. It feels like a cross between '70s horror and the Twightlight Zone, only with more blood and guts.

Not spectacular, but solid. I'd give it a 6.5 out of 10

Did a full review on it awhile back.

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Morgan (2016)


This movie is more of a sci-fi thriller than horror, but it still fits into this thread. It was essentially a more violent & action-packed version of Ex Machina. Felt more like The Machine (2013) but with a larger budget. There's probably quite a few movies that could be listed of relevance, but that just goes to say that this movie was far from original. From a director standpoint (Luke Scott), the cinematography in this movie was superb. Luke is very much like his father, Ridley Scott, with his attention to detail with capturing a movie. Very good atmospheric feel & look to the film. Good use of grey scaling with the lighting to darken the movie. The score was good & fitting for the futuristic setting. The acting was pretty good, even if I thought some of the characters weren't very well thought-out. Anya Taylor-Joy had a rock-solid performance. As far as CGI/fx go, they were somewhat limited by way of filming styles, but they were really good. The story is where I found most of the film's problems. Everything else is good & maybe even great aside from the story. The overall idea was ok, but some of the logical mistakes & plot holes were troublesome for me. At various points the characters say & do things that confuse you, all because they are "professionals," which came off as flawed writing. Basically it felt like some moments the director did not want you to question something so they swept it under the rug. Lots of questionable behaviors from the characters. And the final fight scene had some seriously flawed logic. Overall I enjoyed the movie, issues aside. Great production values, decent suspense, and it was entertaining from start to finish.

Decent sci-fi thriller... 7/10

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

COMING SOON!

It Comes At Night (2017)
Release Date: June 9th
Synopsis: Secure within a desolate home as an unnatural threat terrorizes the world, a man has established a tenuous domestic order with his wife and son, but this will soon be put to test when a desperate young family arrives seeking refuge.

47 Meters Down (2017)
Release Date: June 23rd
Synopsis: Two sisters vacationing in Mexico are trapped in a shark cage at the bottom of the ocean. With less than an hour of oxygen left and great white sharks circling nearby, they must fight to survive.

Amityville: The Awakening (2017)
Release Date: June 30th
Synopsis: A single mother moves her three children into a haunted house, unaware of its bloody history.

Wish Upon (2017)
Release Date: June 30th
Synopsis: A teenage girl discovers a box that carries magic powers and a deadly price for using them.

Polaroid (2017)
No trailer yet, but here's the trailer for the horror short film that its based on:
Release Date: August 25th
Synopsis: Polaroid is styled in the vein of The Ring and Final Destination and centers on a high school loner, Bird Fitcher, who stumbles upon a vintage Polaroid camera. Bird soon learns that the camera houses a terrible secret: whoever has their picture taken by it meets a tragic and violent end. The girl and her friends must survive one more night as they race to solve the mystery of the haunted Polaroid before it kills them all.

 

[jakedog56]

Rewatched a couple classics recently!

From Beyond


Cult horror legend Jeffrey Combs stars in this Lovecraft based tale about a doctor who makes a machine that creates a frequency that opens up a portal to a dimension of monsters that exists all around us. The doc gets "eaten" by something and his assistant (Combs) gets locked up in a looney bin. A sexy young doc decides to take him back to the machine along with a big bodyguard to reconduct the experiments. Chaos ensues. Blood flows. Heads roll. Weird creatures with big sharp teeth drip slime over everyone. The machine turns sexy doc into a horny leather wearing sadist (that part makes little sense, but I like it!)
Combs is, as always, great, as is Ted Sorel as the crazed doc. The story is good, but the execution is a bit hit and miss. The direction is a little choppy. Brought to you by the team that you the all-time cult classic Re-Animator the year before this, Stuart Gordon and Brian Yuzna. This one is a step below Re-Animator but still very good. The special effects are spectacular!

I give it a 7 to 7.5 out of 10 range. Check it out!

 

[jakedog56]

Also, just watched the 1982 cult classic Basket Case.


Ignorant Duane shows up in NY city carrying awicker basket and checks into a seedy hotel. Turns out that his severly deformed, psychotic brother Belial, who used to be his conjoined twin, lives in the basket and is on a revenge rampage to kill the doctors that seperated him and Duane and tossed him in a garbage can assuming he was dead.
This is certainly a B-movie (or C-movie?) in every sense of the word. The acting ranges from passable to bad. The production values are just a slight step above Troma Video quality. However the story is cheesily cool and the execution is fun. The special effects range from laughable (people flailing around with a rubber monster attached to their faces) to kinda cool (stop motion stuff) to early 80s style gore. The hidious Belial screams a lot and destroys all that cross him. Despite his limitations he is a pretty awesome monster.

It is hard to rate this one due to the fact that many aspects are pretty bad (acting, production values, etc) while others are pretty good (general ambiance, storyline, cool monster). I'll rate it a solid 6 out of 10 for the general viewer, but a bonus 1 to 1.5 if you are a fan of cheesy cool genre monster flicks.

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Rewatched a couple classics recently!

From Beyond


Cult horror legend Jeffrey Combs stars in this Lovecraft based tale about a doctor who makes a machine that creates a frequency that opens up a portal to a dimension of monsters that exists all around us. The doc gets "eaten" by something and his assistant (Combs) gets locked up in a looney bin. A sexy young doc decides to take him back to the machine along with a big bodyguard to reconduct the experiments. Chaos ensues. Blood flows. Heads roll. Weird creatures with big sharp teeth drip slime over everyone. The machine turns sexy doc into a horny leather wearing sadist (that part makes little sense, but I like it!)
Combs is, as always, great, as is Ted Sorel as the crazed doc. The story is good, but the execution is a bit hit and miss. The direction is a little choppy. Brought to you by the team that you the all-time cult classic Re-Animator the year before this, Stuart Gordon and Brian Yuzna. This one is a step below Re-Animator but still very good. The special effects are spectacular!

I give it a 7 to 7.5 out of 10 range. Check it out!

Also, just watched the 1982 cult classic Basket Case.


Ignorant Duane shows up in NY city carrying awicker basket and checks into a seedy hotel. Turns out that his severly deformed, psychotic brother Belial, who used to be his conjoined twin, lives in the basket and is on a revenge rampage to kill the doctors that seperated him and Duane and tossed him in a garbage can assuming he was dead.
This is certainly a B-movie (or C-movie?) in every sense of the word. The acting ranges from passable to bad. The production values are just a slight step above Troma Video quality. However the story is cheesily cool and the execution is fun. The special effects range from laughable (people flailing around with a rubber monster attached to their faces) to kinda cool (stop motion stuff) to early 80s style gore. The hidious Belial screams a lot and destroys all that cross him. Despite his limitations he is a pretty awesome monster.

It is hard to rate this one due to the fact that many aspects are pretty bad (acting, production values, etc) while others are pretty good (general ambiance, storyline, cool monster). I'll rate it a solid 6 out of 10 for the general viewer, but a bonus 1 to 1.5 if you are a fan of cheesy cool genre monster flicks.

Spot on reviews @jakedog56!

Love the idea for reviewing classic horror films! Been a grip since I've ventured back to films past the '90s. Aside from my yearly rituals of NotLD ('68), The Exorcist ('73), Jaws ('75), & Halloween ('78), of course! Might have to change that soon!

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Before I Wake (2016)


Not your typical horror/thriller film by most standards, but I liked this one. First off, this movie was fairly predictable. You can guess how it will resolve and what the different metaphoric elements are before the story explains them but it still manages to be engrossing all the same. In a nutshell the story is about how the mind deals with the loss of loved ones. The seemingly odd combination of psychological & supernatural elements in the film fit together well when you consider the perspective they are revealed to represent. The cgi/fx were sort of a mixed bag at first, but by the end it made sense for the film to present certain things the way it did. Mainly the dream-like sequences with vibrant cartoon-like fx. I admit it looked hokey at first, but like I said it made sense for the distorted reality they were trying to achieve. The antagonist cgi was particularly cool. Everything from the movie posters to the trailers revealed a play on the psyche with Rorschach visuals. So it was fascinating to see how they incorporated that "Rorschach element" into their antagonist. Overall it was a surprisingly logical & thought-provoking piece. Very well written in that aspect. Could have used more suspense but it had just enough. I've never been a fan of Kate Bosworth, but she was passable. Thomas Jane did an admirable job. Good score & production values. I think it takes a certain mindset to enjoy this film based off the fact that my wife thought it was cheesy, so I don't expect most people to agree with my thoughts here. So take it for whatever its worth!

Well written mix of horror & fantasy... 7.5/10