pachyderm
kick assery king
"Son, we play baseball in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be have to be hit over, hit high and hit deep, by men with bats. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Joey Bart? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Longoria, and you curse the front office. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that Longoria's release, while tragic, probably saved salary cap; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, sells tickets.
You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me to hit over that wall -- you need me to hit over that wall.
We use words like "homer," "OPS," "RBI's." We use these words as the backbone of a life scoring runs. You use them as a punch line.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who comes and watches games in the very stadium I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.
I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bat and stand in the box. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think we should spend our salary cap on!"