OT: Bullshitting at the Barbershop

[Winged_Wheel88]

A Cascade man was arrested outside of a Dubuque bar on Sunday night with a pet zebra and a macaw parrot in the front seat of his truck.

Officers charged Jerald Reiter, 55, with OWI. Police reports say officers stopped him in the parking lot of the Dog House Lounge as he drove away in his truck. According to police, field sobriety tests showed Reiter had a blood alcohol level of .14. The legal limit in Iowa is .08.

Reiter tells KCRG.com that he and his girlfriend, Vickey Teters, see the animals like their kids and often take them for rides. On Sunday night, they say they took the zebra and the macaw to the bar because it often lets people bring their animals inside.

Reiter says the owner told him they were serving food that night and he couldn’t bring a zebra inside the bar. Bar owners tell KCRG.com that no animals are ever allowed inside the establishment.

Man Arrested for OWI with Zebra, Parrot in Front Seat of Truck | KCRG-TV9 | Cedar Rapids, Iowa News, Sports, and Weather | Local News

A man, a zebra and a parrot all go into a bar together. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this - some kind of joke?"

 

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A man, a zebra and a parrot all go into a bar together. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this - some kind of joke?"

No, no, no - The bartender looks up and says, "What'll you have?"

The parrot replies, "Drinks for everyone, put it on my bill"

 

[IPostedWhat]

The parrot replies, "Drinks for everyone, put it on my bill"

You can't beak serious?

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

No, no, no - The bartender looks up and says, "What'll you have?"

The parrot replies, "Drinks for everyone, put it on my bill"

You can't beak serious?

You two are nit-pecking my story.

 

[puckhead]

bartender looks at the zebra and says "we don't serve your kind"
zebra said "shut the fuck up"
parrot says "holy shit, a talking zebra!"

 

[IPostedWhat]

You two are nit-pecking my story.

And here I thought the zebra is the one with the long face?

 

[Eddie_Shack]

Argument over gas money preceded Rockford man's fatal jump from pickup on U.S. 131 | MLive.com

WALKER, MI -- An argument over gas money between two men in a pickup preceded the passenger's fatal jump onto U.S 131 north of Ann Street this morning, police said.

At some point, May unbuckled his seat belt and states: "This ride is over for me" before opening the door and jumping out.

This is a weird one for me, it's basically the perfect story for the barbershop thread, the quote really makes it great. But this is actually a guy I know, he worked with my wife for several years and I spent some time with him at Christmas parties, occasionally at the bar, and in other situations. There is a big memorial story in the paper about it, so I don't know that this is something I can really make a clever joke about, it's just too weird. I will say though after knowing the person and from what my wife has said about him, that there is probably a very good chance that this story is a fabrication, and that he was in fact pushed out of the vehicle by the driver due to his personality.

 

[IPostedWhat]

"This ride is over for me"

I would have also accepted, "I have no regrets!"

 

[Eddie_Shack]

I would have also accepted, "I have no regrets!"

"Well, this is my stop! Aaiiiieeeeee!"

 

[puckhead]

Bicyclist struck by SUV, then fatally shot in Koreatown - latimes.com


because sometimes, running over a guy just isn't enough

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

Why God, why?

God: Because sometimes you just piss me off.

 

[SLY]

Wtf!? I just turned around at my desk and a fucking chipunk was behind me. Went running like a mother fucker, scared the shit outta me. Fucking warehouses.

 

[Eddie_Shack]

Wtf!? I just turned around at my desk and a fucking chipunk was behind me. Went running like a mother fucker, scared the shit outta me. Fucking warehouses.

Did he sing in a horribly high pitched voice?

 

[SLY]

Did he sing in a horribly high pitched voice?

No. But that would have been fucking awesome.

 

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Massages and waterbeds boost milk output in cows | CTV News

 

[sbb122]

An oldie but a goodie....

Wild Driver Terrorizes Stadium

I bet he made all of his field goals too...

 

[sbb122]

Mom Beats Teenage Son For Eating Last Pork Chop ? We Interrupt

 

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Mom Beats Teenage Son For Eating Last Pork Chop ? We Interrupt

That must have been some delicious pork chops that ma cooked up to invoke that kind of rage...

 

[Eddie_Shack]

Massages and waterbeds boost milk output in cows | CTV News

"Goddammit", said a spokesman for the nation's bulls.

An oldie but a goodie....

Wild Driver Terrorizes Stadium

I bet he made all of his field goals too...

Was the nacho cheese OK? Dammit man, give me the facts!

Mom Beats Teenage Son For Eating Last Pork Chop ? We Interrupt

Can't blame her, chops are good.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

How am i sure I'm the real mom of my kid? - Yahoo! Answers