Joke thread

[dboy97]

A guy is sitting in a bar having a couple drinks. After a while a cougar come over, sits down and starts making small talk. The woman is bit older than he would really be attracted too, but the guy, thinking to himself, thinks boy if she has a daughter she must be a real knockout. After a while the woman says to the man have you ever had a mother and daughter three way? The guy answers no but he would be willing to try. He gets in the womans car and they drive back to her house. When they walk inside he sits in the living room and the cougar yells upstairs.



























































"Mom are you still up."

 

[SLY]

I'd still go for it

 

[Slimpikins]

The San Jose Sharks defense...


Heyoooo!

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

The San Jose Sharks defense...


Heyoooo!

That's going to be a tough one to beat.

 

[devils30mb]

That's going to be a tough one to beat.

How about the New Jersey Devils at the moment!

 

[davnlaguna]

blond girl going door to door looking for odd jobs. She knocks on the door and the man answers. "Do you have any chores you need done for $100?"
The guy says "Sure I need my porch painted. The paint is right there"
He goes inside and tells the wife the deal they got. She says it is a really big porch and he should be ashamed of taking advantage of a blond like that.
1/2 an hour later there is another knock on the door. "All done" says the girl.
"Did you paint the whole porch?"
"Yes I did" she relpies, "But you should know its not a porch its a BMW"

 

[dash]

A Scotsman in New York decided to attend Yankee Stadium to see his first ever baseball game. The first batter stroked a liner to center field and the Scotsman jumped up and yelled "Run laddie run". The next batter ripped one to right field and the Scotsman again jumped up and yelled "Run laddie run". The next batter got a walk and started strolling down to first base. The Scotsman jumped up and yelled "Run laddie run".

The guy next to him said, "He doesn't need to run, he's got four balls."
The Scotsman replied, "Walk proud, laddie, walk proud".

 

[DaBoltsNIsles]

The San Jose Sharks defense...


Heyoooo!

If anyone wants a good laugh just take a look at the Islanders 4 forward lines. The 4th line doesn't have a goal yet this season. Can any other team say this?

 

[KennyBanyeah]

A Scotsman in New York decided to attend Yankee Stadium to see his first ever baseball game. The first batter stroked a liner to center field and the Scotsman jumped up and yelled "Run laddie run". The next batter ripped one to right field and the Scotsman again jumped up and yelled "Run laddie run". The next batter got a walk and started strolling down to first base. The Scotsman jumped up and yelled "Run laddie run".

The guy next to him said, "He doesn't need to run, he's got four balls."
The Scotsman replied, "Walk proud, laddie, walk proud".

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?




























... because a sheep can hear a zipper a mile away!!

 

[dash]

Q. Why don't they teach sex education and driver education on the same day in Mexico?
A. It's too hard on the donkey

 

[Cmon_WTF]

That's going to be a tough one to beat.

What are you talking about? No one seems to have much trouble beating San Jose's defense...

 

[Destroydacre]

The San Jose Sharks defense...


Heyoooo!

LOL. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

 

[puckhead]

What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?



The Stones say "Hey you, get off of my cloud", and a Scotsman says
"Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe"