Comedy Platinum out of Toronto - "Canada's Team" quest for the Cup

[elocomotive]

On the other hand, the montage Sportsnet just showed during the intermission of Kessel's first period was just hilarious. If anyone's unlazy enough to find it, it's worth ten watches.

I'd love to see it, sounds great. But I'm just gonna Kessell out of this one.

 

[dash]

My pet falcon can do the Kessel run in 12 parsecs.

/Yeah, it didn't make sense in 1977 either.

 

[elocomotive]

My pet falcon can do the Kessel run in 12 parsecs.

/Yeah, it didn't make sense in 1977 either.

But it did make me almost spit out my drink. Well done, Dash.

 

[DragonfromTO]

I forgot to post this when I first read it. It's copied from the comments at Pension Plan Puppets, just to make that clear. Shit cracked me up.


Intangibles In Action: A Story

"All right," says Clarkson, "we’re up two going into the third. Good team defence and we’ve got this in the bag." He spots Gardiner—always the most sensitive one—looking disheartened. "What is it, Jake?"

"I—" Tears begin streaming down his face. "I found out Phil didn’t talk to the media this morning."

The room is shocked. Everyone glances sidelong at Phil, who glares back with cold sullenness. He runs his hands over his stick, emphasizing how tangible everything to do with him is.

"Is it true?" Clarkson asks quietly.

"Yeah," Phil sneers, "I told that Jonas Siegel where to stick his microphone."

The team deflates like a balloon stuck with an $8 million a year pin. No one will commit to team defence now. No one will even look at Randy—noble, hopeless Randy, who has been vanquished by the savage tangibility of his leading scorer. The game is already over. The season is already over. Because one winger was determined to lead the team in scoring like an asshole.

 

[forty_three]

Columbus needs Dion. First rounder pls n thx.

Three things:
1) No first rounder
2) Columbus is getting RID of useless D men who skate like robots *cough*Erixon*cough*
3) No first rounder.

 

[DragonfromTO]

 

[DragonfromTO]

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

The "highlight reel" that accompanied Maclean saying this showed what he was talking about. You can tell me he put up the best analytic numbers for a period in the history of hockey, the things he was doing simply wasn't becoming of a professional hockey player and it had literally nothing to do with the players around him (except Kadri, who had a few moments of boneheadedness himself) including the lead-up to the Caps' opener.

The Leafs outshot the Caps last night. They lost 6-2. I don't take solace in improved analytics when they're getting their asses handed to them like that.

 

[DevilishWon]

Come on guys...who's a better judge of NHL talent than Mike Milbury?

Ask any Islander fan they'll tell you!

 

[forty_three]

Come on guys...who's a better judge of NHL talent than Mike Milbury?

Ask any Islander fan they'll tell you!

 

[DevilishWon]

In fairness he only gave up Chara and the draft pick that became Spezza for Ya$hin. That a signed him to and long-tern mega buck deal so,....

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

In fairness he only gave up Chara and the draft pick that became Spezza for Ya$hin. That a signed him to and long-tern mega buck deal so,....

That they are STILL paying for this year.

 

[forty_three]

In fairness he only gave up Chara and the draft pick that became Spezza for Ya$hin. That a signed him to and long-tern mega buck deal so,....

Hey now. He did score almost 120 goals for them.

 

[forty_three]

Toronto Maple Leafs? Phil Kessel not to blame for team unsuccessfully building around him | National Post

Feel free to disregard, because I understand no one likes that newspaper.

I especially liked this bit:

The Chicago Blackhawks have a Phil Kessel in their lineup; his name is Patrick Kane. No one complains that he is not a leader or a 200-foot player or that he is lazy because the Blackhawks also have Toews, Marian Hossa and Duncan Keith

You could say the same of the Caps and Ovi.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

Toronto Maple Leafs? Phil Kessel not to blame for team unsuccessfully building around him | National Post

Feel free to disregard, because I understand no one likes that newspaper.

I especially liked this bit:


You could say the same of the Caps and Ovi.

Of course you could. Nobody with half a hockey brain expected/expects Kessel to be something he unquestionably isn't and cannot be. The fault lies with Brian Burke's shitty team building, carried over by Nonis. That doesn't fall on Kessel.

 

[forty_three]

Of course you could. Nobody with half a hockey brain expected/expects Kessel to be something he unquestionably isn't and cannot be. The fault lies with Brian Burke's shitty team building, carried over by Nonis. That doesn't fall on Kessel.

There are things Phil deserves criticism for. This is not one of those things. He does not deserve to be in the middle of this shit storm.

 

[DragonfromTO]

The "highlight reel" that accompanied Maclean saying this showed what he was talking about. You can tell me he put up the best analytic numbers for a period in the history of hockey, the things he was doing simply wasn't becoming of a professional hockey player and it had literally nothing to do with the players around him (except Kadri, who had a few moments of boneheadedness himself) including the lead-up to the Caps' opener.

The Leafs outshot the Caps last night. They lost 6-2. I don't take solace in improved analytics when they're getting their asses handed to them like that.

If he showed every second I'd place more stock in it. "Highlight reel" sounds about as cherry-picked as you can get. Do you think that Maclean gathered all of the evidence available and then came to an objective conclusion? Or is it more likely that he had a narrative in mind and then went looking for anything that supported it?

I mean, if he was only on the ice for 3 shot attempts against in the period whatever mistakes he made couldn't have had very many serious consequences, no?

Do you really think that the Leafs "got their asses handed to them" last night? Did the scoreboard reflect the overall play? I haven't watched the game yet, but it doesn't seem like it did.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

If he showed every second I'd place more stock in it. "Highlight reel" sounds about as cherry-picked as you can get. Do you think that Maclean gathered all of the evidence available and then came to an objective conclusion? Or is it more likely that he had a narrative in mind and then went looking for anything that supported it?

I mean, if he was only on the ice for 3 shot attempts against in the period whatever mistakes he made couldn't have had very many serious consequences, no?

Do you really think that the Leafs "got their asses handed to them" last night? Did the scoreboard reflect the overall play? I haven't watched the game yet, but it doesn't seem like it did.

The problem is you shouldn't be able to create a highlight reel of one player's bad plays in one period, yet they were able to. He got off the ice just before the opening goal was scored from his own giveaway. He seems to be good at getting off the ice just before the other team gets a shot on net...

They showed four or five plays that can only be described as bone-headed fuckups. All involved turnovers, two involved him giving up on a play and skating back to the bench while the Caps broke out, my favourite was one instance where he had the puck in his own zone near the blue line and was literally doing 360's in place trying to figure out where the puck was on his stick until a Caps player finally dispossessed him. If he made one of those mistakes in a period, i'd be slightly peeved but would soon forget it. For a guy who makes more money than 98% of the players in the league to be pulling that shit over and over? Sorry, no excuses.

They got spanked. I can't name one player who had a good game.

 

[DragonfromTO]

The problem is you shouldn't be able to create a highlight reel of one player's bad plays in one period, yet they were able to. He got off the ice just before the opening goal was scored from his own giveaway. He seems to be good at getting off the ice just before the other team gets a shot on net...

They showed four or five plays that can only be described as bone-headed fuckups. All involved turnovers, two involved him giving up on a play and skating back to the bench while the Caps broke out, my favourite was one instance where he had the puck in his own zone near the blue line and was literally doing 360's in place trying to figure out where the puck was on his stick until a Caps player finally dispossessed him. If he made one of those mistakes in a period, i'd be slightly peeved but would soon forget it. For a guy who makes more money than 98% of the players in the league to be pulling that shit over and over? Sorry, no excuses.

They got spanked. I can't name one player who had a good game.

Do you really not think that one can find enough clips in a period to paint a negative picture of any player if that's what they're trying to do? That's half of the problem with the irrational portion of the Dion-hating collection. They watch a period, see him lose a couple of puck battles and point and say "SEE!?!?!", without considering that any defenseman who plays regularly takes part in a lot of 50/50 puck battles and is bound to lose a good number of them. It's called "confirmation bias".

If the mistakes that Kessel made in that period were so damaging and so frequent, why did the Caps only have 3 shot attempts while he was on the ice? You said that you can't name one player who had a good game, so the reason can't be that everyone else was covering his ass.

And if he'd stayed on the ice instead, do you not think that the narrative would have simply become "he stayed on too long and was tired and that's why they scored"?

 

[DevilishWon]

I boldly predict if Kessel is moved he will thrive wherever he goes as long as it isn't TO

just sayin'