Best pick-up lines that you have used?

[TemptressToo]

I never say a word...usually just make eye contact.

 

[RTRdian]

Try harder limp dick

Don't be thinkin about his dick, I called dibs. I'll get the claws and chopsticks out.

 

[Shanemansj13]

I got one and it isn't perverted:

"What is a smart, attractive, young....Man like myself doing without your number?"

 

[TheRobotDevil]

Maybe he thought you were a sure thing?

Easy tiger Im hard to get

 

[RTRdian]

Easy tiger Im hard to get

Liar

 

[fredmccallyRTR]

We need the "worse pick up lines you've ever used or heard" thread.

A few lifted from the internetz...

"Was your mother a beaver? 'Cause damn!"

"Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore — my face should be among them."

"Did you just fart? Because you blow me away!"

"Do you work at Subway? 'Cause you just gave me a foot-long."

"If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine."

"I've lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?"

"Hey, baby. Want a raisin? Sorry, none left. Perhaps a date then?"

"Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams."

"Do you like pancakes? Well how about IHOP on that ass."

"Do you believe in love at first sight?..
Or should I walk past again?"

 

[TheRobotDevil]

Liar

How can I resist the I'll blow you a kiss pick up line and the spanking

 

[RP-29]

Wanna fuck?

Back in '98, I was out bowling with three buddies. One of my boys saw a group of girls a few lanes over signaling to me. He told me, then I turned around and saw a chick walking towards me. I walked over to meet her and she blurted out "wanna fuck?" A bit dumbfounded, I glanced over at her group and immediately realized her friends put her up to it. Not taking her seriously, I smiled, jokingly said "sure!", politely introduced myself, shook her hand, then walked away.

I've always regretted that response. Not because I think I should have tapped that, but we both could've really messed with the minds of both of our friend groups if we would've immediately walked out of the alley together.

 

[DeafOranguntan]

Always made girls laugh with "Do you clean your pants with windex because I can see myself in them." Of course, highest success rate was the classic,

"Let's not turn this r*ape into a murder." In other news, SportsHoopla censors that.

 

[ralphiewvu]

Are you a parking ticket????

Cause you got FINE written all over you

 

[Texas Jefe]

Seems like when I didnt say anything was the best strategy. Then again, when you're young and athletic you could get away with that. When you get old, you have to talk your way into things.

 

[UNA Lion]

"Wait, what?"

Recall at least three times when attractive girls came up to me, chiding me for not asking them out earlier. In all instances, I was moving out that day or the next. I was pretty clueless, rarely knowing when I was being hit on.

When I was in the USCG back in the early 90s, was all excited about a computer upgrade and carrying my machine to my apartment to make it happen. The two not-unattractive girls living in the apartment above mine were standing on the crosswalk overhead, barefoot and in dresses. They invited me up, but I said no thanks.

Have had many a dream about how that could have gone were I not so clueless at the time.

 

[redseat]

"my place or yours?"

 

[whitesoxsweep]

"Oh yes, I agree with you 100%, women should definitely get paid the same as men in the same occupation"

Only works with a straight face though.

 

[Inimical]

"I want my dick with some shit on it"

 

[KansasSooner]

Hello, cowgirl in the sand, is this place at your command? (thank you Neil).

 

[7Samurai13]

I'm doing a scientific experiment on the correlation between weight loss and semen and you look like you would be a great test subject.

 

[Cowboyinexile]

One of my friends came up with this:

You look like a trophy bass. I don't know if I should eat or mount you.

I fucked it up when I used it. I said I don't know if I should skin you or mount you. I may have been a little tipsy at the time.

 

[handicappers]

Great, another catfishing thread by random weird guy. Gross.

 

[ElTexan]

"Hey, Chastity. ...oh. I'm sorry. You look like this **** star I know."