Tim Connolly > Sidney Crosby

[BOSSMANPC]

Tim Connolly fractured his jaw eating cotton candy.

 

[elocomotive]

I'm going to use a go to "insult" of a friend of mine in college...

Tim Connolly is injured so often that if injuries were bricks, he would have lots of bricks. Well, at least several, I don't want to exaggerate.

 

[juliansteed]

Tim Connolly's local bingo hall won't let him play unless he signs a waiver first.

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

One time, Tim Connolly actually got burned when someone nearby said "burn" in response to a joke.

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

Tim Connolly uses oven mittens to pull ice cream out of the freezer.

 

[BOSSMANPC]

For life insurance reasons the AARP will not let Tim Connolly join until he produces a death certificate.

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

When Tim Connolly is at a barbershop, his hair screams.

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

Tim Connolly once had a stroke when he saw this face: ---->

 

[KillerVee]

Tim Connolly suffered many concussions in kindergarten playing Duck Duck Goose.

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

Tim Connolly hurt his back when the door hit him on the way out.

 

[elocomotive]

Tim Connolly once had a stroke when he saw this face: ---->

To be fair, that has happened on three previous occasions. #bustingballs

 

[DaBoltsNIsles]

The Leafs put a no shower clause in Connolly's contract because they were afraid he'd slip, fall & break something.

 

[IPostedWhat]

Tim Connolly is so fat, every time he walks by the TV, I miss 3 episodes.



Wait, I don't think that's right either?

 

[juliansteed]

Tim Connolly once went to a Halloween party dressed in his regular clothes and won best costume. Lucky for him it just happened to be the day he got his latest cast removed.

 

[juliansteed]

Ever buy a product that has a safety disclaimer that reads "For indoor or outdoor use only" and wonder what the fuck that is supposed to mean? Well Tim Connolly managed to find out the hard way.

 

[Vadered]

Tim Connolly has been injured by things Rick Dipietro shrugs off.

 

[Vadered]

When Tim Connolly was playing NHL 94, Gretzky made HIS head bleed.

 

[Vadered]

Tim Connolly needs to call the doctor if the erection lasts more than 4 seconds.

 

[Vadered]

Tim Connolly is a killer.

Tim Connolly is a mess!

 

[Vadered]

Tim Connolly has been injured due to the following illegal actions at least once each: slashing, spearing, charging, high sticking, boarding, elbowing, roughing, fighting, interference, delay of game, too many men on the ice, equipment violations (sticks AND goalie pads), icing, goaltender playing the puck in a restricted zone, two line pass, unsportsmanlike conduct, instigation, letting the puck stop during a penalty shot attempt, and that one time he went bowling and the other guy stepped over the foul line.