some gems in today's Down Goes Brown

[puckhead]

Down Goes Brown: A look back at the captains who have raised the Cup

 

[SLY]

2011 - Zdeno Chara accepts the Stanley Cup from Bettman in yet another example of foreigners having things handed to them by hard-working Americans, Tim Thomas secretly thinks.

 

[dash]

1994 - Mark Messier famously breaks into a fit of giddy laughter as Bettman hands him the Cup, probably because he just realized how much the Canucks would now be willing to offer him in free agency in a few years.

Ouch.

 

[blindbaby]

nice.

 

[puckhead]

also funny: What hockey gods? | CanucksArmy

 

[Eddie_Shack]

2008 - The historic moment of the first European captain receiving the Cup is ruined when a confused Nicklas Lidstrom asks if the big silver thing is some sort of fancy ashtray for his unfiltered cigarettes, Don Cherry imagines.

I laughed pretty hard at that one...

2005 - Gary Bettman doesn't hand any cups to anyone, unless you want to count a steaming hot cup of "give us your money and shut up", in which case every hockey fan in North America personally receives one.

This one too, until I started crying...

 

[puckhead]

Down Goes Brown: Winners and losers from the 2012 NHL playoffs

 

[mattola]

Down Goes Brown: Winners and losers from the 2012 NHL playoffs

some really good ones in there

Winner: Tampa Bay Lightning - Their Norfolk Admirals farm team won the AHL's Calder Cup while gaining invaluable experience, such as figuring out how to pause the game, access the options and menu and turn offsides off.

 

[awaz]

my favorite today:

Loser: Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit Red Wings - Announced his retirement from the NHL, which immediately dropped his chances of winning the 2013 Norris Trophy down to like 50% or 60%, tops.

 

[dash]

43 should like this one:

Winner: Jack Johnson, Columbus Blue Jackets - The defenceman seems to be in the best shape of his life, according to neighbors who've seen him hurl his big screen TV across three yards and into their swimming pool after every Kings' win.

 

[Darkstone42]

Winner: Mike Smith, Phoenix Coyotes - Established himself as a clutch goaltender who could single-handedly steal games for his team, and it was a nice change of pace to read stories that included the phrase "Phoenix Coyotes" and "absolute robbery" but not "Glendale taxpayers".

That was my favorite.

The Jack Johnson and Tomas Vokoun ones gave me a good chuckle, too.

 

[mooger_35]

Down Goes Brown: Behind the scenes at the auditions for the 2012 NHL Awards Show hosting job

Burke: And you play for the Nashville Predators.

Suter: Um… (glances at his watch) … sure. Technically.

Bettman: Ryan, which section of the show will be reading from tonight?

Suter: I'd like to do page 8, the tribute to Nicklas Lidstrom.

Bettman: Perfect. Any time you're ready.

Suter (reading): "The retirement of Nicklas Lidstrom will leave a gaping void, not just on the Detroit Red Wings' blueline, but throughout the NHL and indeed the entire hockey world…"

Bettman: That's really good, nice job.

Suter: "… but especially on the Detroit blueline. They're really going to need a big name to replace him or they're screwed."

Bettman: That's not what the script says.

Suter: "Luckily they have lots of cap space, so I'm sure money will be no object. In fact, if Ken Holland is here maybe he could just yell out a number right now, and we'll see if it sounds high enough."

Bettman: That will do, Ryan.


LOL

 

[mattola]

this is my favourite part

Thomas (laughing good-naturedly): What? Guys, come on, don't believe everything you read. I'm just a regular guy who happens to be a proud American.

Shanahan: Actually, every American I've ever known in hockey makes terrible decisions…

Burke: Hey!

Bettman (reaching to high-five Shanahan): Ha! Burn on you, Brian!

 

[puckhead]

Down Goes Brown: 2012 NHL Draft Preview

 

[dash]

I laughed at the following:

Olli Maatta - Has been the subject of intense trade speculation, as rumors swirl that he may be willing to pull the trigger on the long-rumored deal to send one of his extra vowels to Martin Frk.

 

[puckhead]

Down Goes Brown: A look at the 2012 Hall of Fame candidates

 

[forty_three]

Down Goes Brown: A look at the 2012 Hall of Fame candidates

First swing, line drive:
Jeremy Roenick - Recently made an extremely eloquent and impressive case for his induction to the members of the selection committee, and was disappointed at the end when they all took their Stanley Cup rings out of their ears and said "sorry, what?"

 

[Darkstone42]

I laughed at pretty much all of those.

 

[beantownmaniac]

2001 - Joe Sakic takes the Cup and hands it directly to Ray Bourque, after realizing that going door-to-door and kicking every Boston Bruins fan in the groin individually would take too long.

Many Bruins fans were happy for Bourque so that's kinda not funny. Now Jeremy Jacobs on the other hand...

 

[beantownmaniac]

Winner: Bryan Murray, Ottawa Senators - The global economy continues to spiral towards an unprecedented collapse that could devastate vulnerable nations and wipe out entire currencies, which is starting to make Erik Karlsson's free agency negotiation starting point of "all the money in the entire world times ten" seem manageable.


Loser: Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit Red Wings - Announced his retirement from the NHL, which immediately dropped his chances of winning the 2013 Norris Trophy down to like 50% or 60%, tops.