some gems in today's Down Goes Brown

[Darkstone42]

All players are rendered in three dimensions, which these days is several dimensions short of what would be required to display all of Dustin Byfuglien.

 

[higgyfan4]

I don't know where this guy comes up with this shit, but it's great every. single. time.

I'm definitely gonna buy his book.

 

[mooger_35]

Down Goes Brown: Don't Call It A Rollback: Gary Bettman's old-school message to the NHL's players and fans

 

[mattola]

that was awesome mooger

 

[SLY]

 

[puckhead]

Down Goes Brown: Take the quiz: How well do you really know the CBA negotiations?

 

[puckhead]

Down Goes Brown: Other ways that NHL teams are cutting costs during the lockout

 

[mooger_35]

Toronto Maple Leafs - Make sure the team bus doesn't waste gas on any long and costly trips by firmly wedging a former goaltending coach underneath it.


Columbus Blue Jackets - Sorry, have employed Steve Mason for the past few years, are unfamiliar with the concept of saving anything.


Los Angeles Kings - Will reportedly scale back ad buys for their 2012-13 local marketing campaign entitled "Hey Los Angeles, remember that hockey team you were a huge fan of for a few weeks last spring? No, OK didn't think so, sorry to have bothered you."


Calgary Flames - Will probably just talk endlessly about how we're going to be making them for sure while hoping nobody notices that we don't have any sort of actual plan that would… wait, did you say layoffs? Sorry, we thought you said "playoffs".



awesome

 

[dash]

Calgary Flames - Will probably just talk endlessly about how we're going to be making them for sure while hoping nobody notices that we don't have any sort of actual plan that would… wait, did you say layoffs? Sorry, we thought you said "playoffs".

not that funny

fixed it for ya mooger

 

[mooger_35]

new post today

Down Goes Brown: This is non-core: The agenda at the latest round of CBA negotiations

 

[dash]

From Mooger's link...

4:00 p.m. - As the meetings wind down for the day, a disappointed Dustin Byfuglien begins to realize that all this talk about the best way to divide up the pie was only metaphorical.

 

[higgyfan4]

12:00 noon - Everyone breaks for a lunch of sandwiches and cold cuts with the exception of Jeremy Jacobs, who as usual subsists entirely on champagne flutes filled with the tears of hockey-loving children.

Now this I believe really happened.

 

[mattola]

 

[puckhead]

lol Bissonette / Suter / Timmay

 

[mooger_35]

At least Down Goes Brown is keeping busy during the lockout...

Down Goes Brown: Welcome to NHL replacement player training camp

 

[dash]

lol - This paragraph is gold, Jerry, gold.

Alright, let’s just get started on dividing some of you up into teams. You guys over there, the ones who are holding your sticks the wrong way and forgot to take their skate guards off? You can take these Columbus Blue Jackets jerseys. Everyone who marked down on their application form that they’ll never be available after the first week of April, skate over there and grab your Maple Leafs gear. And you, the guy who can’t seem to skate three strides without falling down for absolutely no apparent reason? Come on over and get your #17 Canucks jersey.

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

lol - This paragraph is gold, Jerry, gold.

Alright, let’s just get started on dividing some of you up into teams. You guys over there, the ones who are holding your sticks the wrong way and forgot to take their skate guards off? You can take these Columbus Blue Jackets jerseys. Everyone who marked down on their application form that they’ll never be available after the first week of April, skate over there and grab your Maple Leafs gear. And you, the guy who can’t seem to skate three strides without falling down for absolutely no apparent reason? Come on over and get your #17 Canucks jersey.

I had to take a break after that paragraph because I was laughing so hard.

Barely made it to the Kessler reference because the Leafs burn was so good.

 

[mattola]

Down Goes Brown: Good signs and bad signs in the ongoing CBA talks

 

[dash]

Good sign: The players have been attempting to build goodwill by inviting the owners to spend leisure time with them individually.

Bad sign: So far, the owners have declined the repeated invitations to go for a nice walk in the woods with David Booth.

Booth needs to go hawk hunting with Jacobs as the prey...

 

[dash]

Good sign: The players responded to the owners' most recent offer by presenting not one but three different counter-proposals.

Bad sign: Those three different offers were created by Donald Fehr shifting his weight slightly while he sat pantsless on the photocopier.