OT - Roommate Advice, please?

[Jared]

Loki,

I don't know you very well (at all), but reading this has been fascinating. It seems that she has reacted defensively to your email, which probably wasn't the best way to go to resolve the issue. I wouldn't be surprised if Chuck is in her ear telling her it's all you, you're the crazy one, etc. After all, men are idiots (I are one) and many times will do or say what we have to in order to get some.

The fact that you care what she thinks sort of shows the type of person you are. She has no problem imposing on you and your sister, which is really the root of all these issues, and that shows what type of person she is. Although it will be tough at times, I would take the high road here. Be as nice as possible to her for the time that's left, and you when you are finally free of this situation you will know that you did all you could to keep the peace and be a good person. I suspect it's what you'll do naturally anyway.

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

Anybody ever read Glue by Irvine Welsh?

These last couple posts made me think about that.

It's an amazing book that follows 4 friends from childhood to adulthood and their efforts to stay friends despite their lives going in very different directions. Forces one to do a lot of self-reflection as you read through it.

 

[Comeds]

My last roommate was pretty awesome. Except when he banged the girl that I liked. But I eventually forgave him. We had a lot of fun.

This one won't even talk to me since I brought up the subject and now thinks I'm a bitch. She went the whole extreme way - "Fine. He won't ever come over again." I hate when people do that.

See if I was Cousin Joe and made an appearance I would never do that, at most a shower webcam.

Sorry things are not going so well between you two.

 

[elocomotive]

That Kaylee would say I'm not a nice person was the thing that hurt the most. I try very, very hard to be a nice person to my friends. I am always the one they call when they need help moving out of their boyfriend's house at 3am or whatever. Even with Kaylee personally, I saw her through numerous breakups with the ex and that five year relationship including, spending hours and hours making a video for the ex on Windows Movie Maker for a surprise for the ex to win him back, spending an entire mopey weekend with her at her parents' place while she mourned the latest break up, helping her move out of the ex's place when I had actual fun plans that day...clearly I'm just being used and this relationship has run its course.

God, that's so like a Kaylee to do that, too. It's like my friend went over to her house because he made a nice video expressing his love for her and he wanted to surprise her with it since she hasn't called in awhile. So you smash ONE tiny pane of glass when nobody is home, and you TOTALLY clean it up, so he can get in and put it in the DVD player. And then you find a DVD in there and he watches it and its her banging her new "boyfriend" (even though he knows it will never last) and a couple of his buds. Whatever, because they were on a break and both trying new things and I'm totally seeing someone else too. And she gets all pissed because he broke into her house?!? WHAT?!? I'm trying to do something romantic and she CALLS THE COPS!?!? SO Kaylee. My friend was pissed.

 

[loki604]

Loki,

I don't know you very well (at all), but reading this has been fascinating. It seems that she has reacted defensively to your email, which probably wasn't the best way to go to resolve the issue. I wouldn't be surprised if Chuck is in her ear telling her it's all you, you're the crazy one, etc. After all, men are idiots (I are one) and many times will do or say what we have to in order to get some.

The fact that you care what she thinks sort of shows the type of person you are. She has no problem imposing on you and your sister, which is really the root of all these issues, and that shows what type of person she is. Although it will be tough at times, I would take the high road here. Be as nice as possible to her for the time that's left, and you when you are finally free of this situation you will know that you did all you could to keep the peace and be a good person. I suspect it's what you'll do naturally anyway.

I don't think it's Chuck himself, so much as a circle jerk between the two of them. He agrees with her about nearly everything. The one time he showed us this SNL skit, and he was laughing his ass off. After, I was like, "I didn't really think it was that funny." And Kaylee said, "Yeah, me neither." And Chuck said, "Yeah, you're right." OBVIOUSLY you thought it was funny as you were laughing during the whole thing. I don't think she's going to break up with you because you didn't like the same SNL skit. So I imagine it started with her bitching about me regarding something, him validating her views, rinse, repeat.

I am going to take the high road because I find it hard to be really, truly mean to someone. I can be bitchy and sarcastic, but there are certain things off the table that I just won't say because you can't take words back. I'm not congratulating myself on that either because other people don't have the same filter, so it just results in me being a doormat sometimes.

Another conversation that made me think about how self-absorbed she is, is when she had been dating Chuck for about two months, and I was asking her about it. She was saying how wonderful and perfect it was. Which is fine. But then she started saying how they were talking and their pretty sure only about 5% of couples really loved each other as much as they loved each other. And I kind of called her on it (in a friendly, logical way - no fighting or anything) and said "Really? I mean you don't get to see what most people are like when they're having their most intimate conversations and everything. I'm sure a lot of couples love each other that much - at least a quarter." (And this is coming from someone cynical about relationships). She brought up my best friend and her boyfriend - Samantha and Don - and said that MAYBE they were there. This couple has been together for eight years and have had to deal with his multiple deployments to Iraq and her mom having cancer. It just seemed so naive and self-absorbed to think that your relationship was that special and amazing when you haven't even had to face any major obstacles or life-changing events.


Thanks for listening to my drama guys...haha. I bitch to my friends, but I'm not going to be the person that tells this long drawn out saga to everyone. At least here you choose to click.

 

[loki604]

Anybody ever read Glue by Irvine Welsh?

These last couple posts made me think about that.

It's an amazing book that follows 4 friends from childhood to adulthood and their efforts to stay friends despite their lives going in very different directions. Forces one to do a lot of self-reflection as you read through it.

Putting it on the Amazon wishlist. Thanks for the recommendation.

 

[elocomotive]

Another conversation that made me think about how self-absorbed she is, is when she had been dating Chuck for about two months, and I was asking her about it. She was saying how wonderful and perfect it was. Which is fine. But then she started saying how they were talking and their pretty sure only about 5% of couples really loved each other as much as they loved each other. And I kind of called her on it (in a friendly, logical way - no fighting or anything) and said "Really? I mean you don't get to see what most people are like when they're having their most intimate conversations and everything. I'm sure a lot of couples love each other that much - at least a quarter." (And this is coming from someone cynical about relationships). She brought up my best friend and her boyfriend - Samantha and Don - and said that MAYBE they were there. This couple has been together for eight years and have had to deal with his multiple deployments to Iraq and her mom having cancer. It just seemed so naive and self-absorbed to think that your relationship was that special and amazing when you haven't even had to face any major obstacles or life-changing events.

Kinda sounds like you both have some animosity towards the other even outside the roommate stuff. Sucks when being roommates exacerbates that stuff.

 

[Comeds]

Loki, get back to me on the Kaylee Shower Cam.

 

[loki604]

Kinda sounds like you both have some animosity towards the other even outside the roommate stuff. Sucks when being roommates exacerbates that stuff.

Yeah, like I said before, the relationship has been deteriorating for awhile. We're just both very different now. I don't know if I would have called it "animosity" though. Even for that conversation, I didn't say anything to her about it or even argue with her after that initial point. Lots of people think they are Super Special - I just thought it was very evident of self-absorption.

 

[loki604]

Loki, get back to me on the Kaylee Shower Cam.

Hahahaha. She'd probably like it...

THAT WHORE!!!

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

Putting it on the Amazon wishlist. Thanks for the recommendation.

Starts a bit slow, but stick with it.

Took me a month to get through the first 150 pages and about 2 days for the next 300.

Edit: Should point out that, like all of his books, this one's not for the squeamish. Written in a pretty heavy Scottish dialect (though not as tough as Trainspotting) and features a couple particularly disturbing scenes.

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

Loki, get back to me on the Kaylee Shower Cam.

Hahahaha. She'd probably like it...

THAT WHORE!!!

I like where this thread is going.

 

[dare2be]

WTH, I'll throw in a "me too!" for good measure.

 

[elocomotive]

I like where this thread is going.

Cat fight?

 

[Bizzle McDizzle]

Again...

Orgy.


Solves lots of problems.
Gonna have to trust me on this one.

 

[Comeds]

Arrrgghhh Chuck Shower Cam....my eyes my eyes!

 

[BOSSMANPC]

Loki, Drag her ass onto the Jerry Springer show. That would be the only time I would ever watch it, assuming it's still on the air.

 

[forty_three]

If the good advice given in this thread doesn't work, and let's face it - who can talk sense to a Kaylee - try this:

Apologize to her. Tell her you are just not feeling the same since the London Riots started, and you just felt like you needed to lash out at something. Tell her you feel bad for picking on Chuck and tell her that you realize it's a short term thing anyway, and she will be done with the "rebound" relationship soon and everything will get back to normal, both here and in London.

When she asks what you mean by you know Chuck is "short term" anyway, be coy and just say "Since he's been here, it's been really obvious to me, my sister AND cousin Joe. I figured you would have picked up on the issue by now. Give it time." Then hug her. If you are all wearing pajamas, this will be better.

She will obsess about it, find the first minor flaw and pounce on it. Then he will be gone. Job Done!