OT - Roommate Advice, please?

[BOSSMANPC]

I was the Chuck, but I was only over a couple nights a week because I hated my girlfriend's house. I made sure, though, to find out everyone else's schedules and work around them when I was there. I woke up a half hour earlier than I normally would to not interfere with showering things, and to thank them for letting me stay, I would clean up one of the rooms or do the dishes every now and then. And I never took a shower that lasted more than 5 minutes when I was there. I wasn't paying for water, so it would have been wrong of me.

Just tell Chuck that if the coolest, smartest, most awesome person on SportsHoopla can make such concessions that he should too, and all will work out fine.

DS, That sounds narcissistic. We all know this guy is

 

[BOSSMANPC]

Woah, woah, woah... I think we need to first verify if Boss made those kinds of concessions. He might not even remember the late 1800s.

LOL, Read my last post ! :blabla:

 

[Winged_Wheel88]

Woah, woah, woah... I think we need to first verify if Boss made those kinds of concessions. He might not even remember the late 1800s.

Are you kidding? He remembers when two cents could buy you a hooker!

 

[elocomotive]

LOL, Read my last post ! :blabla:

Did you seriously not read my post before you wrote yours? Hilarious. Especially since I had just picked out someone random and then changed it when I realized I could get an age zing in on ya.

 

[Darkstone42]

DS, That sounds narcissistic. We all know this guy is

When you're this awesome...

 

[juliansteed]

This is why I don't like having roommates. You think you know someone and that they will be considerate but then you find out that they're not. I also don't have a roommate because I don't like having to be considerate.

 

[loki604]

This is why I don't like having roommates. You think you know someone and that they will be considerate but then you find out that they're not. I also don't have a roommate because I don't like having to be considerate.

My last roommate was pretty awesome. Except when he banged the girl that I liked. But I eventually forgave him. We had a lot of fun.

This one won't even talk to me since I brought up the subject and now thinks I'm a bitch. She went the whole extreme way - "Fine. He won't ever come over again." I hate when people do that.

 

[loki604]

I was the Chuck, but I was only over a couple nights a week because I hated my girlfriend's house. I made sure, though, to find out everyone else's schedules and work around them when I was there. I woke up a half hour earlier than I normally would to not interfere with showering things, and to thank them for letting me stay, I would clean up one of the rooms or do the dishes every now and then. And I never took a shower that lasted more than 5 minutes when I was there. I wasn't paying for water, so it would have been wrong of me.

Just tell Chuck that if the coolest, smartest, most awesome person on SportsHoopla can make such concessions that he should too, and all will work out fine.

That's kinda one of the things that bothers me. He doesn't act like a guest. Kudos to you for being so good about it.

He mowed the lawn once, but as that's Kaylee's chore, I fail to see how that benefitted me at all. I've always made nice gestures towards them (they ran out of booze once at like 2am and were still outside drinking; I gave them a bottle of wine that I had. My mom made lasagna for my birthday; I told them to help themselves, etc.)

I don't even want reciprocated gestures, just some common courtesy.

 

[dare2be]

This one won't even talk to me since I brought up the subject and now thinks I'm a bitch. She went the whole extreme way - "Fine. He won't ever come over again." I hate when people do that.

How does your sister feel about all this? If your roommate is giving you the cold shoulder now, would your sister be able to step up in a "arbitrator" role to get this household meeting going?

 

[dare2be]

Most people are oblivious, most people are selfish, and too many people are both.

FIFY

 

[elocomotive]

How does your sister feel about all this? If your roommate is giving you the cold shoulder now, would your sister be able to step up in a "arbitrator" role to get this household meeting going?

Salesman - What do Dare and I need to do to put you in a healthy housemate relationship today?

 

[elocomotive]

FIFY

Cynic! I'm an optimist, Dare, which is remarkable for a Caps' fan.

 

[loki604]

How does your sister feel about all this? If your roommate is giving you the cold shoulder now, would your sister be able to step up in a "arbitrator" role to get this household meeting going?

She 100% agrees with me, but is very non-confrontational. She was telling me to stand my ground yesterday when I was feeling guilty. I guess if this keeps up she might say anything. I IMed Kaylee at work to let her know what time the exterminator was coming to the house (damn ants) and she didn't even respond to me. So if she's going to ignore me, my sister might say something.

 

[elocomotive]

She 100% agrees with me, but is very non-confrontational. She was telling me to stand my ground yesterday when I was feeling guilty. I guess if this keeps up she might say anything.

Kaylee!

 

[dare2be]

If it comes to a point where she just won't cooperate anymore, if you are on good terms with the landlord, get them involved, or even have them change the locks and let your friend know that when she is willing to work with you, she can have her new key.

I'm sure the key given to the boyfriend breaks some part of the rental agreement?

 

[sbb122]

I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said but i have to add in one of my fav '80's songs...

 

[loki604]

If anyone wanted an update, Kaylee went full-blown psycho on me via text yesterday. I asked if she wanted to come downstairs and have a chat. She said she didn't want to talk, but that she would comply, but that I could be nicer next time. I said great and I hope he still comes over 2-3 times or whatever, I didn't want to make him feel unwelcome. And I agreed that I wasn't that nice (bitchy e-mail), and said we both overreact sometimes and that's when we're sarcastic/mean to each other (she had done this a couple weeks ago to me).

She started sending me all this stuff about what a mean and rude bitch I am. That my first response to people is sarcasm and bitchiness. That I am not a nice person at all. That some people at work think I come off as a bitch. She said I "stalk" through the halls of our house in bad moods and I'm angry and this is hard to deal with. She said she told her sister about this and her sister said it sounds like I'm depressed (not a psychologist). She said if I wanted to "improve" she would try to help me, but if I was just going to blame her for my flaws that was "sad".

I literally have NO effing clue what she is talking about. I'm a very gregarious, playful person. If people at work didn't like me, I think it would be because I might come off as not taking things as seriously as I should. She admitted that I had my "fans" at work. Well, shit I'm in a place where some people like me and some people don't? Isn't that like everywhere you spend any amount of time in your life?

The stalking through the house thing? Again, NO CLUE. We have hard wood floors and I'm more likely to be sliding around on my socks than "stalking". Sometimes I go in the kitchen when she and her boyfriend are in there and I don't say anything to them because I'm heading outside for a smoke and don't want to interrupt their conversation to be like "Hi guys!" every time I go through there. That's the only possible thing I could think of.

I'm in no way depressed - this is like the happiest I've been in my life. And I don't act sad or mopey. I go out all the time, my friends visit, I go to family functions...

And that she offers to improve my personality is so delusional that it makes her sound borderline insane IMO. I am so awful and you are so perfect that there must be serious flaws in my personality?

I am sarcastic, but it is mostly teasing. Yes, sometimes sarcasm can cross a line into mean and I'm sure I step over that line sometimes, but it's hardly a defining trait of my personality.

That Kaylee would say I'm not a nice person was the thing that hurt the most. I try very, very hard to be a nice person to my friends. I am always the one they call when they need help moving out of their boyfriend's house at 3am or whatever. Even with Kaylee personally, I saw her through numerous breakups with the ex and that five year relationship including, spending hours and hours making a video for the ex on Windows Movie Maker for a surprise for the ex to win him back, spending an entire mopey weekend with her at her parents' place while she mourned the latest break up, helping her move out of the ex's place when I had actual fun plans that day...clearly I'm just being used and this relationship has run its course.

We will be polite until May and then part ways, hopefully forever minus the occasional work run in.

 

[dare2be]

Seems like you needed one.

 

[loki604]

Seems like you needed one.

Thanks. My sister and I'm sure other people will say, "Why do you care what she thinks?" But it's hard...we were best friends for awhile (our relationship had been deteriorating for awhile...I don't think moving in together is what did it in). She's so self-absorbed anymore. She's really changed - the perfect anecdote to illustrate that:

On my 19th birthday, I was working two jobs at the time (saving up for travel) and I came home around 11pm and wasn't doing anything for my birthday. She called me and said I had to do something for my birthday and she was coming over. It was really nice. We drank some and just talked and played cards.

On my 24th birthday, this past June, I was having my normal 5-6 friends over in my group. I'm not a huge birthday person...just like my friends around to bullshit and drink some beer. That's all we were doing. Kaylee had previously said she would be joining us. Instead she went out with Chuck and said we weren't doing anything "special" anyways, so why would she stay and hang out?

Makes me sad thinking about that.

 

[dare2be]

I hate regrets. I have had a few good friends drop off the face of the earth over the years never knowing why or where they are.