I just learned that this song was written by Mark Knopfler.
gonna need a minute here
The song was initially intended for Dire Straits' 1982 album Love over Gold. The instruments were recorded, but Mark Knopfler considered the lyrics unsuitable for a male singer, so the track was dropped from the project.
Knopfler once said the song was ruined due to "them drafting in Jeff Beck to play the world's second-ugliest guitar solo