OT: Bullshitting at the Barbershop

[jstewismybastardson]

this went sideways pretty quick lol

https://www.facebook.com/WFMDavis/posts/503926572964202

 

[dash]

this went sideways pretty quick lol

https://www.facebook.com/WFMDavis/posts/503926572964202

It could have been worded better but c'mon don't we have bigger fish to fry (and women to fry those fish in the kitchen as God intended)

 

[jstewismybastardson]

corporations like Whole Foods have to tip toe on eggshells when it comes to touching "controversial issues" on social media or else they end up with scrambled organic free-range grown eggs

 

[mattola]

It could have been worded better but c'mon don't we have bigger fish to fry (and women to fry those fish in the kitchen as God intended)

 

[puckhead]

cop stops a car going 4mph over the speed limit, and confiscates $1 million
U.S. court gives B.C. man another shot at $1 million bag of cash


I know a guy who got pulled over with about $600k that he couldn't explain in a borrowed porsche.
It took about three years, but I think he got the money back. Which the Vietnamese drug dealers were very pleased about.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

since there was no "getting erect on public transit" thread , I'lll put this here

 

[IndyAndy]

Just found this on Facebook:

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day. Merry Christmas, Timmy Jones * *
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.* Merry Christmas,*

Santa Claus***
* *
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. Nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite? Respectfully, Tim Jones
* *
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days. Very Truly Yours, S Claus
* *
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN! T-Bone* *
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia. S Clizzy * *
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything. Timmy
* *
Timmy,
That's what I thought you little bastard.
Santa

 

[puckhead]

Paul McCartney 'to replace Kurt Cobain at Nirvana reunion gig'

????

 

[mattola]

Paul McCartney 'to replace Kurt Cobain at Nirvana reunion gig'

????

yeah I saw this on the news. thats a big WTF... are they going to do Teen Spirit? I would think OZzy would be better suited for that. noone can understand him anyway. but Paul... so strange

 

[dash]

I can't wait for the "Smells Like Teen Spirit/Silly Love Songs" medley...

 

[jstewismybastardson]

maybe Novoselic will hit Sir Paul over the head with his gee-tar and finish him

 

[puckhead]

I can't wait for the "Smells Like Teen Spirit/Silly Love Songs" medley...

"r*pe me"

 

[SLY]

I hate Nirvana.

That said, I really need to go to the barber, my hair is getting outta control.

 

[puckhead]

HOMEWORK: Teacher in France suspended for assigning suicide notes | Vancouverdesi.com

 

[IPostedWhat]

HOMEWORK: Teacher in France suspended for assigning suicide notes | Vancouverdesi.com

France huh? Let me guess, all the suicide notes said the same thing:

"I Give Up."

 

[jstewismybastardson]

warning ... this is high on the GOD DAMN OUCHIES meter

click with caution

/and stick to skiing and marijuana bode

Bode Miller Accidentally Destroyed His Wife's Face With A Golf Ball

 

[puckhead]

warning ... this is high on the GOD DAMN OUCHIES meter

click with caution

/and stick to skiing and marijuana bode

Bode Miller Accidentally Destroyed His Wife's Face With A Golf Ball

if they are golfing together, wtf is she doing in the line of fire?
"no that's OK honey, I'll just go wait up by the red tees"

if they were in different groups, then yikes, just bad luck.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

well done headline writer!

Justin Bieber castration plot foiled: U.S. report



/ i would hate to think what would have become of Beibs if these ne'er-do-wells followed through on their plan, went to do the ole snip snip and ... damn ... the kid already had that procedure done

 

[higgyfan4]

I hate Nirvana.

That said, I really need to go to the barber, my hair is getting outta control.

Me too and yes, you do.

 

[higgyfan4]

It could have been worded better but c'mon don't we have bigger fish to fry (and women to fry those fish in the kitchen as God intended)

thank you matt, although that deserves a too...