Official Off-Topic VT Thread

[bchampy]

Hell, I would follow 46 to a new board if he got banned. BTW, what brought that up?

 

[Rocky]

I have myself a problem.

There is a freekin birdsnest over a column at my front door. It seems that a mourning dove (cute sounding, but dirty fucking birds) has set up home there.

I figure, live and let live. I called her Larry, after the French Lick wonder. Later, when her husband showed up (I assume it was her husband based on the observation that he squatted on her in what looked like, ahem, a classic fucking position. Needing a name for the husband, I called him Sue, after UCONNs Sue Bird)

Anyways, Larry never seems to be able to keep her eggs in the nest, and therefore no little Larrys or Sues are forthcoming.

And, Larry has a shitload of bird buds, who come over and sit on my freekin window sill and deposit said shitloads, day and night, while mourning like I really give a shit.

OK, so I hired a mexican (hey, its Mississippi, and they are the only ones that will clean up shit, so cut me some freekin slack here, ok? besides, they work cheap)

The other night, a neighborhood cat decided that it would be a great time to raid Larry's nest, but a REALLY big freekin neighborhood dog, with an even bigger freekin bark, decided that the dumbass cat looked like a snack.

Sooooo, the REALLY big freekin dog cornered the dumbass cat on my front porch, barked and meowed like WWIII, and thats when I woke up, at approx 3 am.

After I yelled alot, they all ran, chased, or flew away.

I asked my son what he thought, and after laughing alot, he said that I was fupped duck.

OK, I don't really know WTF that means, since I'm getting on in age, and I'm hard of hearing. Fupped Duck?

So, my question is this:

Should I call customs on the Mexican? Just kidding. I like the guy. (not in that way, you bastards)

Should I call Romney, and see if he needs a cheap shit cleaner for his station wagon roof?

Should I put in some ear plugs upon retiring, so that I don't bother the assembled zooage at my front door?

Or, is a glock 45 overkill? Its got a 21 round mag.

 

[bchampy]

I think you should write this up as a sitcom and try to sell it.

 

[wildturkey]

Lol, fupped duck

 

[HokieGhost]

Rocky, you are definitely not well, but I repped you anyway!

 

[Forty_Sixand2]

I have myself a problem.

There is a freekin birdsnest over a column at my front door. It seems that a mourning dove (cute sounding, but dirty fucking birds) has set up home there.

I figure, live and let live. I called her Larry, after the French Lick wonder. Later, when her husband showed up (I assume it was her husband based on the observation that he squatted on her in what looked like, ahem, a classic fucking position. Needing a name for the husband, I called him Sue, after UCONNs Sue Bird)

Anyways, Larry never seems to be able to keep her eggs in the nest, and therefore no little Larrys or Sues are forthcoming.

And, Larry has a shitload of bird buds, who come over and sit on my freekin window sill and deposit said shitloads, day and night, while mourning like I really give a shit.

OK, so I hired a mexican (hey, its Mississippi, and they are the only ones that will clean up shit, so cut me some freekin slack here, ok? besides, they work cheap)

The other night, a neighborhood cat decided that it would be a great time to raid Larry's nest, but a REALLY big freekin neighborhood dog, with an even bigger freekin bark, decided that the dumbass cat looked like a snack.

Sooooo, the REALLY big freekin dog cornered the dumbass cat on my front porch, barked and meowed like WWIII, and thats when I woke up, at approx 3 am.

After I yelled alot, they all ran, chased, or flew away.

I asked my son what he thought, and after laughing alot, he said that I was fupped duck.

OK, I don't really know WTF that means, since I'm getting on in age, and I'm hard of hearing. Fupped Duck?

So, my question is this:

Should I call customs on the Mexican? Just kidding. I like the guy. (not in that way, you bastards)

Should I call Romney, and see if he needs a cheap shit cleaner for his station wagon roof?

Should I put in some ear plugs upon retiring, so that I don't bother the assembled zooage at my front door?

Or, is a glock 45 overkill? Its got a 21 round mag.

Rocky,

I have reviewed your case. I feel like there is a four part solution to your problem here. I will outline it below:

1. In the past 6-7 days it has been well into the 90s there is Mississippi and the heat may be getting to you a bit (being that you mention that you are gettin' on in years and all). I would crank the AC up a bit more (electric bill be dammed!) and try and stay inside. This ought to help with your problem of personification of the fauna on yer stoop.

2. I would put up a baby gate immediately upon the hearin' of the rucks outside yourn door to block any possible exit for the wingless wonders.

3. I would grab a glass, add three ice cubes, a few squeezes for fresh lime, two fingers of bourbon (may I suggest Woodford Reserve) and a splash of soda water and observe to getting ons of them critters outside as they ought be able to figure out this little inter-species disagreement, and it may be worth noting how it gets figured out.

4. When the winged critters return, I would follow the "live and let live" mentality that you have taken until the end of the season. On one cool evening, however, when Sue is over visitin' Larry, I would go have a talk with the little lovebirds (see what I did there) while cleaning yer hand cannon. Let them know that you don't much oblige their squattin on yer' stoop and invitin' friends over to yammer and poop. Give them the address of yer friend Pedro the poop cleaner as an alternative as he would probably like a pet as such.

 

[Rocky]

Rocky,

I have reviewed your case. I feel like there is a four part solution to your problem here. I will outline it below:

1. In the past 6-7 days it has been well into the 90s there is Mississippi and the heat may be getting to you a bit (being that you mention that you are gettin' on in years and all). I would crank the AC up a bit more (electric bill be dammed!) and try and stay inside. This ought to help with your problem of personification of the fauna on yer stoop.

2. I would put up a baby gate immediately upon the hearin' of the rucks outside yourn door to block any possible exit for the wingless wonders.

3. I would grab a glass, add three ice cubes, a few squeezes for fresh lime, two fingers of bourbon (may I suggest Woodford Reserve) and a splash of soda water and observe to getting ons of them critters outside as they ought be able to figure out this little inter-species disagreement, and it may be worth noting how it gets figured out.

4. When the winged critters return, I would follow the "live and let live" mentality that you have taken until the end of the season. On one cool evening, however, when Sue is over visitin' Larry, I would go have a talk with the little lovebirds (see what I did there) while cleaning yer hand cannon. Let them know that you don't much oblige their squattin on yer' stoop and invitin' friends over to yammer and poop. Give them the address of yer friend Pedro the poop cleaner as an alternative as he would probably like a pet as such.

LMAO

It has been hot as a witches teat here, was 101 on Friday I believe, and that was real temp, none of that feels like bullshit. Good catch on your part.

I love number three man. That sounds like some PHD shit right there baby. Am I too old to be a grad assistant? (Ill sub it out to Pedro, and keep the difference)

BTW, by hand cannon, do you mean my glock or my cock?

At least, as a fupped duck, Im an equal with my zoomates.

I love this board.

 

[Taz_Hokie]

:confused2:

I am completely and utterly confused as to what the heck is going on right now...

 

[Forty_Sixand2]

Rocky,

I believe the hand cannon that you ought use best be the former as the latter may send the wrong message (and get you arrested). As soon as I get some funding I will strongly consider bringing you on as a grad assistant if you beat out VTFF. I need some one to grade and do monotonous work for pennies, while I take all ofthe credit.

Taz, it's southern. I spent two years in the middle of South Cackalacky and picked up a little while there.

 

[bchampy]

Taz, it's southern. I spent two years in the middle of South Cackalacky and picked up a little while there.

 

[Forty_Sixand2]

I actually know the difference between a:

gully-washer

thunder-bumper

toad-strangler

Do y'all?

 

[Forty_Sixand2]

I hate being the first person at the bar.

I am drinking one of what I described above though!

 

[jeffro151]

I actually know the difference between a:

gully-washer

thunder-bumper

toad-strangler

Do y'all?

What about tally-whacker?

 

[Forty_Sixand2]

That's gross jeffro.

 

[Forty_Sixand2]

Hell, I would follow 46 to a new board if he got banned. BTW, what brought that up?

With the revolution rolling through, you never know.

 

[amszete]

Hell, I would follow 46 to a new board if he got banned. BTW, what brought that up?

 

[Forty_Sixand2]

I don't anticipate any issues, but I always keep my options open guys. It was a throw away line. I guarantee we will always have a place to chat. This is an Aweome group. Where is the tailgate this year?

 

[VT_Football_Fan]

Rocky,

I believe the hand cannon that you ought use best be the former as the latter may send the wrong message (and get you arrested). As soon as I get some funding I will strongly consider bringing you on as a grad assistant if you beat out VTFF. I need some one to grade and do monotonous work for pennies, while I take all ofthe credit.

Taz, it's southern. I spent two years in the middle of South Cackalacky and picked up a little while there.

No way Rocky, 46 is my Prof. Back off buddy.

And 46, I'm not above pay for grades... Have you meet my friend Mr. Franklin...

 

[Taz_Hokie]

I don't anticipate any issues, but I always keep my options open guys. It was a throw away line. I guarantee we will always have a place to chat. This is an Aweome group. Where is the tailgate this year?

Litton-Reaves?

 

[VT_Football_Fan]

Litton-Reaves?

I'll be there for the FSU game

Also the Cincy game if anyone wants to meet up and reveal their true identities ...