Off Topic: Mother In Law

[Southieinnc]

Mother in law lives with us. She was once a (seemingly) nice lady, politices aside.
She is now 89 and going blind, almost deaf and medically non-compliant.
She refuses to wash her hands and can't wipe her ass sufficiently.
Her short-term memory is very poor and "she did not say that!"
They have refused her for assisted living. Nobody wants to go to a nursing home.
She has been in the hospital for last 3 days. This morning she started acting crazy and we just got a call that she's better!
Basically, she is getting kicked out of the hospital!
It is my nature to take care of her but.......
My wife said that if she is a danger to herself, a nursing home won't take her either.
Hospice won't take her because she does not have a terminal diagnosis.
Eskimos used to put grandma in a canoe and give her a shove.
Any suggestions?

 

[fknhippie]

thousands of Eskimos can't be wrong.

 

[YankeeRebel]

Mother in law lives with us. She was once a (seemingly) nice lady, politices aside.
She is now 89 and going blind, almost deaf and medically non-compliant.
She refuses to wash her hands and can't wipe her ass sufficiently.
Her short-term memory is very poor and "she did not say that!"
They have refused her for assisted living. Nobody wants to go to a nursing home.
She has been in the hospital for last 3 days. This morning she started acting crazy and we just got a call that she's better!
Basically, she is getting kicked out of the hospital!
It is my nature to take care of her but.......
My wife said that if she is a danger to herself, a nursing home won't take her either.
Hospice won't take her because she does not have a terminal diagnosis.
Eskimos used to put grandma in a canoe and give her a shove.
Any suggestions?

In all honesty doesn't sound like you have any real options. It is your Mother In law so it's you wife's responsibility to handle that shit not your's

 

[Southieinnc]

In all honesty doesn't sound like you have any real options. It is your Mother In law so it's you wife's responsibility to handle that shit not your's

My wife is disabled and can only do so much.
I could let mom eat whatever she wants? That would speed things up.....

 

[YankeeRebel]

My wife is disabled and can only do so much.
I could let mom eat whatever she wants? That would speed things up.....

And there are no other family members on her side?

 

[Southieinnc]

And there are no other family members on her side?

Everybody's dead, whether younger or older. My wife is the only living relative.

 

[YankeeRebel]

Everybody's dead, whether younger or older. My wife is the only living relative.

Can you drop here at the Firehouse?

 

[Debbie Does]

What's her doctor say? How long can she go on like this?

What options does Medicare offer? Anything better than warehousing?

 

[phantomfoul88]

Is there a Dr. Jack Kevorkian up your way? All joking aside, I've somewhat been there so I feel for you.

 

[Debbie Does]

Is there a Dr. Jack Kevorkian up your way? All joking aside, I've somewhat been there so I feel for you.

Canada is making medically-assisted suicide kind of immoraly easy. I'm a little concerned that the Canadian system will become like taking the old family dog in for that final dirt nap. What was that Kurt Vonnegut story about the Ethical Suicide Parlors?

 

[BigKen]

My mother in law was demented after my father in law passed. The family agreed to pay my wife $1500 a week to live with her and take care of her. I spent six months living by myself from Sunday afternoon to Friday evening. My wife's sisters would spend Friday and Saturday night with her so my wife could spend the weekend with me. December through May. I never complained. One day in May she started for the door and dropped dead. It was a pain in the ass for my wife because she had to watch her constantly and had to literally lock her bedroom door so she wouldn't wake up and go for a walk and not be able to find her way home or tell the police her name.

I don't envy you one iota.

Check with the state and see what the legal options are. Nursing homes are expensive but better than the stress on you and your wife. There comes a time when tough love is best for all.

Then again, you all could go on a camping trip in the Appalachians and let her sleep in her own tent.

 

[cheerupcharlie]

 

[Yankee Traveler]

Mother in law lives with us. She was once a (seemingly) nice lady, politices aside.
She is now 89 and going blind, almost deaf and medically non-compliant.
She refuses to wash her hands and can't wipe her ass sufficiently.
Her short-term memory is very poor and "she did not say that!"
They have refused her for assisted living. Nobody wants to go to a nursing home.
She has been in the hospital for last 3 days. This morning she started acting crazy and we just got a call that she's better!
Basically, she is getting kicked out of the hospital!
It is my nature to take care of her but.......
My wife said that if she is a danger to herself, a nursing home won't take her either.
Hospice won't take her because she does not have a terminal diagnosis.
Eskimos used to put grandma in a canoe and give her a shove.
Any suggestions?

Well...assuming you're not an Eskimo...but "give her a shove"...

Maybe a trip to New York, let her ride the Subway system?
I hear that they're real good at the "give her a shove" thing.


Grand Canyon?

Breakdown lane of I285 on any Friday afternoon?

 

[Yankee Traveler]

My wife is disabled and can only do so much.
I could let mom eat whatever she wants? That would speed things up.....

No Grandma...not the D-Con AGAIN...

 

[Yankee Traveler]

Then again, you all could go on a camping trip in the Appalachians and let her sleep in her own tent.

With a whole bushel basket full of Hardee's sausage egg and cheese Biscuits?


"I don't know why grandma insisted on eating sleeping with open tubs of jelly, Ranger"

 

[BigKen]

Mother in law lives with us. She was once a (seemingly) nice lady, politices aside.
She is now 89 and going blind, almost deaf and medically non-compliant.
She refuses to wash her hands and can't wipe her ass sufficiently.
Her short-term memory is very poor and "she did not say that!"
They have refused her for assisted living. Nobody wants to go to a nursing home.
She has been in the hospital for last 3 days. This morning she started acting crazy and we just got a call that she's better!
Basically, she is getting kicked out of the hospital!
It is my nature to take care of her but.......
My wife said that if she is a danger to herself, a nursing home won't take her either.
Hospice won't take her because she does not have a terminal diagnosis.
Eskimos used to put grandma in a canoe and give her a shove.
Any suggestions?

I want to apologize for for trying to be funny. What I said about taking her for a camping trip bothered me all night. I'm truly sorry.

Your position absolutely sucks. Worse, your wife doesn't seem to be in position to really solve the problem.

Some suggestions:

Call the state health department and ask what they can do.
Check to see if she qualifies for home health care and get a visiting nurse.
Check with rest homes and rehabs regardless of distance.

If I can be of any assistance, just ask.




My wife is getting into the same situation again, this time with a sister.

She had a peach sized benign tumor removed from her brain the week after Thanksgiving. My wife flew to Maine and was going to drive her back here so she could look for a house. Her kids asked her to stay until the new year and they would drive her back. On this past Sunday she sent a picture of herself to my wife and said that she was in agony and her left eye was pouring water. I didn't know who she was when I saw the photo. My wife told her to get to the hospital. Instead she called the surgeon who removed the tumor and of course he's on vacation and it took another day before he called her and told her to get into the hospital.

Result? The put a metal plate in her skull after the surgery and somehowthe plate created a biological infection that was eating her skull. They had to remove about 2.5 square inches of skull bone and some infected brain tissue. The area is now full of antibiotics and her brain is covered with just skin and hair and she has to wear a helmet for two months. In late February they will open the area and put a hard plastic protective piece to replace her skull once the infection is dead. She asked my wife if she could stay here. She's a year younger than me and two and half older than my wife. In her picture she looked 90. I told my wife, "You do whatever you think is best. I'll support whatever you do."

I wonder if I just put a straight razor to my own throat.

 

[Yankee Traveler]

I want to apologize for for trying to be funny. What I said about taking her for a camping trip bothered me all night. I'm truly sorry.

Your position absolutely sucks. Worse, your wife doesn't seem to be in position to really solve the problem.

Some suggestions:

Call the state health department and ask what they can do.
Check to see if she qualifies for home health care and get a visiting nurse.
Check with rest homes and rehabs regardless of distance.

If I can be of any assistance, just ask.




My wife is getting into the same situation again, this time with a sister.

She had a peach sized benign tumor removed from her brain the week after Thanksgiving. My wife flew to Maine and was going to drive her back here so she could look for a house. Her kids asked her to stay until the new year and they would drive her back. On this past Sunday she sent a picture of herself to my wife and said that she was in agony and her left eye was pouring water. I didn't know who she was when I saw the photo. My wife told her to get to the hospital. Instead she called the surgeon who removed the tumor and of course he's on vacation and it took another day before he called her and told her to get into the hospital.

Result? The put a metal plate in her skull after the surgery and somehowthe plate created a biological infection that was eating her skull. They had to remove about 2.5 square inches of skull bone and some infected brain tissue. The area is now full of antibiotics and her brain is covered with just skin and hair and she has to wear a helmet for two months. In late February they will open the area and put a hard plastic protective piece to replace her skull once the infection is dead. She asked my wife if she could stay here. She's a year younger than me and two and half older than my wife. In her picture she looked 90. I told my wife, "You do whatever you think is best. I'll support whatever you do."

I wonder if I just put a straight razor to my own throat.

Getting old sucks.
Not because knees, shoulders, back, hairy ears etc... but because we get to watch loved ones suffer through their final days first.

Getting old is tough, loved ones getting old is tougher.

 

[Southieinnc]

What's her doctor say? How long can she go on like this?

What options does Medicare offer? Anything better than warehousing?

I warned my wife a year ago that if she kept treating medical professionals the way she has that they would hate her.
We are now there. Everybody just wants to get rid of her.

 

[Southieinnc]

My mother in law was demented after my father in law passed. The family agreed to pay my wife $1500 a week to live with her and take care of her. I spent six months living by myself from Sunday afternoon to Friday evening. My wife's sisters would spend Friday and Saturday night with her so my wife could spend the weekend with me. December through May. I never complained. One day in May she started for the door and dropped dead. It was a pain in the ass for my wife because she had to watch her constantly and had to literally lock her bedroom door so she wouldn't wake up and go for a walk and not be able to find her way home or tell the police her name.

I don't envy you one iota.

Check with the state and see what the legal options are. Nursing homes are expensive but better than the stress on you and your wife. There comes a time when tough love is best for all.

Then again, you all could go on a camping trip in the Appalachians and let her sleep in her own tent.

After a certain point, nursing homes won't take you.

 

[Southieinnc]

I want to apologize for for trying to be funny. What I said about taking her for a camping trip bothered me all night. I'm truly sorry.

Your position absolutely sucks. Worse, your wife doesn't seem to be in position to really solve the problem.

Some suggestions:

Call the state health department and ask what they can do.
Check to see if she qualifies for home health care and get a visiting nurse.
Check with rest homes and rehabs regardless of distance.

If I can be of any assistance, just ask.




My wife is getting into the same situation again, this time with a sister.

She had a peach sized benign tumor removed from her brain the week after Thanksgiving. My wife flew to Maine and was going to drive her back here so she could look for a house. Her kids asked her to stay until the new year and they would drive her back. On this past Sunday she sent a picture of herself to my wife and said that she was in agony and her left eye was pouring water. I didn't know who she was when I saw the photo. My wife told her to get to the hospital. Instead she called the surgeon who removed the tumor and of course he's on vacation and it took another day before he called her and told her to get into the hospital.

Result? The put a metal plate in her skull after the surgery and somehowthe plate created a biological infection that was eating her skull. They had to remove about 2.5 square inches of skull bone and some infected brain tissue. The area is now full of antibiotics and her brain is covered with just skin and hair and she has to wear a helmet for two months. In late February they will open the area and put a hard plastic protective piece to replace her skull once the infection is dead. She asked my wife if she could stay here. She's a year younger than me and two and half older than my wife. In her picture she looked 90. I told my wife, "You do whatever you think is best. I'll support whatever you do."

I wonder if I just put a straight razor to my own throat.

No offense was taken. I have found that humor helps with every situation.