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Off Topic: Mother In Law

Yankee Traveler

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After 2 months in Rehab home, mother in law has been accepted into assisted living.
It is a beautiful, happy place and one suitable for a Karen.
I really believe the only reason she was approved was her doctor wanted to get rid of her!
She turned 90 today. She will be moving Wednesday, after the holiday.
This is a very big blessing!
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Southieinnc

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Well it's been 2 weeks in assisted living and she is flunking out of assisted living.
She refuses to make any effort and has regressed to worse than before rehab.
We are researching a more intense rehab facility but what good will that do if she does not want to improve.
I don't know why she wants to live like this. There is nothing left for her.
 

Yankee Traveler

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Well it's been 2 weeks in assisted living and she is flunking out of assisted living.
She refuses to make any effort and has regressed to worse than before rehab.
We are researching a more intense rehab facility but what good will that do if she does not want to improve.
I don't know why she wants to live like this. There is nothing left for her.
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BigKen

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I don't know why she wants to live like this. There is nothing left for her.
Can you tell assisted living to just ignore her and when she's thirsty or hungry or can't stand her own smell, maybe she'll realize how much help she needs or she'll pass gently into the eternal dirt nap.
 

Southieinnc

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Update:
She went to hospital yesterday. She was going to be released back to assisted living but took a turn for the worse.
Got "the call" from a doctor this morning. Left no message about condition biu said we need to call back as soon as possible.
She has been moved to ICU and they were preparing to intubate her if we did not call immediately back.
They wanted to know of her families wishes. Should she go on life support.
We told them absolutely not. They asked if her heart stopped should they do CPR. We informed them no, she did not want that.
All signs are for her passing imminently.
 

sharkymcwrath

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Update:
She went to hospital yesterday. She was going to be released back to assisted living but took a turn for the worse.
Got "the call" from a doctor this morning. Left no message about condition biu said we need to call back as soon as possible.
She has been moved to ICU and they were preparing to intubate her if we did not call immediately back.
They wanted to know of her families wishes. Should she go on life support.
We told them absolutely not. They asked if her heart stopped should they do CPR. We informed them no, she did not want that.
All signs are for her passing imminently.

I can't believe I'm saying this but good luck with that. I hope it's quick and easy and you can move on. My dad died of cancer and while nothing even close to what you're dealing with, he was a pretty selfish guy in life and kinda died that way. Towards the end we were all just hoping to get it over with but he just wouldn't let go. I hope to hell I go down in flames quickly and cause no grief for anybody.
 

Yankee Traveler

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Update:
She went to hospital yesterday. She was going to be released back to assisted living but took a turn for the worse.
Got "the call" from a doctor this morning. Left no message about condition biu said we need to call back as soon as possible.
She has been moved to ICU and they were preparing to intubate her if we did not call immediately back.
They wanted to know of her families wishes. Should she go on life support.
We told them absolutely not. They asked if her heart stopped should they do CPR. We informed them no, she did not want that.
All signs are for her passing imminently.
Wishing the best for you and your loved ones.

All jokes aside.
 

Southieinnc

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Update:
We just got "the call" from the palliative team. Would be called Hospice if not in the hospital.
Very good conversation from some very thoughtful people. Very understanding people.
We advised them not to escalate any treatment plan but to just make her comfortable.
She will be allowed to die naturally.

I apologise to any of you who have faced this or will be facing this time in life.
 

NWPATSFAN

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Update:
We just got "the call" from the palliative team. Would be called Hospice if not in the hospital.
Very good conversation from some very thoughtful people. Very understanding people.
We advised them not to escalate any treatment plan but to just make her comfortable.
She will be allowed to die naturally.

I apologise to any of you who have faced this or will be facing this time in life.
It is what it is pal. No need to apologize. We all deal with these situations as best we can. Or hope we are making the right choices.

Best of luck to you and your family through this very difficult time.
 

BigKen

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I apologise to any of you who have faced this or will be facing this time in life.
NO NEED AT ALL.

We all have to face some crap. It's worse when it's your wife's parents. My wife quit work to take care of her demented mother M-F for six months before she dropped. She had Macular Degeneration and Dementia. The wife would drive up to Maine on Sunday night and come home on Friday afternoon when her three sisters would rotate the weekends. If she had a professional care/ nurse, it would have been $1000 a day. Social Security would have picked up $440. The family begged my wife to watch her for $1000 a week. Chasing a naked 86 year old woman in a condo complex wasn't one of the easy things about taking care of her.

You did the right thing Southie. Prolonging a miserable life is cruel. To her and to you and your wife. Let her go.
 

Southieinnc

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Update:

They are moving her to Hospice tomorrow.
She is heavily sedated and her blood pressure is dropping.
There is no guarantee that she will make it til tomorrow.
I am picking up papers from Hospice today.....
 

Debbie Does

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Update:
She went to hospital yesterday. She was going to be released back to assisted living but took a turn for the worse.
Got "the call" from a doctor this morning. Left no message about condition biu said we need to call back as soon as possible.
She has been moved to ICU and they were preparing to intubate her if we did not call immediately back.
They wanted to know of her families wishes. Should she go on life support.
We told them absolutely not. They asked if her heart stopped should they do CPR. We informed them no, she did not want that.
All signs are for her passing imminently.

Did she have a living will, composed during more lucid times, explaining her end-of-life wishes? When my Mom went to the hospital for the last time, I was happy to have that from her. It was easier on me to pass her DNR requests on to the doctor. She was already medicated into unconsciousness so yes, it was a blessing when she passed on.

Don't feel bad for anything you've done. You have been a saint.
 

Yankee Traveler

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Update:

They are moving her to Hospice tomorrow.
She is heavily sedated and her blood pressure is dropping.
There is no guarantee that she will make it til tomorrow.
I am picking up papers from Hospice today.....
Best wishes Southie.
 

BigKen

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I'm Praying for Y_O_U.

I'm in good with the big GUY. We made a deal 52 years ago and neither of us has broken it. I know he's listening.

Take a deep breath and I'm dead serious. Tell HIM Thanks, and mean it.

Your mind is your soul and he knows if you mean it or not.

All my best. We're all here for you.
 

nefansince75

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Update:
We just got "the call" from the palliative team. Would be called Hospice if not in the hospital.
Very good conversation from some very thoughtful people. Very understanding people.
We advised them not to escalate any treatment plan but to just make her comfortable.
She will be allowed to die naturally.

I apologise to any of you who have faced this or will be facing this time in life.
We fight be we are all friends. I'm happy to give you a place to decompress the thoughts going through you.
 

Southieinnc

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Mom has passed. She slipped away last night and is now pain-free.
My wife is doing well.
Thank you all for your kind wishes :suds:
 

BigKen

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Never easy to lose someone close. I sympathize with you and your wife's loss.

I'm happy that she was able to go quickly and I'm happy for the stress that will no longer burden you.

I can be an A-Hole, but I do have a heart.
 
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