Off Topic: Mother In Law

[Southieinnc]

Getting old sucks.
Not because knees, shoulders, back, hairy ears etc... but because we get to watch loved ones suffer through their final days first.

Getting old is tough, loved ones getting old is tougher.

After the love of my life passed from cancer, the pain of losing friends and family is just not the same.
When my mother died I said a prayer and let her go. She lived into late 80's and smoked. She had a good long go of it.
Whenever I lose touch with a friend, it seems as though they have passed.

 

[Yankee Traveler]

After a certain point, nursing homes won't take you.

At the point where the cost of care exceeds the value of your assets...

 

[Yankee Traveler]

After the love of my life passed from cancer, the pain of losing friends and family is just not the same.
When my mother died I said a prayer and let her go. She lived into late 80's and smoked. She had a good long go of it.
Whenever I lose touch with a friend, it seems as though they have passed.

I lost my dad Oct 17, 1981 in a plane crash.
As it was, that was the same year my grandfather died. And the same year a couple friends of mine dies in a car accident, one of them the brother of my now wife. And the same year 3 people my age in my small town of 1000 committed suicide. And two others my age died in alcohol related car accidents. It was just a year of death and it changed me and how I viewed and reacted to death.
In 2019, memorial day weekend, I got a call at work from my wife tat her brother had called and my step dad had been in a car accident. Her brother works the volunteer rescue squad there. No word on condition, but I knew he was gone. A few hours later it was confirmed, massive heart attach and he drove off the road, a one vehicle crash.
When I told my boss I would need a few days he was shocked at my calmness and lack of anguish.
Ehh...it is what it is. It happens to the best of us, no matter what we do.
Sometimes it is totally out of our control; Plane crash, Tumor, heart attack (my step dad would ride his bike 50 miles at a time and was very conscientious about what he ate) or hit by a drunk driver.
Sometimes it's totally within our control; driving drunk, smoking and drinking too much, suck starting a shotgun.
But it's gonna happen. Enjoy those around you while you can and while they are still enjoyable.


FYI, I can never hear a CCR song without thinking of my stepdad and tearing up.

 

[Debbie Does]

Sorry to hear all of this. I feel fortunate that my Mom passed fairly quickly of cancer, died in the hospital and never had to go to a nursing home or move in with us. I would rather go that way myself, if I can't get run over by a beer truck. She lived independently in her own home until a month or so before the end, and was happy there.

Think of the good times.

 

[Southieinnc]

I lost my dad Oct 17, 1981 in a plane crash.
As it was, that was the same year my grandfather died. And the same year a couple friends of mine dies in a car accident, one of them the brother of my now wife. And the same year 3 people my age in my small town of 1000 committed suicide. And two others my age died in alcohol related car accidents. It was just a year of death and it changed me and how I viewed and reacted to death.
In 2019, memorial day weekend, I got a call at work from my wife tat her brother had called and my step dad had been in a car accident. Her brother works the volunteer rescue squad there. No word on condition, but I knew he was gone. A few hours later it was confirmed, massive heart attach and he drove off the road, a one vehicle crash.
When I told my boss I would need a few days he was shocked at my calmness and lack of anguish.
Ehh...it is what it is. It happens to the best of us, no matter what we do.
Sometimes it is totally out of our control; Plane crash, Tumor, heart attack (my step dad would ride his bike 50 miles at a time and was very conscientious about what he ate) or hit by a drunk driver.
Sometimes it's totally within our control; driving drunk, smoking and drinking too much, suck starting a shotgun.
But it's gonna happen. Enjoy those around you while you can and while they are still enjoyable.


FYI, I can never hear a CCR song without thinking of my stepdad and tearing up.

When I was young, nobody thought I'd live to be 25. They are all gone and I'm still on the correct side of the grass.
Someone once told me, "only the good die young. You're a prick, you'll live forever!"

 

[Yankee Traveler]

When I was young, nobody thought I'd live to be 25. They are all gone and I'm still on the correct side of the grass.
Someone once told me, "only the good die young. You're a prick, you'll live forever!"

There are pros and cons to everything.

 

[BigKen]

After a certain point, nursing homes won't take you.

My wife is a medical benefits expert. She's the only person that I know, who actually read all 4400 pages of the ACA and understood it. She worked for Anthem and their lawyers would come to her about the legal aspects of it. I always got pissed because she never demanded to paid what the lawyers were paid since she was advising them. None the less........

I asked her about your situation. She told me to advise you to call MEDICARE. If your MIL is a medicare patient, they will assist you in finding a rest home, rehab or hospice that will take care of her and her Medicare will cover the cost.

As much as I hate to admit it, 99.995% of the time she's dead nuts correct.

 

[Southieinnc]

My wife is a medical benefits expert. She's the only person that I know, who actually read all 4400 pages of the ACA and understood it. She worked for Anthem and their lawyers would come to her about the legal aspects of it. I always got pissed because she never demanded to paid what the lawyers were paid since she was advising them. None the less........

I asked her about your situation. She told me to advise you to call MEDICARE. If your MIL is a medicare patient, they will assist you in finding a rest home, rehab or hospice that will take care of her and her Medicare will cover the cost.

As much as I hate to admit it, 99.995% of the time she's dead nuts correct.

Sounds like good advice - but.
She has long term care insurance and my wife stands to lose her inheritance if Medicair gets involved. They clean the accounts out.

 

[BigKen]

Sounds like good advice - but.
She has long term care insurance and my wife stands to lose her inheritance if Medicair gets involved. They clean the accounts out.

Sign everything over ......NOW.

 

[Debbie Does]

Sounds like good advice - but.
She has long term care insurance and my wife stands to lose her inheritance if Medicair gets involved. They clean the accounts out.

Long Term Care seems like an investment, but it's really there to care for her in this sort of situation. It shouldn't be thought of as an inheritance to be maintained. It has a primary purpose and you need that now. Call their benefits people. They may be able to offer suggestions.

 

[Southieinnc]

Sign everything over ......NOW.

Run that by your wife.....

 

[Southieinnc]

Long Term Care seems like an investment, but it's really there to care for her in this sort of situation. It shouldn't be thought of as an inheritance to be maintained. It has a primary purpose and you need that now. Call their benefits people. They may be able to offer suggestions.

You misunderstand. We are hoping to use it if someone will accept her. It is not inheritable.
The only home that seems to want her is the funeral home.

 

[Debbie Does]

You misunderstand. We are hoping to use it if someone will accept her. It is not inheritable.
The only home that seems to want her is the funeral home.

You might be able to use it for in-home care.

I have a Long Term Care policy that is inheritable. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

 

[Southieinnc]

I have a Long Term Care policy that is inheritable.

Do you need my personal information?

 

[Debbie Does]

Do you need my personal information?

Wouldn't that make me an accessory?

 

[Yankee Traveler]

Wouldn't that make me an accessory?

And therefore expendable.

 

[Debbie Does]

And therefore expendable.

Or a liability, in Hillary-speak.

 

[nefansince75]

I lost my dad Oct 17, 1981 in a plane crash.
As it was, that was the same year my grandfather died. And the same year a couple friends of mine dies in a car accident, one of them the brother of my now wife. And the same year 3 people my age in my small town of 1000 committed suicide. And two others my age died in alcohol related car accidents. It was just a year of death and it changed me and how I viewed and reacted to death.
In 2019, memorial day weekend, I got a call at work from my wife tat her brother had called and my step dad had been in a car accident. Her brother works the volunteer rescue squad there. No word on condition, but I knew he was gone. A few hours later it was confirmed, massive heart attach and he drove off the road, a one vehicle crash.
When I told my boss I would need a few days he was shocked at my calmness and lack of anguish.
Ehh...it is what it is. It happens to the best of us, no matter what we do.
Sometimes it is totally out of our control; Plane crash, Tumor, heart attack (my step dad would ride his bike 50 miles at a time and was very conscientious about what he ate) or hit by a drunk driver.
Sometimes it's totally within our control; driving drunk, smoking and drinking too much, suck starting a shotgun.
But it's gonna happen. Enjoy those around you while you can and while they are still enjoyable.


FYI, I can never hear a CCR song without thinking of my stepdad and tearing up.

My 2017 doesn't compare to that but my mom and mom inlaw died within the same week. If that wasn't bad enough the year needed to kick me again, on the last day of the year my 6 year old dog died.

 

[Southieinnc]

My 2017 doesn't compare to that but my mom and mom inlaw died within the same week. If that wasn't bad enough the year needed to kick me again, on the last day of the year my 6 year old dog died.

I could top both of you with my 1986!

 

[Debbie Does]

I could top both of you with my 1986!

The year I got married. Gaaaaa!