Comedy CowPies in the 'Lumbus

[forty_three]

I'm here until Thursday - Try the veal and don't forget to tip your server.

And if the rumo(u)rs of PoolParty going to the A are true, then it's guaranteed PLD will stay up.

"See? we drafted an NHL ready player. I am smart. Rub my bald head for luck."

 

[esls79]

Hey Columbus, if you're going to copy a team, I wouldn't recommend the Dives

NHL Power Rankings: Penguins in top perch

 

[forty_three]

Hey Columbus, if you're going to copy a team, I wouldn't recommend the Dives

NHL Power Rankings: Penguins in top perch

Your team has Jared Boll. I will take no guff from you.



ESPN Web Production meeting:
Bucci: Is that Power ranking done?
Intern: Yeah, except I don't know what Columbus' logo looks like
Bucci: Pointy and Swoopy. Like hang on sloopy.
Intern: Got it.

 

[forty_three]

So, this looks like the the team the Jackets are going into battle with this year, in the groupings that Proven Winner (tm) John Q Tortorella has been running them in:

Jenner-Dubinsky-Atkinson
Saad-Gagner-Foligno
Hartnell-Wennberg-Bjorkstrand
Calvert-Karlsson-Anderson

Reserves; Sedlak, Dubois

Werenski-Jones
Murray- Savard
Nutivaara-Johnson

Reserves: Prout Harrington

Bob
Tabasco


In other news, they Jackets announce a new principal sponsor:

 

[KennyBanyeah]

So, this looks like the the team the Jackets are going into battle with this year, in the groupings that Proven Winner (tm) John Q Tortorella has been running them in:

Jenner-Dubinsky-Atkinson
Saad-Gagner-Foligno
Hartnell-Wennberg-Bjorkstrand
Calvert-Karlsson-Anderson

Reserves; Sedlak, Dubois

Werenski-Jones
Murray- Savard
Nutivaara-Johnson

Reserves: Prout Harrington

Bob
Tabasco


In other news, they Jackets announce a new principal sponsor:

Call me crazy but that lineup doesn't look TERRIBLE. AT least it looks like they're going to go with some speed and skill.

EDIT: Not that it SHOULD look terrible it's just that, you know, Tortorella.

 

[forty_three]

Call me crazy but that lineup doesn't look TERRIBLE. AT least it looks like they're going to go with some speed and skill.

EDIT: Not that it SHOULD look terrible it's just that, you know, Tortorella.

How many shots are tiny guys like Bjork, Atkinson and Gagner going to be able to block?


In the hands of another coach, I might be actually excited by that lineup (line tweaks notwithstanding). John Madden should have some success with that group next year.


In some positive Blue Jackets news:

Captain Nick and his wife gave a mil to the Hospital(s) that saved their daughter's life after she was born with a heart defect. She turns 3 this week.

I know Nationwide Children's hospital does good work. My son just came home from there yesterday after a 4 day bout with Pancreatitis. His second encounter with that place in six months. They've fixed him up good.

/yes, hes fine now. Aiming to go back to school tomorrow and back on the ice in a week.

 

[KennyBanyeah]

Always a class act that Foligno.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

How many shots are tiny guys like Bjork, Atkinson and Gagner going to be able to block?


In the hands of another coach, I might be actually excited by that lineup (line tweaks notwithstanding). John Madden should have some success with that group next year.


In some positive Blue Jackets news:

Captain Nick and his wife gave a mil to the Hospital(s) that saved their daughter's life after she was born with a heart defect. She turns 3 this week.

I know Nationwide Children's hospital does good work. My son just came home from there yesterday after a 4 day bout with Pancreatitis. His second encounter with that place in six months. They've fixed him up good.

/yes, hes fine now. Aiming to go back to school tomorrow and back on the ice in a week.

Bill Nye is a surgeon in Columbus now?

 

[forty_three]

Blue Jackets roster moves: Oct. 11

LOLWUT?

Alexander Wennberg, at times the #1C for the last two seasons, assigned to the AHL.

Pierre-Luc Dubois still here. Clarkman officially on LTIR.



Wait, WUT?

Dubois Up, Wennberg Sent Down ... But Wait A Minute

So, apparently, the Jackets are sending Dubois back to Cape Breton and will recall Wennberg on Wednesday, and by doing so, save 2m in cap space.

By keeping Dubois on the roster (and sending Wennberg down) at the season's start, the Blue Jackets are creating an additional $2 million of space under the salary cap. Dubois's contract allows him to earn $2.5 million in bonuses, whereas Wennberg's bonuses are capped at $475,000.

I don't understand. Were these salary cap rules written by a lawyer?

 

[gob]

What's your Jackets prediction for the season? Just reading over a lot of your posts, it looks like you're predicting some doom and gloom.

I'm pretty much still an NHL novice, but I tried to follow them more last year....so hard to when you see so many "L"s.

 

[forty_three]

What's your Jackets prediction for the season? Just reading over a lot of your posts, it looks like you're predicting some doom and gloom.

I'm pretty much still an NHL novice, but I tried to follow them more last year....so hard to when you see so many "L"s.

The Jackets have decent skill throughout the lineup and some extremely talented youngins who all just won a Calder Cup in the minor leagues. Oliver Bjorkstrand and Zach Werenski could both legitimately fight for the Calder Trophy as rookie of the year. And the Jackets are starting the season with Markus Nutivaara, Josh Anderson, and Lukas Sedlak who played huge roles on that championship.

But the Jackets have two really, really big black holes.
1) Health. They've been near the top of games lost to injury for two years running and unfortunately the guy most often hurt is the guy who has a greater impact on team fortunes that anyone else; Sergei Bobrovsky. When he is healthy and playing well, the team is instantly 25% better. He missed a huge portion of last season, and unfortunately the guy who came in and played goal well, Joonas Korpisalo, got hurt himself and will miss a month. So if Bob gets hurt early, the team will suffer because the existing backup goalie, Curtis McIlhinney, is... in a word... bad. Like, really bad. The Jackets also needed a Center with top tier talent, and they signed a guy with skill, Sam Gagner. But he is often hurt and they really need a good run out of him.

2) Their coach. John Tortorella is combative, teaches a slow, tight and defensive game, and puts a premium on blocking shots against. The big issues with that are when you are blocking shots it means the other guys have the puck, and blocking shots hurts. When you block a shot in your zone, it slows your breakout down. With the players we have, speed should be a priority, and in his systems it usually isn't. Plus he has an established history of randomly attacking top level talent whether they deserve it or not (see Ryan Johansen last season) and not caring at all about young players, which is (or should be) the life blood of this team. The year before last when everything collapsed on the team with injuries, all they had was locker room harmony and a desire to fight for each other. Now, they don't even have that. And the coach wants it that way.

Most coaches would be able to do something positive with the roster. I have no faith this coach can. At least not enough.

 

[gob]

The Jackets have decent skill throughout the lineup and some extremely talented youngins who all just won a Calder Cup in the minor leagues. Oliver Bjorkstrand and Zach Werenski could both legitimately fight for the Calder Trophy as rookie of the year. And the Jackets are starting the season with Markus Nutivaara, Josh Anderson, and Lukas Sedlak who played huge roles on that championship.

But the Jackets have two really, really big black holes.
1) Health. They've been near the top of games lost to injury for two years running and unfortunately the guy most often hurt is the guy who has a greater impact on team fortunes that anyone else; Sergei Bobrovsky. When he is healthy and playing well, the team is instantly 25% better. He missed a huge portion of last season, and unfortunately the guy who came in and played goal well, Joonas Korpisalo, got hurt himself and will miss a month. So if Bob gets hurt early, the team will suffer because the existing backup goalie, Curtis McIlhinney, is... in a word... bad. Like, really bad. The Jackets also needed a Center with top tier talent, and they signed a guy with skill, Sam Gagner. But he is often hurt and they really need a good run out of him.

2) Their coach. John Tortorella is combative, teaches a slow, tight and defensive game, and puts a premium on blocking shots against. The big issues with that are when you are blocking shots it means the other guys have the puck, and blocking shots hurts. When you block a shot in your zone, it slows your breakout down. With the players we have, speed should be a priority, and in his systems it usually isn't. Plus he has an established history of randomly attacking top level talent whether they deserve it or not (see Ryan Johansen last season) and not caring at all about young players, which is (or should be) the life blood of this team. The year before last when everything collapsed on the team with injuries, all they had was locker room harmony and a desire to fight for each other. Now, they don't even have that. And the coach wants it that way.

Most coaches would be able to do something positive with the roster. I have no faith this coach can. At least not enough.

I definitely have noticed your Torts hate in here, haha.

 

[esls79]

No Jared Boll on the roster equals about 8 extra points in the standings.

 

[forty_three]

I definitely have noticed your Torts hate in here, haha.

This isn't new. I've hated him since he coached the Lightning. It's gotten worse since I've moved up the USA Hockey coaching ladder myself.

No Jared Boll on the roster equals about 8 extra points in the standings.

From your mouth to God's ears.


We also got rid of Rene Bourque. That should be 4 more.

 

[forty_three]

What this means is; if you ask him if your job is safe, he is going to kill you.

Blue Jackets | Tortorella aims at fixing team culture

“We’re going to be the best third-period team in league,” is how he put it one day last week.

That's a continuation of how they've been a great team after they have been eliminated from playoff contention.

You can kick ass in the Third Period when you're already down by 4

 

[forty_three]

EJ Hradek just said this game is a must win for the Jackets.

Opening night.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

I think the only thing that's safe for Torts right now is his current playoff drought (sorry 43).

 

[forty_three]

Zach Werenski just got his first NHL assist in his first shift.

Auston who?

 

[esls79]

Zach Werenski just got his first NHL assist in his first shift.

Auston who?

Was it a tertiary assist?


/Torts let him know an assist isn't a blocked shot when he got back to the bench

 

[forty_three]

I am not sure the Jackets blocked a single shot in that period.