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Comedy CowPies in the 'Lumbus

forty_three

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We needed a swift kick in the arse

It's the punches to the nuts, kicks to the face, public hangings, castrations and belittlements that is too much.

I expect a good 40 - 45 games. then the trade deadline, people will ask out (or he'll demand certain guys who won't block shots go) and by this time next year it will be a bigger dumpster fire than it is right now.

Just with less good guys in the room.
 

Sgt Brutus

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It's the punches to the nuts, kicks to the face, public hangings, castrations and belittlements that is too much.

I expect a good 40 - 45 games. then the trade deadline, people will ask out (or he'll demand certain guys who won't block shots go) and by this time next year it will be a bigger dumpster fire than it is right now.

Just with less good guys in the room.
It's been a dumpster fire since 2000
 

puckhead

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Given that CBus has to give up the 2nd rounder in one of the next three years,
I wonder whether Torts will still be there by the time the pick is moved.
 

forty_three

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Given that CBus has to give up the 2nd rounder in one of the next three years,
I wonder whether Torts will still be there by the time the pick is moved.

If there is power in prayer, he won't.
 

RP-29

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If there is power in prayer, he won't.

Who are you praying to?

If you're praying to God for someone's demise for your own selfish reasons, chances are good God's gonna roll his eyes and hang up the phone on you. If you're praying to someone like Satan or Muhammad or Emperor Palpatine or Donald Trump or Roger Goodell, then things might happen for you.
 

forty_three

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So, one thing I keep hearing is that he's a winner, a "proven" winner. I looked up his career record and as a coach overall his win pct is .483 (playoffs) and .538 (regular season).

A few coaches with a better record in the playoffs:
Mike Milbury
Ron Wilson
Paul Holmgren
Rick Bowness
Barry Melrose
Terry Crisp
Randy Carlyle
Don Cherry
Craig MacTavish


Bolded are better regular season too. Torts has two years to win 200 and equal Jacques Martin.

Sortable list:
NHL Coach Register | Hockey-Reference.com

I have to share this here because I am growing tired of being told to "learn about hockey" in other sites. The feebs over there might literally shit themselves if I posted this.

Who are you praying to?

If you're praying to God for someone's demise for your own selfish reasons, chances are good God's gonna roll his eyes and hang up the phone on you. If you're praying to someone like Satan or Muhammad or Emperor Palpatine or Donald Trump or Roger Goodell, then things might happen for you.

Ha! That's a trick. They are all the same person!

But, as I always do, I am praying to The Ryan. A-Miller.
 

jstewismybastardson

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43, pray to Oprah ... worked for me :thumb:
 

Puck082

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With a 3 year contract we can expect a bump in this thread probably around this time next year.
 

Bloody Brian Burke

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A few coaches with a better record in the playoffs:
Mike Milbury
Ron Wilson
Paul Holmgren
Rick Bowness
Barry Melrose
Terry Crisp
Randy Carlyle
Don Cherry
Craig MacTavish
Hey, on the plus side 8 of those guys have coached their team to the Stanley Cup Final!

Only 2 ended up winning, but hey!
 

forty_three

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Twatwaffle at his best, from the BlueJackets chat today;

I would put Johansen on the 'ones to watch" list with Tortorello behind the bench. The body language hasn't been good for a while now with Johansen. The line changes have been slow, and that's an indicator of so many things. Johansen is not a bad kid, but one symptom of his frustration is to sulk and get dejected. Let's be honest: players who are All-Stars or first-round draft picks do get special treatment. It's REALLY easy to scratch Cam Atkinson or Rene Bourque or other guys. It takes you-know-whats to scratch the most talented player on the team, but Tortorella has a history of making such bold moves. Players will be benched. It shouldn't be seen as picking on the kid, but an attempt to motivate and make him better. But when you're young and so damn talented, it can be hard to differentiate.

Latest Chat Transcript

He's starting up the pretty hate machine on Johansen early so when Ryan says "Fuck this shot blocking shit" and asks for a trade, the fans can turn on him as fast as they did Nash.

Johansen put this team on his back last year, and this year has been one of the few consistent bright spots. He is not only chasing pucks harder than anyone else, but he is actually hitting this year more than I've ever seen.
 

esls79

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Ruh roh. Wild score the first goal five minutes in.
 

forty_three

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2-1 at the break with Dubinsky cashing in on the PP. One period down, no players crying yet.

Ice level mics are picking up some of Torts on the bench on the Jackets broadcast.

Not sure if he's behaving because he knows that or if he's still just stunned someone hired him, but it's all been positive. When he sees something good like a forward covering pinching D or a good battle for the puck he's yelling out "That's it, that's what we want to see" for the bench.

Line combos are interesting:
Saad - Johansen - Foligno
Calvert - Dubinsky - Jenner
Hartnell - Wennberg - Atkinson
Campbell - Karlsson - Clarkson

Other than Calvert not being ready for the ice time he's getting, that's pretty good.
 
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