A Brilliant Idea To Make Individual Awards Mean Something

[Eddie_Shack]

Individual awards are stupid. Let's make them valuable. I am proposing the following changes, effective immediately.

Lady Byng Winner: Gets to stab a player of his choice on the ice at any moment during the season following his win. No blades longer than 6", no stabbing above the shoulders. Stab must occur during game play or after-whistle scrum.

Selke Award Winner: Is allowed to use a lasso in a game of his choice during the season following his win. Lasso must not be longer than 10' in overall length, no lassoing players on the bench or refs.

Rocket Richard Winner: Is allowed to throw the puck into the goal in any game, at any time, during the season following his win, provided the goal will earn him a hat trick. Player must use puck that is in play, may not provide own second puck for said goal.

Any other ideas, guys?

 

[sbb122]

I swear i heard a guy on the radio talking about this...

 

[Bizzle McDizzle]

Highest scoring player on individual teams gets his pick of any of the ladies in the first 10 rows in the first game in the other teams barn Boomchikkabowwow

 

[banditshcky11]

The Veznia trophy winner gets to take himself out of the game and put in a mechanical gate that opens and closes rapidly(think demon net in mutant league hockey for Sega) so he can enjoy a beer and hit on hockey hoes.

 

[Bizzle McDizzle]

The Veznia trophy winner gets to take himself out of the game and put in a mechanical gate that opens and closes rapidly(think demon net in mutant league hockey for Sega) so he can enjoy a beer and hit on hockey hoes.

Marty Brodeur thinks this idea is about 10 years too late in being proposed

 

[banditshcky11]

Marty Brodeur thinks this idea is about 10 years too late in being proposed

well Marty put himself in a bad situation by being addicted to canoli's and squirt cheese

 

[Bizzle McDizzle]

well Marty put himself in a bad situation by being addicted to canoli's and squirt cheese

and female relatives


heyyyoooooooooo

 

[banditshcky11]

and female relatives


heyyyoooooooooo

only the ones directly related though, he never got into those 2nd and 3rd cousins.

 

[MadCaptain]

The Calder winner is allowed to wear any colored jersey and is allowed to sell off all parts of his jersey for advertising. This is done so the player can still get attention after losing his rookie designation and disappearing into the crowd. This is a lifetime privilege and past winners are granted permission as well.

Now people will know how good Andrew Raycroft, Steve Mason, and Barret Jackman are!

 

[MadCaptain]

The Mark Messier leadership award winner is allowed to cry during all future games and the media is only allowed to write positive articles about the crying.

 

[Bizzle McDizzle]

The Calder winner is allowed to wear any colored jersey and is allowed to sell off all parts of his jersey for advertising. This is done so the player can still get attention after losing his rookie designation and disappearing into the crowd. This is a lifetime privilege and past winners are granted permission as well.

Now people will know how good Andrew Raycroft, Steve Mason, and Barret Jackman are!

no one could ever forget about Jeff Skinner and what he looks like

 

[Comeds]

The team with the Norris Trophy winner on it gets a pair of handcuffs. At any time during the season if an opposing player gets sent to the penalty box the team can handcuff them in there for the remainder of the game. Suddenly Malkin's first period two minutes for an inadvertent high stick turns into a 44 minute penalty.