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averagejoe
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders.
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We have unexpectedly met another milestone. Back in the year 2013, in the month of April, without warning, the CBS Message Board was shut down for good. The MBBRL took refuge here.
Over 1000 pages have been written, yet page 1 post 1 was inaugurated on April 21, 2013. Many of our profiles date back to April 2013.
Now perhaps our elementary school math skills will say that this is only 9 years ago. However, since we did have a 2013 fantasy season here on “the Hoop,” that would mean that 2022 marks the tenth fantasy season.
A DECADE.
Sadly, we lost some comrades during the migration from CBS that year. Over the years that followed, oblivion and other factors resulted in more losses. Some may be missed more than others perhaps, but they all will be a part of our legacy. That said, on the cusp of our deca-season, I wanted to share some of my favorite or more memorable posts in that span of time.
Naturally, it is imperative that I start with The Golden Mountain Saga. This was posted in 3 iconic stories which poked fun at the grandiose, bold and unsubstantiated fantasy claims of our buddy “The Foot.” As a preamble to this saga and to get a glimpse of the type of character that made him unique, legend has it that The Foot was quoted as saying, “I may have taught you all you know, but I haven't taught you all I know." Inspiration was thus born. Here is the complete GMS trilogy:
The Golden Mountain Saga
Part 1 authored and inspired by wilwhite
Ah, yes, I remember - we were just a rag-tag bunch of young good-for-nothings united by the common call... let us brave the elements and try to reach the monastery, in the clouded and awe-inspiring heights of the Golden Mountain, there - if worthy - to spend years sleeping on stone floors and eating nothing but wild grass, to bend our whole being into the singular pursuit of knowledge, to be permitted to kneel at the throne of The Foot and hear his terrible and mystifying koans. I remember young Lefty daring to say, "But Master, is it not better to have a mighty QB whose path is known, and who will surely score more points?" and Foot fixing his milky gaze upon the trembling Lefty and saying, "Your words betray everything you have still not understood, young acolyte. Is not one handful of oats lost in the recesses of an abandoned farmhouse worth more than a thousand sacks of gold in your grasp?"
And after these many years, we are still blind, o Foot, blind to your brilliance, and uncomprehending of your rankings.
Part 2 - the saga continues authored by leftypower.
And it came to pass, that young Lefty, stunned by the sharp words, descended from the Golden Mountain, where Master Foot sits upon his throne amusing himself with delusions of grandeur. It was along the forbidden trail, that a bewildered Lefty came upon 10 great men who were governors, each of their own fantasy kingdoms. After much discussion and sharing of thoughts, they asked him to join them in an alliance of knowledge, one to be known far and wide as Keepers of the Flame. Among the great men were; Wil of White, Sam of Sports, Fuzzy of Yellow, Doug of Beer, Dub of Cheese, Scape of Goat. There was also a well-bread and learned commoner, known simply as Joe the Average who knew of all things mathematical in the fantasy world.
During their quest for greater knowledge, the 11 came upon 4 learned Barbarians who were seeking safe haven on the Golden Mountain. They are known as; Ram the Tuff, Hawk the Prophet, Smoker of Monkeys, and Dog of Strange Avatar. The 11 were taken aback by the opinions and thoughts of the 4, and made offer for them to join in their quest.
The 11 and 4 then wondered through internet valleys, printed words, and the teaching of rival Masters. They came to stay with the Masters known as Dave & Jamey, Rotoworld, Yoda (John of Paulsen), Bruno of Boys, and several others, in a secret cave near the base of the mountain. It was there that they drank spirits, ate, and discussed all things fantasy for 40 days and 40 nights in secret rituals. It is believed that the meetings went unbeknown to Master Foot, as he was performing his own ritual writing “I am a fantasy God - I know all and see all” over and over for the same 40 days and nights.
Having learned many things during their stay with the rival Masters, the 11 and 4 went forth to assemble their armies for battle. On the day of reckoning, the 11 and 4 did assembled great armies, using the knowledge of the rival Masters and their new forged alliance. Lo, Master Foot was not impressed as the 11 allowed Sir Joe of Flacco to join his allegiance in the 2nd round, and Journeyman Ryan of Tannehill later on the same day. But alas, Master Foot was blinded by his own glow, and could not see that although the two possess golden arms, there was no one worthy to receive their gifts.
It then came to pass, on the 5th day of the 9th month, the 11 began their assent to the top of the Golden Mountain. The 4 went on to wage their own battle with other barbarians seeking to ascend from the low lands to a rocky cliff on the mountain. The 11 fought long and hard among themselves in preparation for the given week when they would be face to face with Master Foot. 12 epic battles raged on different fronts for 16 full weeks, and then peace settled over the lands for a brief period. Master Foot was conquered and banished from the mountain.
It is said, the once proud Master Foot has been seen in tattered "I am the greatest" clothing, making effort to lord over Barbarians in a desert far south of the majestic Golden Mountain. His kingdom has since dwindled to a few family members and several local podiatrists. Episode IV - The End.
Part 3 - The Fall of the CBS Message Board plagiarized by averagejoe
Banishment. The destruction of all things CBS left thousands, if not hundreds, without a source of comfort and all things fantasy. The 11 and 4 were suddenly scattered throughout cyberspace, forbidden from assembling together. Thus, there was much sadness.
Wil of White and the commoner Joe of Average engaged on quest to unite the 11 and 4. Using extrasensory perception of Nee, or ESPN, our mighty yet humble band of heroes attempted to join forces once more. But the destruction of all things CBS had a profound effect on ESPN.
Meanwhile the Proud Master Foot was not-so secretly at work building a Death Star, known only as “MWHS.” A narcissistic lair that would enable him to control unsuspecting fantasy apprentices that approached. He would lure them with promises of games and accuracy. All of Master Foot’s plans were orchestrated through his top henchmen, known only has CJ1K and MJD the Lisfranc. If only Journeyman Ryan of Tannehill was as accurate. But I digress, since many a henchman have fallen at the tyrannical reign of Master Foot – the suddenly unwanted Joe of Flacco and Beast Hillis to name two.
Weeks, if not days, had passed and the 11 and 4 were suffering the effects of non-fantasy discussions and camaraderie. There was much sadness.
When suddenly, Wil of White was drawn to the golden glow emanating from the SportsHoopla of Sports. Using his natural ability of superior reasoning and all things organized, Sir Wil then summoned Joe of Average to assemble the Keepers of the Flame in the shadow of the MWHS Death Star.
And so it came to pass that in the Fourth month on the twenty-first day, the 11 and 4 began to return from their banishment. Sam of Sports, Fuzzy of Yellow, Doug of Beer, Dub of Cheese, Scape of Goat. Alas, some of our heroes are still unaccounted for, such as Hawk the Prophet and Dog of Strange Avatar. Thus, there was much sadness.
However the strong Treff of Lost Avi was bitter over the banishment due to what he had lost, and solemnly vowed to the remnant of the 11 and 4 that he would execute vengeance. And Treff of Lost Avi did so vow in extreme profanities to excess.
end
Over 1000 pages have been written, yet page 1 post 1 was inaugurated on April 21, 2013. Many of our profiles date back to April 2013.
Now perhaps our elementary school math skills will say that this is only 9 years ago. However, since we did have a 2013 fantasy season here on “the Hoop,” that would mean that 2022 marks the tenth fantasy season.
A DECADE.
Sadly, we lost some comrades during the migration from CBS that year. Over the years that followed, oblivion and other factors resulted in more losses. Some may be missed more than others perhaps, but they all will be a part of our legacy. That said, on the cusp of our deca-season, I wanted to share some of my favorite or more memorable posts in that span of time.
Naturally, it is imperative that I start with The Golden Mountain Saga. This was posted in 3 iconic stories which poked fun at the grandiose, bold and unsubstantiated fantasy claims of our buddy “The Foot.” As a preamble to this saga and to get a glimpse of the type of character that made him unique, legend has it that The Foot was quoted as saying, “I may have taught you all you know, but I haven't taught you all I know." Inspiration was thus born. Here is the complete GMS trilogy:
The Golden Mountain Saga
Part 1 authored and inspired by wilwhite
Ah, yes, I remember - we were just a rag-tag bunch of young good-for-nothings united by the common call... let us brave the elements and try to reach the monastery, in the clouded and awe-inspiring heights of the Golden Mountain, there - if worthy - to spend years sleeping on stone floors and eating nothing but wild grass, to bend our whole being into the singular pursuit of knowledge, to be permitted to kneel at the throne of The Foot and hear his terrible and mystifying koans. I remember young Lefty daring to say, "But Master, is it not better to have a mighty QB whose path is known, and who will surely score more points?" and Foot fixing his milky gaze upon the trembling Lefty and saying, "Your words betray everything you have still not understood, young acolyte. Is not one handful of oats lost in the recesses of an abandoned farmhouse worth more than a thousand sacks of gold in your grasp?"
And after these many years, we are still blind, o Foot, blind to your brilliance, and uncomprehending of your rankings.
Part 2 - the saga continues authored by leftypower.
And it came to pass, that young Lefty, stunned by the sharp words, descended from the Golden Mountain, where Master Foot sits upon his throne amusing himself with delusions of grandeur. It was along the forbidden trail, that a bewildered Lefty came upon 10 great men who were governors, each of their own fantasy kingdoms. After much discussion and sharing of thoughts, they asked him to join them in an alliance of knowledge, one to be known far and wide as Keepers of the Flame. Among the great men were; Wil of White, Sam of Sports, Fuzzy of Yellow, Doug of Beer, Dub of Cheese, Scape of Goat. There was also a well-bread and learned commoner, known simply as Joe the Average who knew of all things mathematical in the fantasy world.
During their quest for greater knowledge, the 11 came upon 4 learned Barbarians who were seeking safe haven on the Golden Mountain. They are known as; Ram the Tuff, Hawk the Prophet, Smoker of Monkeys, and Dog of Strange Avatar. The 11 were taken aback by the opinions and thoughts of the 4, and made offer for them to join in their quest.
The 11 and 4 then wondered through internet valleys, printed words, and the teaching of rival Masters. They came to stay with the Masters known as Dave & Jamey, Rotoworld, Yoda (John of Paulsen), Bruno of Boys, and several others, in a secret cave near the base of the mountain. It was there that they drank spirits, ate, and discussed all things fantasy for 40 days and 40 nights in secret rituals. It is believed that the meetings went unbeknown to Master Foot, as he was performing his own ritual writing “I am a fantasy God - I know all and see all” over and over for the same 40 days and nights.
Having learned many things during their stay with the rival Masters, the 11 and 4 went forth to assemble their armies for battle. On the day of reckoning, the 11 and 4 did assembled great armies, using the knowledge of the rival Masters and their new forged alliance. Lo, Master Foot was not impressed as the 11 allowed Sir Joe of Flacco to join his allegiance in the 2nd round, and Journeyman Ryan of Tannehill later on the same day. But alas, Master Foot was blinded by his own glow, and could not see that although the two possess golden arms, there was no one worthy to receive their gifts.
It then came to pass, on the 5th day of the 9th month, the 11 began their assent to the top of the Golden Mountain. The 4 went on to wage their own battle with other barbarians seeking to ascend from the low lands to a rocky cliff on the mountain. The 11 fought long and hard among themselves in preparation for the given week when they would be face to face with Master Foot. 12 epic battles raged on different fronts for 16 full weeks, and then peace settled over the lands for a brief period. Master Foot was conquered and banished from the mountain.
It is said, the once proud Master Foot has been seen in tattered "I am the greatest" clothing, making effort to lord over Barbarians in a desert far south of the majestic Golden Mountain. His kingdom has since dwindled to a few family members and several local podiatrists. Episode IV - The End.
Part 3 - The Fall of the CBS Message Board plagiarized by averagejoe
Banishment. The destruction of all things CBS left thousands, if not hundreds, without a source of comfort and all things fantasy. The 11 and 4 were suddenly scattered throughout cyberspace, forbidden from assembling together. Thus, there was much sadness.
Wil of White and the commoner Joe of Average engaged on quest to unite the 11 and 4. Using extrasensory perception of Nee, or ESPN, our mighty yet humble band of heroes attempted to join forces once more. But the destruction of all things CBS had a profound effect on ESPN.
Meanwhile the Proud Master Foot was not-so secretly at work building a Death Star, known only as “MWHS.” A narcissistic lair that would enable him to control unsuspecting fantasy apprentices that approached. He would lure them with promises of games and accuracy. All of Master Foot’s plans were orchestrated through his top henchmen, known only has CJ1K and MJD the Lisfranc. If only Journeyman Ryan of Tannehill was as accurate. But I digress, since many a henchman have fallen at the tyrannical reign of Master Foot – the suddenly unwanted Joe of Flacco and Beast Hillis to name two.
Weeks, if not days, had passed and the 11 and 4 were suffering the effects of non-fantasy discussions and camaraderie. There was much sadness.
When suddenly, Wil of White was drawn to the golden glow emanating from the SportsHoopla of Sports. Using his natural ability of superior reasoning and all things organized, Sir Wil then summoned Joe of Average to assemble the Keepers of the Flame in the shadow of the MWHS Death Star.
And so it came to pass that in the Fourth month on the twenty-first day, the 11 and 4 began to return from their banishment. Sam of Sports, Fuzzy of Yellow, Doug of Beer, Dub of Cheese, Scape of Goat. Alas, some of our heroes are still unaccounted for, such as Hawk the Prophet and Dog of Strange Avatar. Thus, there was much sadness.
However the strong Treff of Lost Avi was bitter over the banishment due to what he had lost, and solemnly vowed to the remnant of the 11 and 4 that he would execute vengeance. And Treff of Lost Avi did so vow in extreme profanities to excess.
end
fellas.
, the antidote right in front of you, is there a way out of this without tearing your forearms to pieces? Looks like three rookie runners catching the right Brees is the key.
