The greatest sports taboo...the openly gay player

[apachef4]

why do those pro athletes in question have to be "openly" gay ... cant they just be gay. I think if you polled all pro athletes youd get a majority saying they have no problem with gays on their teams, just dont tell us about it ... do they seriously want to challenge the locker room ethos whereby everyone conforms ... breaking news: if you dont fit in for any reason in team sports, youre not gonna last long

is there something to gain for them to announce this to the world

im sure in the history of pro sports as we know it there have been hundreds of people who were gay. And Im sure some of those hundred were all star calibre. Yes the attitudes that are prevalent in lockerrooms may have driven some out of their sports because they couldnt overcome the rumours but what is coming out of the closet going to solve

some gay athletes have succeeded and some failed ... memo to everyone ... same can be said about all aspiring athletes, gay or straight ... seems like the only time a gay athlete comes out is post career, and to me, their coming out is more about explaining why they failed as athletes and using the excuse of being gay as a crutch ... that coaches knew deep down they were gay and ostracized them and kept them off of this team or sabotaged their development because of it.

these excuses are similar to the excuses i hear playing slo-pitch from the fat dude who said he could been a pro "but it was all politics" ... lame if you ask me!

I'm not so sure that they "need" to be openly gay. Problem is, if they don't lie about it, then it becomes a big deal and is going to be a huge press fiasco whether they want it to or not. The article mainly deals with the inner torture the guy went through because he wasn't honest. If a teammate asks him: "Do you have a girlfriend?" and he responds: "No, I have a boyfriend", is that flaunting it, or just a statement of fact about his life?

 

[elocomotive]

why do those pro athletes in question have to be "openly" gay ... cant they just be gay. I think if you polled all pro athletes youd get a majority saying they have no problem with gays on their teams, just dont tell us about it ... do they seriously want to challenge the locker room ethos whereby everyone conforms ... breaking news: if you dont fit in for any reason in team sports, youre not gonna last long

is there something to gain for them to announce this to the world

im sure in the history of pro sports as we know it there have been hundreds of people who were gay. And Im sure some of those hundred were all star calibre. Yes the attitudes that are prevalent in lockerrooms may have driven some out of their sports because they couldnt overcome the rumours but what is coming out of the closet going to solve

some gay athletes have succeeded and some failed ... memo to everyone ... same can be said about all aspiring athletes, gay or straight ... seems like the only time a gay athlete comes out is post career, and to me, their coming out is more about explaining why they failed as athletes and using the excuse of being gay as a crutch ... that coaches knew deep down they were gay and ostracized them and kept them off of this team or sabotaged their development because of it.

these excuses are similar to the excuses i hear playing slo-pitch from the fat dude who said he could been a pro "but it was all politics" ... lame if you ask me!

I think mostly it's about them not having to lie about who they are. As to the second part that is bolded, I could get angry and go off, but I'll just say link?

Btw, good post, Sly.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

I'm not so sure that they "need" to be openly gay. Problem is, if they don't lie about it, then it becomes a big deal and is going to be a huge press fiasco whether they want it to or not. The article mainly deals with the inner torture the guy went through because he wasn't honest. If a teammate asks him: "Do you have a girlfriend?" and he responds: "No, I have a boyfriend", is that flaunting it, or just a statement of fact about his life?

if he responds ... "nope i dont have a girlfriend" ... thats a statement of fact too right?

I dont want to come across as not having any empathy for the inner turmoil gay athletes go through day to day because they might have to lie to others or themselves

its tyranny of the majority in a lockerroom environment and i dont know what guys coming out of the closet accomplishes for the team

 

[SLY]

why do those pro athletes in question have to be "openly" gay ... cant they just be gay. I think if you polled all pro athletes youd get a majority saying they have no problem with gays on their teams, just dont tell us about it ... do they seriously want to challenge the locker room ethos whereby everyone conforms ... breaking news: if you dont fit in for any reason in team sports, youre not gonna last long

is there something to gain for them to announce this to the world

im sure in the history of pro sports as we know it there have been hundreds of people who were gay. And Im sure some of those hundred were all star calibre. Yes the attitudes that are prevalent in lockerrooms may have driven some out of their sports because they couldnt overcome the rumours but what is coming out of the closet going to solve

some gay athletes have succeeded and some failed ... memo to everyone ... same can be said about all aspiring athletes, gay or straight ... seems like the only time a gay athlete comes out is post career, and to me, their coming out is more about explaining why they failed as athletes and using the excuse of being gay as a crutch ... that coaches knew deep down they were gay and ostracized them and kept them off of this team or sabotaged their development because of it.

these excuses are similar to the excuses i hear playing slo-pitch from the fat dude who said he could been a pro "but it was all politics" ... lame if you ask me!

Very good point. Its not like people are openly straight... You dont have to run around yelling your sexual orientation flamboyantly. If your gay, your gay. If someone asks, just say yes, and thats it. No need to have a news conference about it.

 

[SLY]

I think mostly it's about them not having to lie about who they are. As to the second part that is bolded, I could get angry and go off, but I'll just say link?

Btw, good post, Sly.

Thanks eloco.

 

[apachef4]

if he responds ... "nope i dont have a girlfriend" ... thats a statement of fact too right?

I dont want to come across as not having any empathy for the inner turmoil gay athletes go through day to day because they might have to lie to others or themselves

its tyranny of the majority in a lockerroom environment and i dont know what guys coming out of the closet accomplishes for the team

It is still a statement of fact, but it is also hiding who he really feels he is from the rest of the world. It's a lie of ommission. He can never bring a partner to a team event, or anywhere where a teammate, the press, or anyone who knows him can see him. He can't share any of his professional success with the person that he's closest to. How can he be a good teammate if he can't share what is one of the largest parts of his life with said teammates honestly? What good are those other teammates doing the team if they ostracize a player that can help him on the field due to something that is off the field and has nothing to do with them?

As for the "tyranny of the majority" in the locker room, I hear what you're saying there, I really do. It is one of the main reasons that I believe someone in American sports will have a hell of a time coming out. If they have the backing of the locker room, they've got a shot at a positive outcome. Unfortunately, I don't think that's likely, at least for now.

 

[apachef4]

Very good point. Its not like people are openly straight... You dont have to run around yelling your sexual orientation flamboyantly. If your gay, your gay. If someone asks, just say yes, and thats it. No need to have a news conference about it.

People are openly straight all the time, we just don't notice it. Many people brag about their sexual conquests to friends, famous people have no shame in walking around with the hottest eye candy they can find. Athletes flaunt their wives and kids at championship press conferences; hell, sometimes they run into the stands and give them a big smooch for all the world to see. A straight guy does that to his wife, he's showing his affection and humanity; a gay guy does it to his boyfriend and he's flaunting his homosexuality.

Look, I know I'm coming across as very pro-homosexuality. In reality, it makes me uncomfortable as hell. But I am very pro-individualism. People should be able to do what makes them happy; gay people don't hurt the rest of us, so I'm going to defend their right to be gay.

 

[sportfan09]

first guy to come out would be on a bruins team lol gloves off jeff go flyers lol

 

[jstewismybastardson]

It is still a statement of fact, but it is also hiding who he really feels he is from the rest of the world. It's a lie of ommission. He can never bring a partner to a team event, or anywhere where a teammate, the press, or anyone who knows him can see him. He can't share any of his professional success with the person that he's closest to. How can he be a good teammate if he can't share what is one of the largest parts of his life with said teammates honestly? What good are those other teammates doing the team if they ostracize a player that can help him on the field due to something that is off the field and has nothing to do with them?

As for the "tyranny of the majority" in the locker room, I hear what you're saying there, I really do. It is one of the main reasons that I believe someone in American sports will have a hell of a time coming out. If they have the backing of the locker room, they've got a shot at a positive outcome. Unfortunately, I don't think that's likely, at least for now.

maybe Im just hyper cynical but to me youre over-sentimentalizing the idea of relationship in your first paragraph ... I mean we're talking about pro athletes here ... and for the straight ones, marriages might exist but serial monogamy? not so much

 

[Forty_Sixand2]

It is still a statement of fact, but it is also hiding who he really feels he is from the rest of the world. It's a lie of ommission. He can never bring a partner to a team event, or anywhere where a teammate, the press, or anyone who knows him can see him. He can't share any of his professional success with the person that he's closest to. How can he be a good teammate if he can't share what is one of the largest parts of his life with said teammates honestly? What good are those other teammates doing the team if they ostracize a player that can help him on the field due to something that is off the field and has nothing to do with them?

As for the "tyranny of the majority" in the locker room, I hear what you're saying there, I really do. It is one of the main reasons that I believe someone in American sports will have a hell of a time coming out. If they have the backing of the locker room, they've got a shot at a positive outcome. Unfortunately, I don't think that's likely, at least for now.

These are both very good points.

Additionally, I think that there may be some merit to being open about it. It starts the conversation. Someone has to be the pariah/hero. We can say that it should not be an issue, but it really is. It will be frightening and scary to be that guy, but if his teammates and coach come out and openly embrace him, it will make it easier for others to come out.

People say "who cares" and "it shouldn't have to be open" are seeing sports as something that they are not. You saw, from 24/7 as an example that families interact and become friends. Wives and kids play together and share a box at the games. Christmas parties happen. If a guy wants to be a part of that, and bring the person he loves with him, and that person is a male, it should not be something he has to think twice about.

Everyone wants to share experiences with the people they love. If you have to hide who you do love, and show affection from afar, that has to suck. Bill Cowher holds his wife close after the Super Bowl, in a true sign of love and affection. Shouldn't everyone be allowed to share that.

I don't know what this is like. I imagine it has to HAS TO suck though. I enjoy sharing accomplishments with my girlfriend, and did with my ex-wife. It would suck when they were not there.

I don't know. I am just rambling now....

 

[apachef4]

maybe Im just hyper cynical but to me youre over-sentimentalizing the idea of relationship in your first paragraph ... I mean we're talking about pro athletes here ... and for the straight ones, marriages might exist but serial monogamy? not so much

Lol, monogamy in sports is a WHOLE other subject, my friend! But the point remains the same, even if he is (like most of his teammates) a cheating bastard. It's a whole side of his life that we're asking to remain completely secret from everyone in fear that it will get out and cause him to "flaunt his homosexuality".

On another note, anyone else notice that the ads at the top of this thread are now all "Gay Personals"? I hope that's not just directed at me!

 

[Forty_Sixand2]

Lol, monogamy in sports is a WHOLE other subject, my friend! But the point remains the same, even if he is (like most of his teammates) a cheating bastard. It's a whole side of his life that we're asking to remain completely secret from everyone in fear that it will get out and cause him to "flaunt his homosexuality".

On another note, anyone else notice that the ads at the top of this thread are now all "Gay Personals"? I hope that's not just directed at me!

Mine are cheap replica jerseys....

Maybe it is your avatar....

 

[apachef4]

These are both very good points.

Additionally, I think that there may be some merit to being open about it. It starts the conversation. Someone has to be the pariah/hero. We can say that it should not be an issue, but it really is. It will be frightening and scary to be that guy, but if his teammates and coach come out and openly embrace him, it will make it easier for others to come out.

Agreed. I think it's very easy for all of us to say "just be open about it" when it's not our life that will be torn to shreds. It happens enough with celebrities anyway, but I think that would be on a whole other level, being the FIRST to do it.

 

[apachef4]

Mine are cheap replica jerseys....

Maybe it is your avatar....

Wait, Mike Green riding his scooter on national television in sub-freezing temperatures is gay? Well, I guess it kind of is...

 

[SLY]

first guy to come out would be on a bruins team lol gloves off jeff go flyers lol

Its on tonight mofo! Theres gonna be a beatdown in beantown... And to clarify, it will be the fairies clad in white jerseys that will be getting spanked.

 

[SLY]

Wait, Mike Green riding his scooter on national television in sub-freezing temperatures is gay? Well, I guess it kind of is...

Scooters are kinda gay. Just sayin.

 

[TiLoBrown]

I get the gay ad too....but that because I look for tranny ****. Thats a whole 'nother topic

Edit: nrop (backwards) is censored? Really?

 

[Forty_Sixand2]

Wait, Mike Green riding his scooter in vellure sweats and uggs on national television in sub-freezing temperatures is gay? Well, I guess it kind of is...

FIFY

 

[SLY]

I get the gay ad too....but that because I look for tranny ****. Thats a whole 'nother topic

 

[SLY]

I get a Masters Degree from Kent State University up top...