Star Wars: Obi-Wan Kenobi

[calsnowskier]

I have a question in a New Hope it seemed like Leah never met Obi Wan but in the Kenobi series she did meet him when he rescued her from does drug smugglers who that one female Inquisitor who was trying to draw out Obi Wan from hiding so how can this be?

New Home takes place approx 8 years after the events we are seeing now. Leia in NH is approx 18, so Leia in this show is approx 10.

Leia getting kidnapped would be a traumatic experience, and you would think she would remember the guy who saved her.

Long time ago for a kid vs traumatic experience locking in a memory. It is a tv show. Relax.

Spoiler

Unless it is MY gripe. Then either explain it or the show sucks!

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

I mean we're on par here with... I mean good God. It was bad. Easily the worst Star Wars series of all time (at least to start) and I'd argue the worst thing Disney Star Wars has put out to date:

The series did start off promising but then quickly introduced the most annoying two characters I've seen to grace this film.

#1 - THE DIVERSITY HIRE - Okay I'm poking a little fun here, but Jesus Christ, THAT'S the 3rd sister!? The second sister in FALLEN ORDER (a VIDEO game) was WAY more convincing, had way better dialogue, was smart/intelligent/cunning, and this dork is just wiping out whoever she pleases (AND FUCK SPOILERS because FUCK THIS SHOW, the GRAND INQUISITOR) with zero repercussion, only to be potentially setting her up for some sort of heroic role because, "DISNEY SJW FEMALES THE POWER AND FORCE IS FEMALE" BULLSHIT messaging. One of the most uninteresting and stupid villains of all time. I mean seriously. Kylo Ren? Great. Fantastic. Darth Vader? Of course great. Darth Maul? Wish he hadn't died so quick! Dooku, interesting character, conflicted and brought up interesting politics, built up at least. And lastly even Snoke went down like a bitch but there was SOMETHING built up there.

But nope, we got dumbass uninteresting character here who serves no purpose other than to "GET OBI WAN" (why? because she'll get a suite on the top floor of the Death Star when her vagina dries out).... Fuck you film.

#2 - THE LEIA - I mean.. stop Disney... just stop. If Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys can tell some kid "Mother fucka ya look 30." then I can tell some supposed 10 year old (and same in real life) whiny, spoiled, undisciplined brat who runs at a top speed of 0.2 MPH who happens to have a vagina (or maybe it's a trans these days who the fuck knows), "Motha fucka ya look 7."


The whole series seems to be around these two dorks when the series is titled "OBI FUCKING WAN KENOBI!" What the FUCK are you doing? Oh we just didn't have enough vagina power in there to suit your story eh Darth Kennedy?

Okay so by now you're all thinking: "Jesus Shark is sexist." Let me break down a few more things:

1) Diversity hire's motives don't make sense. She kills someone at the end of the 2nd episode which Vader would not stand for.
2) Annoying kids are annoying.
3) Obi Wan is barely on the screen for 50% of the time.
4) Obi Wan is turned into a bitch like Luke was in episode 8.
5) Why does Leia distrust the guy that rescued her and is trying to escape with her?
6) The chase sequences are I'm sorry... perhaps the most laughable thing I've watched in cinematic history. The actors/stuntmen are purposely almost fast walking to not catch the 10 year old girl who runs like a paraplegic (yah I went there, fuck you),
7) Obi Wan just forgets all his force powers and the fact he has a lightsaber?
8) WTF is happening again, why are we focusing on Leia when Luke is just chilling in Tatooine? Isn't that what this was all about?
9) Dumbest prison break in, potentially ever? He uses his force powers to explode something but then forgets force powers?
10) Remind me again while some Sith inquisitor is able to undermine the entire Sith hierarchy?
11) This is about Obi-Wan? Where the HELL is Darth Vader and if Obi Wan/Yoda ARE IT, why are we at least not shown him? Oh I get it, we have to tease at the end of the 2nd episode.

FUCK YOU SERIES. 1/10, fuck off. Not watching anymore.

Anyway end rant.

 

[wilwhite]

I mean we're on par here with... I mean good God. It was bad. Easily the worst Star Wars series of all time (at least to start) and I'd argue the worst thing Disney Star Wars has put out to date:

The series did start off promising but then quickly introduced the most annoying two characters I've seen to grace this film.

#1 - THE DIVERSITY HIRE - Okay I'm poking a little fun here, but Jesus Christ, THAT'S the 3rd sister!? The second sister in FALLEN ORDER (a VIDEO game) was WAY more convincing, had way better dialogue, was smart/intelligent/cunning, and this dork is just wiping out whoever she pleases (AND FUCK SPOILERS because FUCK THIS SHOW, the GRAND INQUISITOR) with zero repercussion, only to be potentially setting her up for some sort of heroic role because, "DISNEY SJW FEMALES THE POWER AND FORCE IS FEMALE" BULLSHIT messaging. One of the most uninteresting and stupid villains of all time. I mean seriously. Kylo Ren? Great. Fantastic. Darth Vader? Of course great. Darth Maul? Wish he hadn't died so quick! Dooku, interesting character, conflicted and brought up interesting politics, built up at least. And lastly even Snoke went down like a bitch but there was SOMETHING built up there.

But nope, we got dumbass uninteresting character here who serves no purpose other than to "GET OBI WAN" (why? because she'll get a suite on the top floor of the Death Star when her vagina dries out).... Fuck you film.

#2 - THE LEIA - I mean.. stop Disney... just stop. If Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys can tell some kid "Mother fucka ya look 30." then I can tell some supposed 10 year old (and same in real life) whiny, spoiled, undisciplined brat who runs at a top speed of 0.2 MPH who happens to have a vagina (or maybe it's a trans these days who the fuck knows), "Motha fucka ya look 7."


The whole series seems to be around these two dorks when the series is titled "OBI FUCKING WAN KENOBI!" What the FUCK are you doing? Oh we just didn't have enough vagina power in there to suit your story eh Darth Kennedy?

Okay so by now you're all thinking: "Jesus Shark is sexist." Let me break down a few more things:

1) Diversity hire's motives don't make sense. She kills someone at the end of the 2nd episode which Vader would not stand for.
2) Annoying kids are annoying.
3) Obi Wan is barely on the screen for 50% of the time.
4) Obi Wan is turned into a bitch like Luke was in episode 8.
5) Why does Leia distrust the guy that rescued her and is trying to escape with her?
6) The chase sequences are I'm sorry... perhaps the most laughable thing I've watched in cinematic history. The actors/stuntmen are purposely almost fast walking to not catch the 10 year old girl who runs like a paraplegic (yah I went there, fuck you),
7) Obi Wan just forgets all his force powers and the fact he has a lightsaber?
8) WTF is happening again, why are we focusing on Leia when Luke is just chilling in Tatooine? Isn't that what this was all about?
9) Dumbest prison break in, potentially ever? He uses his force powers to explode something but then forgets force powers?
10) Remind me again while some Sith inquisitor is able to undermine the entire Sith hierarchy?
11) This is about Obi-Wan? Where the HELL is Darth Vader and if Obi Wan/Yoda ARE IT, why are we at least not shown him? Oh I get it, we have to tease at the end of the 2nd episode.

FUCK YOU SERIES. 1/10, fuck off. Not watching anymore.

Anyway end rant.

I didn't make it to the second episode. Nothing made sense, there was no tension or mystery, the characters were boring as hell and the dialogue was awful. Ewan McGregor can carry a lot but nobody could carry this.

Side note - Obi-Wan to Luke when he first meets him in the original movie: "I haven't gone by the name of Obi-Wan... since, oh, before you were born."

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

I didn't make it to the second episode. Nothing made sense, there was no tension or mystery, the characters were boring as hell and the dialogue was awful. Ewan McGregor can carry a lot but nobody could carry this.

Side note - Obi-Wan to Luke when he first meets him in the original movie: "I haven't gone by the name of Obi-Wan... since, oh, before you were born."

Well you were the wiser person. I wasted 10 minutes of my time on the 2nd episode before skipping through the rest in < 30 seconds, although admittedly I was kind of starting to roll my eyes by the end of the 1st.

As to your plot point you're 100% spot on. It seems like the dorks at Disney just honed in on "Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!" and just wrote the script entirely around that... yah.... way to fuckin' go.

 

[calsnowskier]

Kylo Ren? Great. Fantastic. Darth Vader? Of course great. Darth Maul? Wish he hadn't died so quick! Dooku, interesting character, conflicted and brought up interesting politics, built up at least.

Yeah…

Um…

…

You know Maul didn’t die in PM, right? He has a long story arc after that fight.

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

Yeah…

Um…

…

You know Maul didn’t die in PM, right? He has a long story arc after that fight.

cal....

Now you know I love you... you're a bro..

BUT, if that's ALL you got out of my entire long winded rant which really has nothing to do with DM except me admitting he was awesome...... then I have zero hope for you. A New Hope: Except calsnowskier. Let's not go there, Chief. I can make it happen....

And if you start mentioning "Well the book..." I will find you in your home... while you sleep, and dump 200 lbs of glitter on the carpet.

 

[calsnowskier]

And if you start mentioning "Well the book..." I will find you in your home... while you sleep, and dump 200 lbs of glitter on the carpet.

You think anyone would even notice that small amount?

If you gunna brung it, you gotta BRUNG it!

 

[lilchi721]

I mean we're on par here with... I mean good God. It was bad. Easily the worst Star Wars series of all time (at least to start) and I'd argue the worst thing Disney Star Wars has put out to date:

The series did start off promising but then quickly introduced the most annoying two characters I've seen to grace this film.

#1 - THE DIVERSITY HIRE - Okay I'm poking a little fun here, but Jesus Christ, THAT'S the 3rd sister!? The second sister in FALLEN ORDER (a VIDEO game) was WAY more convincing, had way better dialogue, was smart/intelligent/cunning, and this dork is just wiping out whoever she pleases (AND FUCK SPOILERS because FUCK THIS SHOW, the GRAND INQUISITOR) with zero repercussion, only to be potentially setting her up for some sort of heroic role because, "DISNEY SJW FEMALES THE POWER AND FORCE IS FEMALE" BULLSHIT messaging. One of the most uninteresting and stupid villains of all time. I mean seriously. Kylo Ren? Great. Fantastic. Darth Vader? Of course great. Darth Maul? Wish he hadn't died so quick! Dooku, interesting character, conflicted and brought up interesting politics, built up at least. And lastly even Snoke went down like a bitch but there was SOMETHING built up there.

But nope, we got dumbass uninteresting character here who serves no purpose other than to "GET OBI WAN" (why? because she'll get a suite on the top floor of the Death Star when her vagina dries out).... Fuck you film.

#2 - THE LEIA - I mean.. stop Disney... just stop. If Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys can tell some kid "Mother fucka ya look 30." then I can tell some supposed 10 year old (and same in real life) whiny, spoiled, undisciplined brat who runs at a top speed of 0.2 MPH who happens to have a vagina (or maybe it's a trans these days who the fuck knows), "Motha fucka ya look 7."


The whole series seems to be around these two dorks when the series is titled "OBI FUCKING WAN KENOBI!" What the FUCK are you doing? Oh we just didn't have enough vagina power in there to suit your story eh Darth Kennedy?

Okay so by now you're all thinking: "Jesus Shark is sexist." Let me break down a few more things:

1) Diversity hire's motives don't make sense. She kills someone at the end of the 2nd episode which Vader would not stand for.
2) Annoying kids are annoying.
3) Obi Wan is barely on the screen for 50% of the time.
4) Obi Wan is turned into a bitch like Luke was in episode 8.
5) Why does Leia distrust the guy that rescued her and is trying to escape with her?
6) The chase sequences are I'm sorry... perhaps the most laughable thing I've watched in cinematic history. The actors/stuntmen are purposely almost fast walking to not catch the 10 year old girl who runs like a paraplegic (yah I went there, fuck you),
7) Obi Wan just forgets all his force powers and the fact he has a lightsaber?
8) WTF is happening again, why are we focusing on Leia when Luke is just chilling in Tatooine? Isn't that what this was all about?
9) Dumbest prison break in, potentially ever? He uses his force powers to explode something but then forgets force powers?
10) Remind me again while some Sith inquisitor is able to undermine the entire Sith hierarchy?
11) This is about Obi-Wan? Where the HELL is Darth Vader and if Obi Wan/Yoda ARE IT, why are we at least not shown him? Oh I get it, we have to tease at the end of the 2nd episode.

FUCK YOU SERIES. 1/10, fuck off. Not watching anymore.

Anyway end rant.

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

Dude F Reveille and your stupid ass link. I'm not going to watch some dumbass 8 minute video of why I need to justify that this series doesn't already suck walrus asshole!

 

[lilchi721]

Dude F Reveille and your stupid ass link. I'm not going to watch some dumbass 8 minute video of why I need to justify that this series doesn't already suck walrus asshole!

Well you wanted to know

 

[Sharkonabicycle]

Well you wanted to know

I meaaaaaan.............

*reaches out for handshake*

 

[ChrisperJ10]

Watched the first episode with my dad who loves Star Wars, and the only thing he wanted to know was if Obi Wan was going to put his shift lead at the meat cutting plant in his place for short changing the workers lol

Leia chase scene was fucking hilarious! Especially when that green guy is like 10 feet away from the branch, but still runs into it lol

If this series is going to get any better (doubt it), she better not be in anymore episodes.

 

[ChrisperJ10]

6) The chase sequences are I'm sorry... perhaps the most laughable thing I've watched in cinematic history. The actors/stuntmen are purposely almost fast walking to not catch the 10 year old girl who runs like a paraplegic (yah I went there, fuck you),

 

[Cyder]

Very disappointing first 2 episodes. The Reva character was way over the top. The "chase" scene was pathetic. A drug dealer just hands Kenobi a shitload of spice......just because. Kenobi knows an entire planet is looking for him and he keeps taking off his hood as he heads to a spaceport any idiot would know the Empire would shut down. Then he escapes on a freighter because the empire didn't have a ship in the area. They basically phoned this one in.

 

[Clayton]

I'm not saying episode 1 just ripped the opening scene of 'Inglorious Basterds' but they pretty much did. The Inquisitors are a weak part in an otherwise kinda alright Star Wars romp. One of the inquistors looks like an anime character and one of them looks like they were wearing armor from Mass Effect. Introducing the 3rd sister not a few minutes in and I told my wife 'she is going to kill that pinhead guy'. I will agree with Shark that the 2nd sister was fairly well done in Jedi Fallen Order *but* the actual story to Jedi Fallen Order is a giant pile of crap.

Jedi Fallen Order Spoiler

Spoiler

You spend like 80% of the game with a fairly weak Jedi named Cal Kestis and the final chapter is an obviously pointless mission where they have Cere Junda and the 2nd sister take over the plot even though Nightsister Merrin just got added to your party and is a badass. She takes a backseat behind Cal and co as they decide to have Vader come in for no reason and just clean up the loose ends and make you realize how dumb the main plot of the game is. Apparently the devs said they wanted the main character to be a black woman and it was turned down by higher ups. Im not saying they sabotaged the plot of the game but the ending of the game certainly loses track of what it was doing.

Anyways, I'm fine if they are actually able to weave the 3rd sister into the plot but I am a little worried she is actually going to take over the plot after what Ive seen with Jedi Fallen Order. And there is nothing wrong with strong female protagonists....when they are the protagonist. Kind of a meta analysis of her own existence within the Inquisitors. Still, none of the inquisitors stand out as interesting so if she is the one that steps up as the antagonist then maybe that could work.

Episode 2 might as well just be called 'Contrived'. Its just a bunch of convenient things that happen to move the plot. The entire episode. Its pretty nuts. Or lazy.

Half of the Leia scenes are good and the other half are terrible.

Outside of the complaints, though, the show certainly looks the part. Obi Wan in general reminds me of Star Wars and Clone Wars and there are a lot of good vibes there that will get me through a lot.

 

[Niner Outlaw]

After just 2 episodes, I have serious doubts this series will make it more than 1 season. I know they're calling it a "limited" series, so maybe they don't intend it to last more than a season?

Spoiler

As others have said:
Leia was terrible half the time
the Leia chase scene was awful
why wouldn't she trust Obi wan when he breaks her out of her jail cell
after the rescue, her accusing him of involvement in the kidnapping makes no sense
the 3rd Sister has a motivation problem from the get go
3rd Sister should be killed in the next one b/c she killed the Grand Inquisitor
when 3rd Sister isn't killed, b/c she's a black woman, it creates a huge plot hole re Vader and the other inquisitors
Obiwan is very cautious, yet he won't keep his hood up while on a planet full of people looking for him.

 

[calsnowskier]

Wasn’t Grand Inquisitor killed during Rebels? So how can he also be killed during Obi-wan?

 

[calsnowskier]

Wasn’t Grand Inquisitor killed during Rebels? So how can he also be killed during Obi-wan?

Here are some theories…

 

[Clayton]

If they go the Asajj Ventress route with the 3rd sister it could work.

Imo, a series only gets one episode like episode two where everything just happens for super convenient reasons. I suspect if that happens one more time the tomatoes will even start coming out with the mainstream audience

 

[calsnowskier]

If they go the Asajj Ventress route with the 3rd sister it could work.

Imo, a series only gets one episode like episode two where everything just happens for super convenient reasons. I suspect if that happens one more time the tomatoes will even start coming out with the mainstream audience

I am going to try to wait until the show is over before coming to a conclusion. Swerves are a thing. And sometimes they are setting up a better second half (WandaVision started rough, but ended up being solid).

That said, the Leia chase scenes are pretty irredeemable.