some gems in today's Down Goes Brown

[IndyAndy]

NHL Offseason Bizarro Rankings «

From the article:



Minnesota Wild

...But their strangest move was: Not doing anything (yet) to address the goaltending. That’s understandable in a sense, because they don’t know what the health status of Josh Harding or Niklas Backstrom will look like by training camp.

I hope that they're willing to give Kuemper a big, fat raise - & that he's ready to step up.

 

[mooger_35]

I love the bizarre-meter!

Had to reread last year's Leaf's review. I still laugh at it.
How Bad Has Toronto?s Offseason Been? «

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

Not as much humo(u)r in this one, but some excellent stories of randomness.

The Forrest Gumps of the NHL «

 

[dare2be]

Not as much humo(u)r in this one, but some excellent stories of randomness.

The Forrest Gumps of the NHL «

Oh, there's some humo(u)r, if you know where to look.

[Dave Christian] still holds the record for the fastest first time.

7 seconds...yeah, sounds about right for a first time.

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

The first of the annual 4 part NHL preview:

2014-15 NHL Preview: The Bottom Feeders «

The Winnipeg Jets offseason report was brilliant.

 

[dash]

How did the Oilers escape the Bottom Feeders division?

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

How did the Oilers escape the Bottom Feeders division?

I'm guessing they end up in the "teams nobody can figure out" group on Thursday.

 

[mooger_35]

Best case: They’re terrible and finish dead last.

Worst case: They’re not terrible and finish well out of last place. (No, we didn’t get those two sections mixed up. This is what happens when a franchise player comes along in a league that insists on rewarding failure with a better chance at high draft picks.)

Bold prediction: The Sabres wind up dead last and then lose the McDavid lottery to some team that finished 20 points ahead of them, because Buffalo.

LOL

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

LOL

Yeah, the 'Because Buffalo' line got a good laugh out of me.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

How did the Oilers escape the Bottom Feeders division?

Or the Leafs? How is it that everybody outside the city thinks this team is anything close to decent? I thought we were supposed to be the delusional ones...

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

The offseason additions should outweigh the subtractions, key pieces like Tyler Myers should rebound from last season’s nightmare

I feel like they've recycled this line re: Myers for three years now.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

Also find it odd that the Yotes are dug that low (although he also states as much), given that they're basically using the same formula that the Preds did in the Suter-Weber years to make the playoffs and they usually succeeded in that during that era.

 

[dash]

Or the Leafs? How is it that everybody outside the city thinks this team is anything close to decent? I thought we were supposed to be the delusional ones...

I'll say this about the Leafs: They have some nice pieces, but they're a puzzling team. I think they just have guys that are uncomfortable in their roles. I see Kessel as a great complimentary player (much like Marian Hossa in Chicago). The Leafs ask Phil to drive the bus, but he doesn't have the right license. Hossa has Toews and Kane driving the bus in Chicago. On the backend, Duncan Keith makes Keith Seabrook look very good. Dion Phaneuf doesn't have anybody like that as of yet (although Morgan Rielly might be that guy one day down the road).

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

I'll say this about the Leafs: They have some nice pieces, but they're a puzzling team. I think they just have guys that are uncomfortable in their roles. I see Kessel as a great complimentary player (much like Marian Hossa in Chicago). The Leafs ask Phil to drive the bus, but he doesn't have the right license. Hossa has Toews and Kane driving the bus in Chicago. On the backend, Duncan Keith makes Keith Seabrook look very good. Dion Phaneuf doesn't have anybody like that as of yet (although Morgan Rielly might be that guy one day down the road).

Which is why they should dismantle and proceed with building through the draft. Instead, they give Celine another decade of being overpaid and keep Kessel around when they can't get him any actual first line talent to play with.

 

[DragonfromTO]

I'll say this about the Leafs: They have some nice pieces, but they're a puzzling team. I think they just have guys that are uncomfortable in their roles. I see Kessel as a great complimentary player (much like Marian Hossa in Chicago). The Leafs ask Phil to drive the bus, but he doesn't have the right license. Hossa has Toews and Kane driving the bus in Chicago. On the backend, Duncan Keith makes Keith Seabrook look very good. Dion Phaneuf doesn't have anybody like that as of yet (although Morgan Rielly might be that guy one day down the road).

I know this isn't the popular opinion becuz ringzzzzz!!!!!, but I'd take Kessel over Kane. At the very least I'd say that there's very little separating the two.

 

[esls79]

I know this isn't the popular opinion becuz ringzzzzz!!!!!, but I'd take Kessel over Kane. At the very least I'd say that there's very little separating the two.

What do you mean onion ringzzz aren't popular???

 

[KennyBanyeah]

I know this isn't the popular opinion becuz ringzzzzz!!!!!, but I'd take Kessel over Kane. At the very least I'd say that there's very little separating the two.

I'd say they're pretty similar too.

Kessel seems just as dangerous shift-to-shift as Kane to me. I'd start building a team just as readily around Kessel as Kane if I was in charge.

The Toews', Hossas, Sharps, Keiths and Seabrooks just represent a much better core that surrounds Kane than what Kessel has.

The supporting cast for Chicago, not to mention the coaching, is markedly better than what Toronto currently has too.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

I know this isn't the popular opinion becuz ringzzzzz!!!!!, but I'd take Kessel over Kane. At the very least I'd say that there's very little separating the two.

Both have one dimension to their game. It is a very, very good one dimension, but one nonetheless.

Said it a million times, I never minded the Kessel trade and I think over time it has proven that it was a very even one. I, and I think most Leaf fans, were always more furious that Burke had absolutely no plan as to how he was going to get a centre to play with Phil. Without that, there was never a point in expending those resources to get him here.

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

How did the Oilers escape the Bottom Feeders division?

2014-15 NHL Preview: The No-Clue Division «

Have a look at his first footnote.

 

[sabresfaninthesouth]

This is briliant:

Toronto Maple Leafs

Last season: 36-24-8, 80 points, third in the East, home ice advantage for the first round of the playoffs, baby! … immediately followed by 2-12-0. The end result: 38-36-8, 84 points, 12th in the East, missed playoffs.