Don't play football in the first place then.
Hell, don't do mans work at all.
My entertainment has nothing to do with it.
Sit behind a fucking desk, like a woman, your whole life if you want to be skipping down the street as an old man. By all means, enjoy the safety of that cubicle. Or live your life on your own terms. And accept the consequences.
Jim McMahon had one eye to begin with, along with a fear of forks, I have no sympathy for him. But I respect him. And his headband.
Good lord, I hope you're at least a big game hunter or a ninja-pirate or something. If you're an accountant it's going to be a big letdown.
'Sit behind a desk like a woman...'
Heh.