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OT: Jokes and Riddles thread

dash

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Q. What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

A. One's a Goodyear, the other's a great year.
 

Judge Fudge

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A Chinese man badly brunt himself while making a Stir-fry.

Paramedics say that he will never WOK again.
 

jstewismybastardson

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w5pujTF.jpg
 

puckhead

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did you hear about the zoo that only had one dog?








it was a shih-tzu











IMG-20120713-00162.jpg
 

Montalban

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Some bad guys tie up Tonto and throw him in the shitter. A couple of days later the Lone Ranger comes by and rescues him. He says "Tonto, how long you been in there?" Tonto says "Many moons"
 

Montalban

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Guy goes to the doctor and the doctor says "I need a semen, stool and urine sample from you". The guy says "Doc, I'm in a hurry, can I just leave my underwear?"
 

Pure Steel

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How do keep an asshole in suspense?

I’ll tell you tomorrow......
 

HuskerPower52

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow blower?

Give the bitch a shovel.
 

Pure Steel

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

Put a 500 pound tiger on stage......

Too soon?
 

Montalban

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I bought a pron DVD today and it was just a dark image of a fat guy holding his dick.

Then I realized I forgot to turn the TV on.
Ha ha! This one cracked me up
 

dash

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These two guys head out duck hunting and after two hours in the marsh, they've got bupkis. One finally says, "Man, I wonder why we haven't got a single duck yet?"

To which the other replies, "Maybe we're not throwing the dog up high enough".
 
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