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OT: Bullshitting at the Barbershop part III

Comeds

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Is it cheating if you didn't do it on purpose?
I went to get a massage for my sore back and got far more than a massage. Now I feel guilty and am not sure if I should tell my wife or not. I can't believe that place did that to me! If you can't trust Relaxing Geysers Of Joy Sports Massage And Therapy, who can you trust?
 

puckhead

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Is it cheating if you didn't do it on purpose?
I went to get a massage for my sore back and got far more than a massage. Now I feel guilty and am not sure if I should tell my wife or not. I can't believe that place did that to me! If you can't trust Relaxing Geysers Of Joy Sports Massage And Therapy, who can you trust?
Had the same thing happen this week.


In hindsight, I'm not sure I tipped Dave enough.
 

dash

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This is an actual business in the Cowichan Valley - The name is SH Massage, but that font choice makes it look like STI Massage which obviously raises a few questions.

AF1QipNkMrsOC1jZQ0tQcediJfInVjwFTJcYqKryH6Vz=s1360-w1360-h1020
 

thedddd

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^ See it now. Someone will hear this and not know the context. They will get all upset saying it is too racy and get upset when their kids hear it.
 

Comeds

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It wont happen but if I ever have to perform a dialogue prepare a scene for anything, I am going to do this.


LBJ: Mr. Haggar?

JH: Yes this is Joe Haggar

LBJ: Joe, is your father the one that makes clothes?

JH: Yes sir - we're all together

LBJ: Uh huh. You all made me some real lightweight slacks, uh, that he just made up on his own and sent to me 3 or 4 months ago. There's a light brown and a light green, a rather soft green, a soft brown.

JH: Yes sir

LBJ: and they're real lightweight now and I need about six pairs for summer wear.

JH: yes sir

LBJ: I want a couple, maybe three of the light brown kind of a almost powder color like a powder on a ladies face. Then they were some green and some light pair, if you had a blue in that or a black, then I'd have one blue and one black. I need about six pairs to wear around in the evening when I come in from work

JH: yes sir

LBJ: I need...they're about a half a inch too tight in the waist.

JH: Do you recall sir the exact size, I just want to make sure we get them right for you

LBJ: No, I don't know - you all just guessed at 'em I think, some - wouldn't you the measurement there?

JH: we can find it for you

LBJ: well I can send you a pair. I want them half a inch larger in the waist than they were before except I want two or three inches of stuff left back in there so I can take them up. I vary ten or 15 pounds a month.

JH: alright sir

LBJ: So leave me at least two and a half, three inches in the back where I can let them out or take them up. And make these a half an inch bigger in the waist. And make the pockets at least an inch longer, my money, my knife, everything falls out - wait just a minute.

Operator
: Would you hold on a minute please?

[conversation on hold for two minutes]

LBJ: Now the pockets, when you sit down, everything falls out, your money, your knife, everything, so I need at least another inch in the pockets. And another thing - the crotch, down where your nuts hang - is always a little too tight, so when you make them up, give me an inch that I can let out there, uh because they cut me, it's just like riding a wire fence. These are almost, these are the best I've had anywhere in the United States,

JH: Fine

LBJ: But, uh when I gain a little weight they cut me under there. So, leave me , you never do have much of margin there. See if you can't leave me an inch from where the zipper (burps) ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole, so I can let it out there if I need to.
 

Bloody Brian Burke

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It wont happen but if I ever have to perform a dialogue prepare a scene for anything, I am going to do this.


LBJ: Mr. Haggar?

JH: Yes this is Joe Haggar

LBJ: Joe, is your father the one that makes clothes?

JH: Yes sir - we're all together

LBJ: Uh huh. You all made me some real lightweight slacks, uh, that he just made up on his own and sent to me 3 or 4 months ago. There's a light brown and a light green, a rather soft green, a soft brown.

JH: Yes sir

LBJ: and they're real lightweight now and I need about six pairs for summer wear.

JH: yes sir

LBJ: I want a couple, maybe three of the light brown kind of a almost powder color like a powder on a ladies face. Then they were some green and some light pair, if you had a blue in that or a black, then I'd have one blue and one black. I need about six pairs to wear around in the evening when I come in from work

JH: yes sir

LBJ: I need...they're about a half a inch too tight in the waist.

JH: Do you recall sir the exact size, I just want to make sure we get them right for you

LBJ: No, I don't know - you all just guessed at 'em I think, some - wouldn't you the measurement there?

JH: we can find it for you

LBJ: well I can send you a pair. I want them half a inch larger in the waist than they were before except I want two or three inches of stuff left back in there so I can take them up. I vary ten or 15 pounds a month.

JH: alright sir

LBJ: So leave me at least two and a half, three inches in the back where I can let them out or take them up. And make these a half an inch bigger in the waist. And make the pockets at least an inch longer, my money, my knife, everything falls out - wait just a minute.

Operator
: Would you hold on a minute please?

[conversation on hold for two minutes]

LBJ: Now the pockets, when you sit down, everything falls out, your money, your knife, everything, so I need at least another inch in the pockets. And another thing - the crotch, down where your nuts hang - is always a little too tight, so when you make them up, give me an inch that I can let out there, uh because they cut me, it's just like riding a wire fence. These are almost, these are the best I've had anywhere in the United States,

JH: Fine

LBJ: But, uh when I gain a little weight they cut me under there. So, leave me , you never do have much of margin there. See if you can't leave me an inch from where the zipper (burps) ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole, so I can let it out there if I need to.
The audio of him saying bunghole is historic.
 

thedddd

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I know he mentioned about needing space for his nuts but per the stories I was fully expecting him to ask for extra material/space to hold his large member in place.
 

jstewismybastardson

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I know he mentioned about needing space for his nuts but per the stories I was fully expecting him to ask for extra material/space to hold his large member in place.
continuation of the LBJ Haggar tapes

JH: Mr President. I must step away from this call as there has been a terrible accident in the fabric stretching department. My wife Harriet will take the remainder of your order in my stead.

*phone rustling*

HH
: Hello Mr President?

LBJ: Hello Mrs Haggar? I was just talking to your husband about my bunghole. Say ... I think you will want to hear this. I have a tattoo on my dick, sometimes it says LBJ, other times it says LusciouslyBigJohnson
 
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