OT: Bullshitting at the Barbershop part III

[Comeds]

A few months ago I got my brother and his wife mad at me when I let my 7 year old niece watch The Fly (86) and she had nightmares afterwards. Today I got asked to take her to a dentist appointment. On the way out on the elevator there was a big horsefly buzzing around, halfway down it disappeared. I spent the drive home trying to convince my niece that it was absorbed by one of us, and one of us soon may become Brundlefly.

 

[thedddd]

So I pulled up to a four way stop sign today. Another car got there at the same time as me, they were to the right of me and going on the other road.
Being polite I waved them on to go first and this old lady driving that car gave me the bird the whole way as she passed in front of me.
I could not stop laughing but all I know she must be having a very bad day.


My only other thoughts are maybe she only has a middle finger and was saying thanks or her arthritis is so bad that is the only finger that stands straight up?

 

[dare2be]

So I pulled up to a four way stop sign today. Another car got there at the same time as me, they were to the right of me and going on the other road.
Being polite I waved them on to go first and this old lady driving that car gave me the bird the whole way as she passed in front of me.
I could not stop laughing but all I know she must be having a very bad day.


My only other thoughts are maybe she only has a middle finger and was saying thanks or her arthritis is so bad that is the only finger that stands straight up?

"I'm not flipping you off, my arthritis is acting up'

 

[jstewismybastardson]

A few months ago I got my brother and his wife mad at me when I let my 7 year old niece watch The Fly (86) and she had nightmares afterwards. Today I got asked to take her to a dentist appointment. On the way out on the elevator there was a big horsefly buzzing around, halfway down it disappeared. I spent the drive home trying to convince my niece that it was absorbed by one of us, and one of us soon may become Brundlefly.

call this one a tale of 2 sets of nieces

my wifes sisters family came up to stay with us for Christmas and her daughters are 2 of the softest kids out there. They get so babied and get the "there there Sarah" treatment all the time. Me and my kids always set an over under on "# of times they will cry" prior to spending any time with them... My daughter knows ... always take the over! My wife is always "WhY MUst YoUU ToRMenT ThE GuRLz? ... blah blah blah"

on Christmas morning, they wanted to go outside on our trampoline. They spotted our resident black bunny that has (had its gone bye bye now) I think made a home somewhere in the base of our cedar hedges. Someones pet that got away or was released I would guess. My daughter says "dad Im surprised its still around" (lotta coyotes nearby forested park) ... and I know where she is gonna go next with this as she has the over ... "you know my dad had a pet bunny as a kid and they ate it?"

the girls are mortified and stop jumping. I go on to explain ... the rabbit was never meant to be a pet but for some reason my 9 year old sister at the time thought it was ... but our paesano neighbour was breeding them and gave one to my dad for some old time italian peasant food pleasure.

niece #1 says still not believing it "people eat bunnies?" and their mom / my SIL says "yes ... some people still do" while giving me a death stare

my thought bubble "some people eh?" "some people????"

I look at my daughter and she knows where Im going next ... Im going to recount the time when I was 6 and we went back to Italy for the summer and I got to watch my aunt outside on the farm hit a rabbit in the back of the head, hang it upside down on a hook above a bucket, slit its neck for bloodletting and then 30 minutes later come back and make a few quick incisions around the legs and proceed to pull the skin off in one fell swoop ... rendering the rabbit to what reminded then 6 year old me of what wile e coyote looked like after the road runner tricked him into running through a meat grinder ... a nice bag of connected sausage links ... woops did i say that? The girls spent the rest of the afternoon in the basement ... away from me ... probably at my sister in laws direction

Christmas evening now and its dinnertime at my parents place and we walk through the door and my sons girls (5 and 8) basically assault me at the door to tell me what they watched on youtube. The 5 year old: "Zio (uncle) we watched a Peppa Pig and she ate george pig and daddy pig was like yummy bacon and she had bloody eyes" ... I think she mentioned "bloody eyes" about 30 times again that night

*tears in my eyes* Merry Christmas girls ... love you both!

 

[dash]

 

[Comeds]

call this one a tale of 2 sets of nieces

my wifes sisters family came up to stay with us for Christmas and her daughters are 2 of the softest kids out there. They get so babied and get the "there there Sarah" treatment all the time. Me and my kids always set an over under on "# of times they will cry" prior to spending any time with them... My daughter knows ... always take the over! My wife is always "WhY MUst YoUU ToRMenT ThE GuRLz? ... blah blah blah"

on Christmas morning, they wanted to go outside on our trampoline. They spotted our resident black bunny that has (had its gone bye bye now) I think made a home somewhere in the base of our cedar hedges. Someones pet that got away or was released I would guess. My daughter says "dad Im surprised its still around" (lotta coyotes nearby forested park) ... and I know where she is gonna go next with this as she has the over ... "you know my dad had a pet bunny as a kid and they ate it?"

the girls are mortified and stop jumping. I go on to explain ... the rabbit was never meant to be a pet but for some reason my 9 year old sister at the time thought it was ... but our paesano neighbour was breeding them and gave one to my dad for some old time italian peasant food pleasure.

niece #1 says still not believing it "people eat bunnies?" and their mom / my SIL says "yes ... some people still do" while giving me a death stare

my thought bubble "some people eh?" "some people????"

I look at my daughter and she knows where Im going next ... Im going to recount the time when I was 6 and we went back to Italy for the summer and I got to watch my aunt outside on the farm hit a rabbit in the back of the head, hang it upside down on a hook above a bucket, slit its neck for bloodletting and then 30 minutes later come back and make a few quick incisions around the legs and proceed to pull the skin off in one fell swoop ... rendering the rabbit to what reminded then 6 year old me of what wile e coyote looked like after the road runner tricked him into running through a meat grinder ... a nice bag of connected sausage links ... woops did i say that? The girls spent the rest of the afternoon in the basement ... away from me ... probably at my sister in laws direction

Christmas evening now and its dinnertime at my parents place and we walk through the door and my sons girls (5 and 8) basically assault me at the door to tell me what they watched on youtube. The 5 year old: "Zio (uncle) we watched a Peppa Pig and she ate george pig and daddy pig was like yummy bacon and she had bloody eyes" ... I think she mentioned "bloody eyes" about 30 times again that night

*tears in my eyes* Merry Christmas girls ... love you both!

I never really ate rabbit so that might have shocked me as a kid. A few years ago I went to a friend's kids birthday party and a little girl there had a rabbit. My friend's wife just kept looking at it saying how tasty it looked. Someone tried to calm her down by saying it would need to be cleaned and dressed (not sure if right terms). Carmen (who is very nice and beautiful) was not deterred saying "nah. i"d just cut its throat, then cut here and here - thank yank its skin off and throw it in the oven with some salt and garlic". The little girl look mortified. Me too probably!

Probably posted before but my wife's grandfather had a ranch. Even though she lived in Houston they had a big yard so occasionally their grandfather would bring them an animal for a while to play with. One year he brought them a calf which they kept all summer and named Bozo. Apparently calfs are very nice and friendly animals. At the end of summer it was getting too big and had to go back to the ranch. Fast forward to some holiday when the family is eating and the grandfather asked the three young girls if it was good. They all answer yes then he proudly and happily tells them they are eating Bozo.

She can still get upset if I bring that one up.

 

[sbb122]

So I pulled up to a four way stop sign today. Another car got there at the same time as me, they were to the right of me and going on the other road.
Being polite I waved them on to go first and this old lady driving that car gave me the bird the whole way as she passed in front of me.
I could not stop laughing but all I know she must be having a very bad day.


My only other thoughts are maybe she only has a middle finger and was saying thanks or her arthritis is so bad that is the only finger that stands straight up?

If you were in Pittsburgh you should've called 911 and possibly got on the Pittsburgh scanner Twitter account

 

[jstewismybastardson]

I never really ate rabbit so that might have shocked me as a kid. A few years ago I went to a friend's kids birthday party and a little girl there had a rabbit. My friend's wife just kept looking at it saying how tasty it looked. Someone tried to calm her down by saying it would need to be cleaned and dressed (not sure if right terms). Carmen (who is very nice and beautiful) was not deterred saying "nah. i"d just cut its throat, then cut here and here - thank yank its skin off and throw it in the oven with some salt and garlic". The little girl look mortified. Me too probably!

Probably posted before but my wife's grandfather had a ranch. Even though she lived in Houston they had a big yard so occasionally their grandfather would bring them an animal for a while to play with. One year he brought them a calf which they kept all summer and named Bozo. Apparently calfs are very nice and friendly animals. At the end of summer it was getting too big and had to go back to the ranch. Fast forward to some holiday when the family is eating and the grandfather asked the three young girls if it was good. They all answer yes then he proudly and happily tells them they are eating Bozo.

She can still get upset if I bring that one up.

i dont know if the bold was in reference to my sisters experience or mine watching the slaughter lol

but for me ... as you might imagine, that moment is ingrained in my memory banks. I was shocked. Totally mouth agape. But it happened all so fast and for the most part was all so clinical. After the neck cut, my aunt came and took me by the hand (with blood on her hand) and walked me to the "hanging structure" and kept saying "guardolo ... guardolo" (translated: "look at it ... look at it") and I can remember going on my tippy toes to look up and over the lid of the bucket thing so see the blood streaming down and to the bottom. I cant say I was scared by it though. We have a picture of me and my aunt standing there and Ive got my bowl cut. mesh shirt with the #80 on it and nuthugger shorts and Ive got a smile from ear to ear. Off to google some local restaurants with rabbit and polenta on the menu lol


/ btw HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

 

[puckhead]

When I was a kid, our neighbour was always doing these crazy business deals and getting paid in all sorts of weird stuff.

So one day he has a dozen ducks, and asks my dad for help "dealing with them", as my dad grew up on a farm.

Well, me and my sister and the neighbour's two daughters were checking out the Ducks and were told on no uncertain terms to fuck off. Of course we just go upstairs and watch out of the window. The first axe comes down, on of the girls yells "MURDERER!!!" and the hysterics begins. My sister did not eat the duck that was for dinner that night.


Another time, my mom (who is Dutch) serves dinner and waits until we are half way done before asking if we like our food. My sister and I both mumble that it's fine, and mom goes "hmm, nice to know you like horse".
Think it took at least a week before my sister talked to mom again.

 

[Comeds]

i dont know if the bold was in reference to my sisters experience or mine watching the slaughter lol

In reference to me being a little sheltered perhaps. We never hunted, just fished and crabbed, And I dont remember anyone ever preparing anything else they had to kill. At 6 I would probably have been horrified and curious.

I know at 7 or 8 I was at a cookout and the people next door pulled these great big turtles out of their boat. Really cool! Right up until they hung them upside down on a swingset, cut their throats, and let them bleed out. That stayed with me for a while

 

[thedddd]

If you were in Pittsburgh you should've called 911 and possibly got on the Pittsburgh scanner Twitter account

Dammit I lost out on a great opportunity.