Michael Irving in trouble again

[fightinfunbags]

Alright I told you it was a long story...

So how does a guy who grew up going to church and never spent a night in jail come home to find a crackhead hiding under his couch?

From 1995 to 2005 I lived in Independence, MO. Fellow Chiefs fans will know this is a suburb of KC that for some time was touted as the meth capital of America. My churchy parents lived just outside St. Louis and my significantly more relaxed aunt and uncle lived in Independence. I try to stay close to family so of course I took the path of least resistance.

My cousin was a gifted student in high school but totally diverged from that and seemed more comfortable living on the slightly wilder side. He became more of a friend more than a relative over time and we went to rock concerts, he hooked me up with weed and just generally helped me experience my 20s in a way that I never would have on my own.

Sooo in 1999 I got my first apartment and he would come over with his various friends and it was really just a place to party and I thought it was great. As time went on I said dude you might as well just crash here, just try to keep it quiet after midnight(I worked nights).

After awhile I started noticing a short shady-looking young person hanging around outside my apartment when I came home from work. I mentioned that to my cousin one time and my cousin told me his name was Smokey and he had a crack problem. My cousin is the type who would talk to anybody so I didn't really think much of it.

One morning I come back from work and sat down in the living room on the $200 futon that my cousin stole from a local department store. It was a questionable issue but this poor guy in his 20s didn't have the willpower to argue about that detail.

I'm sitting there downing beers and just bullshitting with my cousin and I hear something inexplicable from under the futon. At first I was too lazy to look under the futon but curiosity kept building and I finally leaned over and looked under the couch.

There was Smokey, looking right back at me with really big whites in his eyes. I'm not a big guy but my cousin knew I had a line you don't cross and in a weird move, he started crying as I yanked the futon away from the wall to expose this uninvited guest.

After helping Smokey to the door and telling him not to come back, I turned to my cousin who had just spent the past 30 minutes talking to me knowing full well his crackhead buddy was hiding under the couch. I told him to grab his shit and get out the door too.

EPILOGUE
Time went on and I eventually moved away from KC, some of this coinciding with the decline of the Chiefs in the 2000's, and over time I forgave my cousin and we still text and do some online gaming every once in awhile. And years later I still had random friends of friends getting great enjoyment out of asking me about the time I found a crackhead under my couch.

Haha! Story delivered. Thanks. Good luck on Sunday (not really but it sounds like a nice thing to say.)

 

[Battlelyon]

 

[Picklerick 2.0]

The woman is worth 100 million?

 

[broncosmitty]

The woman is worth 100 million?

The woman was Oprah.

 

[Picklerick 2.0]

I still want to know how Irvin received 4 years of differed probation for felony cocaine possession and distribution. Shit just ain't right.

 

[TheRangerDude]

Do you think Titleist and Nike are quietly paying OJ to wear their shit?

They'd probably pay him not to wear it.

 

[jarntt]

Is this serious?
"Mr Irvin, tell us in your own words what transpired and what she lied about"
"Mr Irvin? Mr Irvin?"

 

[sharkymcwrath]

Is this serious?
"Mr Irvin, tell us in your own words what transpired and what she lied about"
"Mr Irvin? Mr Irvin?"

He can’t remember what transpired but he’s suing her for 100 milly? He’s an idiot.

 

[sharkymcwrath]

They'd probably pay him not to wear it.

You give corporate America a lot of credit.

 

[RememberTheKoy]

Is this serious?
"Mr Irvin, tell us in your own words what transpired and what she lied about"
"Mr Irvin? Mr Irvin?"

There is probably lobby camera footage and other witnesses around who can back Irvin up that he didn't do shit.

 

[eaglesnut]

The woman is worth 100 million?

No, but he is.

 

[fightinfunbags]

No, but he is.

I doubt he’s worth that much. In fact, just googled it and his net worth is projected to be around 12-14 million.

 

[sharkymcwrath]

There is probably lobby camera footage and other witnesses around who can back Irvin up that he didn't do shit.

Then why did he lie about ever talking to the woman? He also, foolishly, admitted to being drunk.

Irvin is a lifelong piece of shit. Pretty easy to believe his did piece of shit things.

 

[sharkymcwrath]

I doubt he’s worth that much. In fact, just googled it and his net worth is projected to be around 12-14 million.

Crack is expensive.

 

[eaglesnut]

I doubt he’s worth that much. In fact, just googled it and his net worth is projected to be around 12-14 million.

But what's his contract and earning potential the next 15 years? This incident could hurt him if he's off TV because of it.

 

[Pure Steel]

But what's his contract and earning potential the next 15 years? This incident could hurt him if he's off TV because of it.

Hopefully we aren't listening to him for another 15 years......

 

[PDay8810]

Hopefully we aren't listening to him for another 15 years......

Mike will be fine.
He'll find something in Dallas.

 

[fightinfunbags]

But what's his contract and earning potential the next 15 years? This incident could hurt him if he's off TV because of it.

He’s not worth 100 million in future earnings. He’s a crack head who sounds like he has marbles in his mouth. He still lingers around because he’s an ex Cowboy. ESPN already bailed on him because he’s not really good and isn’t worth the headache. NFL Network is finding out the same thing.

 

[Tai Chi≈Surfing]

I know who Michael Irvin is….but who the heck is Michael Irving?

 

[PDay8810]

I know who Michael Irvine is….but who the heck is Michael Irving?

I know Irvin?

Boy...we'll all fucked up