How to tell if your program is a loser

[smilesid]

10. Coaches and players are all bellyaching and/or fighting with each other.

9. Boosters and donors are trying to throw their weight around in hiring & firing decisions.

8. The coach hires an agent and updates his resume.

7. Fans spend more time whining than they do bragging.

6. Alcohol sales after the game are higher than they are before the game.

5. The university president expresses his "full support" for the team.

4. The NCAA has "unnamed sources" from the school on speed dial.

3. The new game day t-shirt is a brown paper bag with eye hole cut outs.

2. The star player is making comments to the press about how the team isn't playing or coaching him correctly.

and the number one way to tell that your team is a loser:

1. FCS schools are lining up for a chance to schedule you.


Defend yourselves, losers, or give me more.

 

[BigAppleBadger]

6. Alcohol sales after the game are higher than they are before the game.

What if you play at 11am local time? There's only so much time to drink before the game...

 

[Used 2 B Hu]

There's a huge fight to be the team's mascot every year, with the loser having to wear the suit.

 

[Red_Alert]

One of your endzones is a hill with giant M made out of rocks.

 

[romeo212000]

You consistently boast recruiting classes full of 5 star players, but continue to turn in 4+ loss seasons.

 

[TigerBait1971]

Your "mascot" is colored water.....

 

[tideguy]

your field is blue!

 

[SwampHumpy]

11. You lose to Miami.

 

[Bamabino]

1-17 in road games on an AQ's home turf.

 

[4down20]

omg, a quality/funny post by smiles.

It's the end of the world folks.

 

[Ironbreaker]

12 losses in one year is a good indicator.

 

[whyoh]

What if you play at 11am local time? There's only so much time to drink before the game...

 

[BigAppleBadger]

^ It's not that we didn't drink before the game. It's that we didn't slow down afterwards.

 

[RobToxin]

Your head coach resigns so he can pursue his dreams of an NFL job .....

with the Jacksonville Jaguars.

 

[buffhockey]

One play sums up the hapless Rebels more than any other from last night: early in the second quarter, the Rebels were preparing to punt, but then called a timeout as the punter was not on the field.

And don't forget this

UNLV has lost 23 straight road games

 

[TDs3nOut]

You're building a new stadium, your last two coaches were Kevin Sumlin and Art Briles, and your current coach is Tony Levine (who?). Just kidding, of course; UH is not a loser program.

 

[Berkeley_Blues]

You over commit on scholarships and do not give a fuck about the kids you hurt along the way.

 

[Red_Alert]

You've paid your head coach more than $900,000 per win over the course of a season.

 

[MellowYellow]

10. Coaches and players are all bellyaching and/or fighting with each other.

9. Boosters and donors are trying to throw their weight around in hiring & firing decisions.

8. The coach hires an agent and updates his resume.

7. Fans spend more time whining than they do bragging.

6. Alcohol sales after the game are higher than they are before the game.

5. The university president expresses his "full support" for the team.

4. The NCAA has "unnamed sources" from the school on speed dial.

3. The new game day t-shirt is a brown paper bag with eye hole cut outs.

2. The star player is making comments to the press about how the team isn't playing or coaching him correctly.

and the number one way to tell that your team is a loser:

1. FCS schools are lining up for a chance to schedule you.


Defend yourselves, losers, or give me more.

A win on the Blue Turf is considered one of the biggest in program history.

 

[TDs3nOut]

You over commit on scholarships and do not give a fuck about the kids you hurt along the way.

That's a good answer. Not sure how wide spread that practice is in football, but I think it happens quite a bit in basketball. Seems to me that the NCAA should put an end to that in all sports.