Girl I almost impreganted's new boyfriend is going to try to kill me

[GNG]

When I came back from the bathroom, I see her with her giant ass boyfriend - dude looks like a white version of The Rock, and she's pointing at me.

If I disappear from the Hoop, send this to the police. She's a pathological liar and I would be willing to bet all of the deflated footballs in the Patriots locker room that she made up some elaborate story about how I did something really bad to her so he wants to murder me.

Just show him your small penis and he'll die laughing.

 

[Peter Gozintite]

No fucking way I am reading all that, so based on the thread title, stay low profile for a while. After a little time goes by and he sees what a crazy bitch she is, they will break up, and he will buy you a drink.

 

[Davis_Mike]

You have 3 choices:

A - Surprise attack with a baseball bat
B - Listen to Dole
C - Listen to Pete

 

[DoobeeDoobeeDoo]

If someone would be kind enough to dig up my old thread where I posted about how I may be becoming a father, that would be much appreciated.

So for those of you who aren't aware, back in October, I almost became a father.

That psycho girl and I haven't talked much since December, hardly at all actually. I ran into this guy she started dating while we were hooking up (she broke up with him about 2 months ago), and I asked if he knew Claire - the girl I almost impregnated. And he goes "Yeah, how do you know her?" and like the cheeky bastard I am, I respond "Probably the same way you know her", and my drunk friend who used to be best friends with Claire shouts "HE ALMOST IMPREGNATED HER", the dude was clearly humiliated because this was in front of all his friends, and just walked away looking really embarrassed.

Fast forward a week later. I get this text from her telling me I'm making a mockery out of her private life - she specifically referenced the Halloween party in which I wasn't wearing a costume, and when she asked me what I was dressed up as, I said "a dad" Pretty insensitive considering at the time she didn't know if she was pregnant or not, but funny either way.

So now Claire is dating this huge ass guy who looks like he pushes an SUV up and down his driveway as warm-up for his workouts.

I'm at a party, no idea she was there, as I'm walking by to go to the bathroom, I see her there; she is ABSOLUTELY hammered. Her hair is all over the place and she can hardly stand up straight. I saw her as I was walking by, looked away, did a double take realizing it was her, and she goes "234, come here!"

I walk over to her, she grabs me by both my shoulders and says "I have two things to say to you..." "1. I don't understand why you have to be such a fucking piece of shit. And 2. My boyfriend is going to make you pay." After she says this, she pushes me as hard as she could, and I got really pissed and said "Don't you fucking put your hands on me", and security started coming over so I just walked away.

When I came back from the bathroom, I see her with her giant ass boyfriend - dude looks like a white version of The Rock, and she's pointing at me.

If I disappear from the Hoop, send this to the police. She's a pathological liar and I would be willing to bet all of the deflated footballs in the Patriots locker room that she made up some elaborate story about how I did something really bad to her so he wants to murder me.

How was your weekend?

Tables have really turned...
Got in a fight with some girl's ex at Starbucks | SportsHoopla.com Sports Forums

 

[FaCe-LeE-uS]

Stab him. Just make sure you wear a black glove.

 

[LALakersboy24.7]

 

[packerzrule]

hire one of these

 

[Inquisitor95]

Too bad you failed to get her pregnant.

If you did, none of this would be happening.

Try again to get her knocked up.

 

[JuiceTheGator]

Pffft. Just don't be afraid of moose...or anyone else. If he wants to talk about it, just give him advice and be sympathetic..."she's not worth going to jail." Big dudes are usually gentle and always have to act tough for their persona.
I wouldn't worry a bit. Of course, I have confidence from having kicked the ass of several very large creatures. Their eyes, ears, lips and other loose bits are generally way vulnerable.

 

[Sgt Brutus]

Dating dudes would literally solve 95% of your problems.

And the first guy that says "you should know" or "speaking from first hand experience, are you" gets a virtual but punch.

Then the gum would just get lost in a guys ass

 

[fknhippie]

 

[seahawksfan234]

I feel like you could benefit from moving to a bigger town. Possibly shuffling the friend deck a bit.

Seattle is a pretty big town. I just know a lot of people.

 

[seahawksfan234]

Funny. As. Hell.

Get a permit and carry a .45.

Get professional instruction first if you need it.



BTW, the next step is blackmail.

Seen it a lot in L.A.

I've got ass pics of her.

 

[seahawksfan234]

Too bad you failed to get her pregnant.

If you did, none of this would be happening.

Try again to get her knocked up.

This will solve all of my problems.

 

[Nasty_Magician]

Offer him some gum.

 

[Peter Gozintite]

You have 3 choices:

A - Surprise attack with a baseball bat
B - Listen to Dole
C - Listen to Pete

When I am one of your only options, you're probably fucked.

 

[beardown07]

You know you're a douche when... | SportsHoopla.com Sports Forums

 

[Texas Jefe]

View attachment 15756

 

[TheRobotDevil]

Just turn the tables and start screaming you're pissed off she has your lucky gum then look at then start asking a lot of random questions and look in different directions while answering yourself

 

[TheRobotDevil]

Just turn the tables and start screaming you're pissed off she has your lucky gum then look at then start asking a lot of random questions and look in different directions while answering yourself

Start screaming no no don't touch me there again for good measure