Comedy CowPies in the 'Lumbus

[DevilishWon]

Summary of the last little while:

Ryan Johansen took a penalty late in a game the Jackets were winning, so he is a liability and should be traded.

Brandon Dubinsky crosschecked a guy in the head for no reason, got suspended and for this he is a hero and should be captain.



Also, the best possible trading partner for us is Philly because we can trade Johansen and a draft pick for Provorov who is a top pick defenseman who will be NHL ready next year.


Yes, these are actual things I have seen discussed.

Spoke to Shero. He is willing to sacrifice Jon Merrill AND Steven Gionta for Johanson. That way you get an even replacement...4th liner center for 4th line center PLUS a young D man...better act fast BJs

 

[pixburgher66]

Summary of the last little while:

Ryan Johansen took a penalty late in a game the Jackets were winning, so he is a liability and should be traded.

Brandon Dubinsky crosschecked a guy in the head for no reason, got suspended and for this he is a hero and should be captain.



Also, the best possible trading partner for us is Philly because we can trade Johansen and a draft pick for Provorov who is a top pick defenseman who will be NHL ready next year.


Yes, these are actual things I have seen discussed.

I honestly pity you for having to deal with that crap...twitter was an abyss after that game. Pens fans were obnoxious, and continue to be, but...at least my team can fire their coach this year and Torts is off the market.

 

[pixburgher66]

Spoke to Shero. He is willing to sacrifice Jon Merrill AND Steven Gionta for Johanson. That way you get an even replacement...4th liner center for 4th line center PLUS a young D man...better act fast BJs

There's a joke here...I can tell...but I don't want to blurt it out too quickly, that'd be disappointing.

 

[Sgt Brutus]

Summary of the last little while:

Ryan Johansen took a penalty late in a game the Jackets were winning, so he is a liability and should be traded.

Brandon Dubinsky crosschecked a guy in the head for no reason, got suspended and for this he is a hero and should be captain.



Also, the best possible trading partner for us is Philly because we can trade Johansen and a draft pick for Provorov who is a top pick defenseman who will be NHL ready next year.


Yes, these are actual things I have seen discussed.

Dubinsky is a gosh darn hero

 

[forty_three]

Dubinsky is a gosh darn hero

And he is devilishly handsome.

 

[jstewismybastardson]

 

[dash]

I wouldn't touch him with a 39 1/2 foot pole...

 

[jstewismybastardson]

I wouldn't touch him with a 39 1/2 foot pole...

wonder if benning puts together a package that includes all the Bo Whorvats in Whoville

 

[dash]

wonder if benning puts together a package that includes all the Bo Whorvats in Whoville

43: Why Jarmo why? Why are you trading RyJo?
Narrator: But do you know, that old Jarmo was so smart and so slick, that he thought up a line and he thought it up quick.
Jarmo: Why my sweet little chap...
Narrator: Jarmo started to say
Jarmo: ...RyJo won't block shots, he's costing us games. So I'm trading him out West, to Vancouver BC, for guys named Bo and Matt Bartkowski

 

[jstewismybastardson]

i give you an e for effort dash ... speaking of which

You're a foul one, Tortsy Grinch.
You're a nasty wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Tortsy Grinch.

The four best words that best describe you,
Are as follows, and I quote"
Stink!
Stank!
Blocked shots!

 

[DragonfromTO]

I wouldn't touch him with a 39 1/2 foot pole...

Stink.
Stank.
Stunk.

 

[KennyBanyeah]

View attachment 59035

Ya see. I'm starting to think that Torts is watching the wrong Johansen...




Also makes one wonder what kinda "shots" he wants stopped.

 

[forty_three]

Summary of the last little while in this thread.





I read the questions with Torts about Joey and it seems better than sportsnet wants it to be. Torty said that Johansen is young and is eager to learn but he has a lot to learn about being a "pro" whatever that means. He compared him to Vinny The Cavalier.

I wouldn't have any issue with it if Johansen hadn't had the All Star coming out party last year. The kid is still young, yes. But I think he's well on his way to being a solid pro in this league. He's just not the Torts kind of pro. And if Jarmo is stupid enough to give up on a 6'4" #1 Center on a a bridge deal (RFA at the end) because the coach can't figure out where to play him then he is the dumbest motherfucker to ever run a front office.

Seriously, worse than Milbury, Clarke, McGuire and MacLean. Possibly combined.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

Your preparation for games. It’s the little things you do as you’re trying to become a pro, because Joey has a lot to learn as far as what it is to be a pro.

Summary of the last little while in this thread.

View attachment 59299



I read the questions with Torts about Joey and it seems better than sportsnet wants it to be. Torty said that Johansen is young and is eager to learn but he has a lot to learn about being a "pro" whatever that means. He compared him to Vinny The Cavalier.

I wouldn't have any issue with it if Johansen hadn't had the All Star coming out party last year. The kid is still young, yes. But I think he's well on his way to being a solid pro in this league. He's just not the Torts kind of pro. And if Jarmo is stupid enough to give up on a 6'4" #1 Center on a a bridge deal (RFA at the end) because the coach can't figure out where to play him then he is the dumbest motherfucker to ever run a front office.

Seriously, worse than Milbury, Clarke, McGuire and MacLean. Possibly combined.

He traded for David Clarkson, then traded a second rounder for a coach nobody else on earth wanted.

He's already deep in that territory, my friend.

 

[forty_three]

Your preparation for games. It’s the little things you do as you’re trying to become a pro, because Joey has a lot to learn as far as what it is to be a pro.



He traded for David Clarkson, then traded a second rounder for a coach nobody else on earth wanted.

He's already deep in that territory, my friend.

Meh. He's drafted pretty well, handled a really nasty negotiation with a star and got him on a bridge. Plus he got Saad. He's not "Pass up Vanek, Suter and Michalek and pick Zherdev" or Kris Russell for Nikita Nikitin levels of stupid. Yet.

And it looks like Clarkson trade boils down to trading an uninsured contract for an insured one. The trade looks better the more Clarkson doesn't play. And the rumblings locally are that he's really hurt pretty bad.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

Meh. He's drafted pretty well, handled a really nasty negotiation with a star and got him on a bridge. Plus he got Saad. He's not "Pass up Vanek, Suter and Michalek and pick Zherdev" or Kris Russell for Nikita Nikitin levels of stupid. Yet.

And it looks like Clarkson trade boils down to trading an uninsured contract for an insured one. The trade looks better the more Clarkson doesn't play. And the rumblings locally are that he's really hurt pretty bad.

Well, he appears to have drafted well, but he's only run 3 drafts. Only 2 players have played more than 5 NHL games and one of those guys has been moved for Saad (which was good). Prospects are just that until they prove it in the show.

Of course, it's not his fault that not enough time has elapsed to evaluate, and he sure as hell wouldn't be the first GM fired before the guys he drafted became stars, but kinda like with Garth Snow how long is this going to continue to be a "rebuilding" project? If things continue as they have been this will be the second season in a row where CBJ have performed worse than the season before. That isn't what you spend to the cap for.

I have a feeling Clarkson is "hurt" in the same vein Robidas is "hurt".

 

[forty_three]

I guess that Tortorella has changed. His new plan (and you couldn't have possibly seen this coming) is to randomly and without explanation healthy scratch each player on the team one at a time until he find out who is the problem.

Last night, it was Hartnell. And it inspired the Jackets to their third straight loss.

 

[pixburgher66]

I guess that Tortorella has changed. His new plan (and you couldn't have possibly seen this coming) is to randomly and without explanation healthy scratch each player on the team one at a time until he find out who is the problem.

Last night, it was Hartnell. And it inspired the Jackets to their third straight loss.

I envision Torts standing in front of the team just before the game with a large wheel, filled with images of the players.

 

[forty_three]

And

Manny Malhotra signs AHL tryout



Anyone know where Geoff Sanderson is?

 

[pixburgher66]

And

Manny Malhotra signs AHL tryout



Anyone know where Geoff Sanderson is?

Hejda's gonna Hejd.