A "Victory in the Bank" - A Radical New Playoff Idea

[elocomotive]

"Learned"???

Please.

Zorlos 5 have set the game of hockey back 100 years. Any planet that uses recombinant DNA stolen from Freddy The Fog Shero's corpse to clone their coach is despicable enough, but then to replicate the Broad Street Bullies using more stolen DNA is reprehensible. Damned planet didn't "learn" anything, they hatched their success in Petri dishes.

Why or why did Gretzky's family insist on cremation. . .

Don Cherry's preserved head is going to flip it's lid!

 

[Comeds]

Perhaps if they introduced this idea with a catchy song explaining the rules it would catch on.

 

[elocomotive]

Perhaps if they introduced this idea with a catchy song explaining the rules it would catch on.

Oh hey Comeds. I didn't see you there. Well, I've got this here geetar and had just written a little country number. Let's what we can do....

(Strum, strumma, strum... strumma strum... strumma strum....)

If you're a reckoning it's playoff time, you're prob'ly seeing beards
But sometimes those pesky underdogs, make things a little weird
So here's a little tune we wrote, to remind you the procedure
When you're team is in big trouble, and a win yer' gonna needer
(spoken) everybody!!!!

CHORUS (all sing)
Yes, we're using it!
...No, we're saving it!
...The pathway to victory.
...We are paving it!
(Soloist) So if you ever feel in trouble like your playoff hopes are sank,
Just report your decision properly and use that victory in the bank.

(spoken) second verse...
2-2-1-1-1's the format, just in case you didn't know
You must declare your auto vic'try, before game 1 is a go
You can't use it in the middle, of a best of seven series
Unless you go to Bettman's office and you get down on your (horse neighing!!!)

CHORUS (all sing)
Yes, we're using it!
...No, we're saving it!
...The pathway to victory.
...We are paving it!
(Soloist) So if you ever feel in trouble like your playoff hopes are sank,
Just report your decision properly and use that victory in the bank.

 

[BGDave]

Oh hey Comeds. I didn't see you there. Well, I've got this here geetar and had just written a little country number. Let's what we can do....

(Strum, strumma, strum... strumma strum... strumma strum....)

If you're a reckoning it's playoff time, you're prob'ly seeing beards
But sometimes those pesky underdogs, make things a little weird
So here's a little tune we wrote, to remind you the procedure
When you're team is in big trouble, and a win yer' gonna needer
(spoken) everybody!!!!

CHORUS (all sing)
Yes, we're using it!
...No, we're saving it!
...The pathway to victory.
...We are paving it!
(Soloist) So if you ever feel in trouble like your playoff hopes are sank,
Just report your decision properly and use that victory in the bank.

(spoken) second verse...
2-2-1-1-1's the format, just in case you didn't know
You must declare your auto vic'try, before game 1 is a go
You can't use it in the middle, of a best of seven series
Unless you go to Bettman's office and you get down on your (horse neighing!!!)

CHORUS (all sing)
Yes, we're using it!
...No, we're saving it!
...The pathway to victory.
...We are paving it!
(Soloist) So if you ever feel in trouble like your playoff hopes are sank,
Just report your decision properly and use that victory in the bank.

 

[Comeds]

Suddenly I am in favor of the new system.

 

[dash]

Oh hey Comeds. I didn't see you there. Well, I've got this here geetar and had just written a little country number. Let's what we can do....

(Strum, strumma, strum... strumma strum... strumma strum....)

If you're a reckoning it's playoff time, you're prob'ly seeing beards
But sometimes those pesky underdogs, make things a little weird
So here's a little tune we wrote, to remind you the procedure
When you're team is in big trouble, and a win yer' gonna needer
(spoken) everybody!!!!

CHORUS (all sing)
Yes, we're using it!
...No, we're saving it!
...The pathway to victory.
...We are paving it!
(Soloist) So if you ever feel in trouble like your playoff hopes are sank,
Just report your decision properly and use that victory in the bank.

(spoken) second verse...
2-2-1-1-1's the format, just in case you didn't know
You must declare your auto vic'try, before game 1 is a go
You can't use it in the middle, of a best of seven series
Unless you go to Bettman's office and you get down on your (horse neighing!!!)

CHORUS (all sing)
Yes, we're using it!
...No, we're saving it!
...The pathway to victory.
...We are paving it!
(Soloist) So if you ever feel in trouble like your playoff hopes are sank,
Just report your decision properly and use that victory in the bank.

WWE stands for Walk With Eloco...

 

[puckhead]

Why or why did Gretzky's family insist on cremation. . .

DNA was pickled anyway

 

[dare2be]

Meh.

Lyrics were too complex and thoughtful for a country song.

No mention of muh truck, muh girl, muh dog, or guns.

 

[elocomotive]

Meh.

Lyrics were too complex and thoughtful for a country song.

No mention of muh truck, muh girl, muh dog, or guns.

I guess we need a last verse, 'bout how much the Penguins stank
The Capitals victorious, no new rule to blame or thank
It seems I overlooked some things, so before I go to bed
I stole Dare's truck and then his girl, and shot his doggie dead

CHORUS (all sing)
No, we're saving it!
...Yes, we're using it!
...A new champion crowned
...Ain't no confusin' it!
(Soloist) So if your playoff hopes come up short and Kessel smells a little rank
Better win the Metro next year for that victory in the bank

(bah chung chwaaaaaang)

 

[obxyankeefan]

Oh hey Comeds. I didn't see you there. Well, I've got this here geetar and had just written a little country number. Let's what we can do....

(Strum, strumma, strum... strumma strum... strumma strum....)

If you're a reckoning it's playoff time, you're prob'ly seeing beards
But sometimes those pesky underdogs, make things a little weird
So here's a little tune we wrote, to remind you the procedure
When you're team is in big trouble, and a win yer' gonna needer
(spoken) everybody!!!!

CHORUS (all sing)
Yes, we're using it!
...No, we're saving it!
...The pathway to victory.
...We are paving it!
(Soloist) So if you ever feel in trouble like your playoff hopes are sank,
Just report your decision properly and use that victory in the bank.

(spoken) second verse...
2-2-1-1-1's the format, just in case you didn't know
You must declare your auto vic'try, before game 1 is a go
You can't use it in the middle, of a best of seven series
Unless you go to Bettman's office and you get down on your (horse neighing!!!)

CHORUS (all sing)
Yes, we're using it!
...No, we're saving it!
...The pathway to victory.
...We are paving it!
(Soloist) So if you ever feel in trouble like your playoff hopes are sank,
Just report your decision properly and use that victory in the bank.

I guess we need a last verse, 'bout how much the Penguins stank
The Capitals victorious, no new rule to blame or thank
It seems I overlooked some things, so before I go to bed
I stole Dare's truck and then his girl, and shot his doggie dead

CHORUS (all sing)
No, we're saving it!
...Yes, we're using it!
...A new champion crowned
...Ain't no confusin' it!
(Soloist) So if your playoff hopes come up short and Kessel smells a little rank
Better win the Metro next year for that victory in the bank

(bah chung chwaaaaaang)

 

[Comeds]

Hey @elocomotive, someone named Big And Rich want to get in touch with you.

 

[naslundfan19]

Bump for this jewel for @dash and @elocomotive

 

[dash]

Bump

 

[mattola]

Lol I had to

 

[Comeds]

How about a vaccine in the bank?.....hear me out

 

[Darkstone42]

Good to see the Victory in the Bank still getting out despite shelter-in-place orders being in effect.

 

[elocomotive]

(spoken...one more verse)

Well there's nothing in the bank to use, because the season's dead
A virus smaller than a puck, someone in Chiner named COVID
Has stolen all our hockey joy and left in our hearts a pit
You bet that even stuck inside, Geno's still ugly as ("everybody!!!")

CHORUS (all sing)
Yes, we're using it!
...No, we're saving it!
...The pathway to victory.
...Covid's taken it!
(Soloist) So if you want to someday meet your friends, to the arena ride
Then wear a mask, keep distance, and please stay the fuck inside

(all) Just staaaay... the fuuuuuuuuck.... innnnnnn...
siiiiiiiii....iiii-iiiii.....iiii-iiiii.....iiii-iiiiiiiiide.....
Stay the fuck inside! (Wamp!)

 

[dare2be]

Once the antibodies are identified, and plasma is donated, we'll finally have a Victory in the Bloodbank.

 

[dash]

Once the antibodies are identified, and plasma is donated, we'll finally have a Victory in the Bloodbank.

That's an A+ post right there.

 

[dare2be]

That's an A+ post right there.

And here I thought people were going to be negative toward my post.