Four Seasons Loco Coffee and Total Landscaping Talk

[elocomotive]

Says Mr. "I take no responsibility at all."

I remember all those famous moments after 9/11, major hurricanes, snow storms, etc. when past Presidents were always like "Governors...you need to do more!"

 

[dare2be]

Not me. I got out of the market and into guaranteed annuities back in 2018.

 

[dare2be]

I pointed this out Friday long before the pundits did. Will the trumpeters react the same to the next cry wolf again?

Of course the timing of the press conference was to give the markets time before they closed to react to the lip service.

Calculated.

 

[Darkstone42]

Well, last Monday, I got dumped and told to never talk to her again, on Tuesday my instrument broke, on Friday a previous ex called me from a strange number to ask if she could live with me for a bit, and all of this amid social distancing and my university being completely shut down--which means getting support for the work I absolutely have to do to graduate before my funding runs out in May much more difficult.

Things are going great, guys.

But on the other hand, I shaved myself a cool, Civil War-style mustache.

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

*grabs garbage bag stash out of cupboard*

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

Well, last Monday, I got dumped and told to never talk to her again, on Tuesday my instrument broke, on Friday a previous ex called me from a strange number to ask if she could live with me for a bit, and all of this amid social distancing and my university being completely shut down--which means getting support for the work I absolutely have to do to graduate before my funding runs out in May much more difficult.

Things are going great, guys.

But on the other hand, I shaved myself a cool, Civil War-style mustache.

So did you fuck your ex yet?

 

[Darkstone42]

So did you fuck your ex yet?

I will not. I had to tell her some while ago to stop contacting me.

Also, doesn't strike me as social distancing, you know? Have to be a little closer than six feet for that.

 

[dash]

So did you fuck your ex yet?

Tough to do with a broken instrument.

 

[dare2be]

Total tone change. No sycophant comments, no "great", "tremendous" or "very very"

Did someone finally get through that thick skull?

 

[jstewismybastardson]

Well, last Monday, I got dumped and told to never talk to her again, on Tuesday my instrument broke

you were trying to send her to hell , werent yah ?

 

[puckhead]

a previous ex called me from a strange number to ask if she could live with me for a bit.

closest one I could find to "alarm bells going off"

 

[dare2be]

Total tone change. No sycophant comments, no "great", "tremendous" or "very very"

Did someone finally get through that thick skull?

Never mind.

 

[puckhead]

****** Morgan Freeman voice *****
And it turns out, the people were the virus after all

Coronavirus lockdown eases pollution, Venice canal runs clear

 

[Darkstone42]

closest one I could find to "alarm bells going off"

There's a reason I'm not with her anymore.

 

[Comeds]

There's a reason I'm not with her anymore.

Chlamydia?

 

[Bloody Brian Burke]

Did someone finally get through that thick skull?

If so, can they send them to Trudeau’s house next?

 

[dare2be]

Stock market

 

[elocomotive]

Well, last Monday, I got dumped and told to never talk to her again, on Tuesday my instrument broke, on Friday a previous ex called me from a strange number to ask if she could live with me for a bit, and all of this amid social distancing and my university being completely shut down--which means getting support for the work I absolutely have to do to graduate before my funding runs out in May much more difficult.

Things are going great, guys.

But on the other hand, I shaved myself a cool, Civil War-style mustache.

Here's the play...

Step 1: Invite the old ex to move in and make sure the recent ex knows about it making her crazy jealous.
Step 2: Tell both that a federal shelter in place order has been issued for the week and that your department has come up with a cure for coronavirus, but that it requires 14 injections that have to be administered twice daily through bodily fluids.
Step 3: Enjoy the best week of threesomes of your life.
Step 5: Dye your hair blonde, change your name to James Tyrone Shampoo, and move to Idaho.
Step 6: ...
Step 7: Profit?


Also, since I'm sure someone will ask "what is step 4?" There's no adventure if I reveal the ENTIRE plan and why do you think he had to dye his hair?

@Darkstone42 You're welcome.

 

[elocomotive]

PS - Sorry you're having a rough week, bud.

 

[dash]

@elocomotive channeling George Costanza...