What Type Of NHL Fan Are You?

[IPostedWhat]

A) The "Hockey-Exists-Before-the-Playoffs?" Fans

Say a team is currently in playoff contention but just not finding the wins as the season comes to a close. It's very common to hear those fans mumbling to themselves that their team will find a way to win when it matters.

When it matters being the playoffs.

For some fans, however, the start of the playoffs is the start of the season, not the "second season."

Ask them about the team's play in the regular season and they'll fumble a response about being too busy to watch all of those games but can't wait for their team to kick butt in the playoffs.

As a result, many of them won't recognize their team because eight of the players that ended the last playoffs either signed with other teams or were traded during the season.

But they don't care, they cheer for the team, not the individual.

Their enthusiasm while their team fights for wins in the playoffs matches that of a 30-year season ticket holder...until the team loses.

Then it's back to following the NFL's off-season trades and signings and baseball until it's playoffs time once again.

B) The Completely Obsessed Fan

These fans are simply out of control when it comes to hockey.

Their bookmarks on their computers are all hockey blogs, NHL-affiliated sites, and team sites.

The first thing they do when they wake up is check NHL.com to see what's happening.

Ask them about their favorite team and they will rattle off game stats, the height, weight, and job on the ice of each player on the team before you can raise your eyebrows.

While you may question the sanity of these fans, you cannot question their heart and love for the wintry sport.

C) The Fans Who Only Care When Their Team is Good

These fans are as loyal as they come, sporting the team colors on the streets and casual Friday at work, they sell out every home game, and are on top of things when it comes to their team...

When the team is winning, that is.

If this team starts to see bad times, then these fans disappear like bears in hibernation. The focus typically will be redirected to a local team that is seeing some success.

If no local team is finding success, well then those fans are simply screwed.

But you better believe that when their hockey team starts to win again, especially the Stanley Cup or even a first-round star player pick (not Pittsburgh, of course), then the fan base will drift back to hardcore loyalty, claiming that they were true fans all along.

D) The Hockey Purist/Know-It-All Fan

Whatever you do, do not cross-examine a hockey purist because it's like talking to a wall.

Opinions? Pft, unless they match this person's, then yours don't matter.

Goal celebrations should be modest and meek, preferably no jumping, screaming, or slamming your body into the glass. And there better be no winking at the camera!

That's considered taunting and not what you want to teach the young kids watching at home!

If the goal-scorer isn't Canadian and especially if he American, then he should probably stop and thank Canada because Canadian development hockey is the reason why these players have talent in the first place.

Canada is the only country that truly epitomizes hockey in its purest form.

Speaking of hockey's birthplace.

Anyone not from Canada simply does not have an opinion regarding hockey...unless it's in accordance with whatever the hallowed Don Cherry shares on Coach's Corner.

If you want real hockey franchises, look no further than the Original Six. Everyone else is considered subordinate, especially if they hail from below the Canadian border.

Actually, I take that back. Everyone hates the Toronto Maple Leafs so they don't count.

And what's with all the teams in warm weather climates?

If that city can't produce a frozen pond naturally to play a game, then there shouldn't be a team there.

After all, why put a hockey team in a place where people don't care?

E) The Puck Bunny

The puck bunny is so special, it's the only slide that doesn't contain the word "fan" in the title (anyone want to guess why?)

These ladies could care less about the difference between a hooking and a roughing call or who is the latest trade bait.

They do care about the money in the players' pockets and if their sticks are as skilled as they seem, if you know what I mean.

Of course, it always helps if their faces are symmetrical, but who doesn't love a purple and black shiner paired with a slightly crooked nose to show off a player's manliness?

These ladies (but who's to say they have to be ladies?) are not very difficult to spot at a game:

Their makeup is specially applied to give that hint of sultry that will draw the players' eyes on the bench all the way to that lusty twinkle in her eye at the other end of the arena.

Of course, these ladies flock the glass during warm ups with the hopes that their man will spot them before the game, just to make things easier.

Unless these ladies attend the game dressed ready to for a sweaty night in the club, you can find them in their favorite player's jersey with the team colors swapped for glittery pink, white, and silver.

I mean, the pink matches her lip gloss so why bother with colors like orange or yellow that clash with her complexion?

Clothing below the waist that isn't a thong is optional.

Just remember, these ladies are not sluts, they merely enjoy what God gave hockey players.

F) The "No-I'm-Not-A-Puck-Bunny-Dammit-Stop-Stereotyping" Fans

Pissing off one of these ladies might be just as lethal as telling a purist that visors are mandatory in the game.

These ladies are a little tricky because they don't dress like puck bunnies but you have caught them getting a little too googly-eyed over Sidney Crosby, Vinny Lecavalier, and Patrick Sharp.

While they might not cake on the makeup a la puck bunny, it's still there, enough to notice that she's trying. Slightly styled hair will be found as well.

Her favorite hockey movie is probably Miracle which she can quote from start to finish, but she'll tell you it's Slapshot even though she's seen it once and barely followed the plot.

On the other hand, strike up a conversation with some of these girls and you'll be pleasantly surprised that she does know the difference between a roughing and hooking call.

But since you probably aren't going to hold a conversation with these fans, you're just going to stick with the assumption that she doesn't know much about the game.

Just don't let her overhear your drunken conversation with your buddies about which player she's planning to track down; she might feel the need to introduce her elbow to your face.

She will then babble something about how obnoxious men stereotype against female hockey fans while pointing out that men can drool over cheerleaders without any problems. This usually segways into some kind of women's lib rant.

You've already lost interest once the pain from your face wears away because you frankly don't give a damn.

G) The Fans Who Just Don't Get It

With the increase of hockey interest in the U.S., there unfortunately is a rise in hockey fans who don't understand hockey.

Many of these fans are bandwagoners, but most of them are just plain stupid.

Passion aside, these are the ones who really think that chopping someone's hockey stick in half with your own is just a part of the game.

Or that a hook to the groin shouldn't hurt that much.

These are the same fans who tossed their hats on the ice when Alex Ovechkin scored twice in regulation and once in a shootout, thinking that he scored a hat trick.

These are also the same fans that boo players thinking it brings their game down.

No matter what you do or say, these fans are stuck in their ways, especially when beer is involved.

H) The Fans Who Think Your Team Sucks

This fan's mentality is quite simple: if your team isn't the same as theirs, then your team sucks.

There's no way around it.

These fans are also convinced that every player on your team sucks. It doesn't matter that they may sport some of the best talents in the league.

In fact, they probably boo those players louder than your weakest players.

The funny thing is these fans are known for being a solid fan base, but the talent on the ice isn't up to par.

See, these fans are so special that they make any team they support the coolest team in the league because their awesomeness is just that contagious.

You can only imagine how it would be if their team was good.

I) The Fans Who Will Kill You If You Say Their Team Sucks

Smack talkers beware of these fans.

If you value your life, you won't say anything if you're in their barn when your team beats them.

For those who can't resist, the lucky ones will only have to worry about washing out the beer stains from the jersey and jeans.

The unlucky ones might end up like Duncan Keith in Game Four of the Western Conference Finals.

These fans also come in the non-violent variety, but that doesn't make them any less obnoxious.

Tell these non-violent fans that their team sucks and they will pummel you...with words that is.

You may jokingly taunt them with a "Your team sucks" comment, but it will unleash a series of specific examples why their team doesn't suck.

They will give you stats, players' awards, and results when your teams go head to head. Of course, the information they share will only make a good case for their team and players, conveniently omitting any positive stats about your team.

You can find many of these fans on commenting on YouTube videos, because these fans aren't impressive as it is.

 

[IPostedWhat]

J) Previous Next The "Shoot the Puck!" Fans

These fans can be heard throughout the game, but it's during the power play that they really make their presence known.

They sit at the edge of their seats, watching the puck bounce from point man to point man then down low and back to point man with impatience.

After five unsuccessful power plays, their patience grows thin and they belt out "Shoot the puck!" every time a new player touches the puck, especially the point men.

It doesn't matter that the penalty killers might be blocking the shooting lanes, unless players are putting the puck on net, these fans will never be happy.

It doesn't matter that those on the power play are making use of their chances through patience.

It also doesn't matter that these are professionals on the ice who know what they're doing.

These fans are all-knowing when it comes to scoring goals, despite their slightly inebriated state and hockey abilities ending at their driveway.

And we all know that if the power play coaches only implemented this style that the team would be converting unreal numbers.

K) The Gracious-No-Matter-What Fans

These fans are the rarest of the bunch and are usually found in southern arenas.

Nothing can bring these fans down because they love hockey that much and are happy to enjoy a NHL game.

It doesn't matter if their team loses 3-0 or wins 6-5 in a shootout, they'll leave the arena with a big smile.

I have even seen these fans wish the opposing fans good luck while leaving the arena after getting booted from the playoffs.

It seems like nothing can upset these fans and as a result, your experience is made that much better.

In fact, you even feel the need to spread the sunshine because of their infectious behavior. Sooner or later, you too will be holding hands and singing kum-ba-yah with the enemy.

L) The "Trade Player X" Fans

Every team will fall on some bad times; its fans will take out the aggression in many different ways: yelling, throwing objects, sticking pins in a Gary Bettman voodoo doll.

A more popular approach has come from fans who call for some of their players to be traded.

These fans, thinking like the future Hall of Fame general managers they are, find players on the team that are in the midst of a slump and call for them to be traded for players who will actually help the team win.

Of course, when the player snaps out of the slump, these fans will shut up and support him as if that was the plan all along.

But until then, they are very emphatic in their beliefs.

These fans are usually the same ones who freak out when their team goes down 2-0 in a playoff series, claiming there's no hope.

They are also the ones who leave a game three minutes early when their team is losing so they can beat traffic.

After all, why bother watching the team lose when there's no chance for them to win?

Simply put, they have the heart of a true fan when times are good but when times are bad, then it's time to get serious and do what's logical for the team.

M) The Conspiracy Theory Fans

When teams aren't performing and their fans have made every logical trade in the book, it leaves disgruntled fans no choice but to believe that there's a conspiracy against them.

The target is typically officiating, especially if the opposing team is the Pittsburgh Penguins.

After all, Bettman wants his daughter Cindy Crysby to succeed and has a secret plot with the refs that only make calls for Pittsburgh. Bettman is the reason why Pittsburgh won the lottery in 2005, you know.

Conspiracy theorists have also uncovered the fact that Bettman is behind all of the "young" teams and pushes for their unfair success as well.

They also make every excuse in the book, but don't try to explain that maybe the problem is their team's lack of drive or discipline because they'll blow you away with mind-boggling reasons why the league is against them.

When you casually point out a few calls that went their way, they vehemently deny it.

You truly can't deny the passion and involvement of these fans and their beliefs, especially since they usually spend their time sharing their theories on YouTube with their band of merry conspirators.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/418154-the-types-of-nhl-fans-where-do-you-fall

 

[Jimmy_the_Tongue]

I'll register my vote in about an hour after I read all the choices....

 

[flyersfan4706]

I am a lower degree of B

Edit: There are a lot of shhot the puckers in the Wach. Sometims there is a loud gathering of the crowd yelling shoot at the same time.


I am not one. I just curse under my breath and flip ou when we score.

 

[li0lsh]

I check TSN/SJSHARKS/ESPN every day after I wake up.

 

[Bizzle McDizzle]

You are a Buffalo fan right?

Your team sucks.

 

[puckhead]

combo: mostly B, with a bit of D, I and M when the occasion calls for it.

 

[dare2be]

I am a lower degree of B

Edit: There are a lot of shhot the puckers in the Wach. Sometims there is a loud gathering of the crowd yelling shoot at the same time.


I am not one. I just curse under my breath and flip ou when we score.

Yeah, I was going to say B- as well.

 

[Bizzle McDizzle]

anyone here not going to say B, since that's the only one that really isn't a negative?

Lets go.
Man (or Woman) up.


Your team sucks. Deal with it. nyaa nyaa

 

[Slimpikins]

I yell at the players whether at home or a game even though they can't hear me and all my experience comes from video games and pick up roller hockey games.

I also think that slashing someones stick in two is part of the game, and hooking doesn't hurt that bad.

But the correct answer is always THE MILLER.

 

[forty_three]

combo: mostly B, with a bit of D, I and M when the occasion calls for it.

Get out of my head

Although lately, I agree. My team sucks.

 

[BostonAJ]

Too drunk to quantify.

Hockey good.

 

[ritari330]

I think we might have some who are F's

 

[kenyg54]

Z -- none of the above.

 

[juliansteed]

Z -- none of the above.

Same here. We definitely have a few on this board (but especially the old one) from some of these categories. I think it was on the old board that someone had posted this once before and I would have sworn the author was inspired by that board. Under the "Puck Bunny" category they even had a picture of a young lady surrounded by Flames' fans, with a sign asking Sid to marry her.

 

[awaz]

you dont have one for angry fan.. combination of B and yell at every player every time they screw up, even if its a slight mistake.. these fans will also carry a blind hatred for some players and notice every time they screw up, and will barely acknowledge them when they make a good play.. on the flip side though, there are players who 'never' make a mistake.. if they turn the puck over, it was intentional, fail to keep a puck in -- the team needed a line change.. but more often then not, this type of fan is angry and screaming at the TV, regardless of the score

thats me.

also i've been known to be a 'shoot the puck fan' on some occasions when the flyers PP goes like 0-6 with 2 shots.. that irritates me beyond belief

 

[TOX1]

When I'm watching a game the only two phrases that come out of my mouth are-

"Niiiiice"

or

"you fucking idiot!"

I don't know what category that falls into and I don't care either.

 

[dare2be]

When I'm watching a game the only two phrases that come out of my mouth are-

"Niiiiice"

or

"you fucking idiot!"

I don't know what category that falls into and I don't care either.

Neanderthal Fan?

 

[TOX1]

Ok Mr. Tea & Crumpets.......what do you say when you watch a game?

"Oh...well done mate....rah...rah...rah!!"

 

[dare2be]

LMAO