I'm a lying sack of shit.

[Chewbaccer]

 

[whywork2]

I'm Pauly Shore bitch, I don't need this shit.

 

[mcnabb7542]

There have been many Hooplans who have tried to doubt my credentials as a penguin, it never turns out well for them in the end.

No they usually end up on your show and then Clarkston ends up Bill Cosby ing them...

 

[DoobeeDoobeeDoo]

No they usually end up on your show and then Clarkston ends up Bill Cosby ing them...

No one gets date raped on tDoob Show...anymore

 

[Gatorchip]

Did he die?

 

[potzer25]

​

Just thought I should come clean to you guys. I can't do this anymore. Pretty much everything I've said about myself here is a bold face lie, made up on the fly. It's a horrible problem I've always dealt with no matter where I go. I just always feel the need to create some story to make myself seem more unique, even if it makes no sense. For those that remember me from ESPN should probably know this, but have kept their mouth shut thankfully and I thank you guys for that.

​

I didn't go to Georgia Tech. I didn't even go to college period. I just randomly picked them on the NCAA Football 2002 game and followed them from there. And I do root for Virginia as well, since that's my home state. I don't run my own business. I don't do shit. I haven't worked in months. I don't smoke weed at all. I don't even know where to buy the shit. And I've never watched a single episode of Pokemon. I have no clue why I even made up that story and that personality to begin with. It was pretty lame and stupid.

​

I guess I just feel the need to create a fake life so I can forget about the shitty one I do have. I haven't done shit with my life, and I run away from all of my problems. And I'm an attention seeker. I'm sure you all noticed from my posts. And if you knew me at ESPN, you know what I did over there. For those that don't know, I'll let you in on it. I created a good 15 or so accounts on ESPN so I could control the board the way I wanted to. I pretended that I was a UGA fan that was just trying to embarrass Georgia Tech.

​

I used the other accounts to talk to myself and others at the same time so I would get the feeling that I was the most dominant poster on the board. I have no idea why I have this thought that if I post more than others, then I feel accomplished and better. I'm honestly just a pathetic individual who has done nothing in his life and seeks out escape on the internet in any way possible. I'm stopping myself though. I'm going to leave the board and attempt to fix my life and become a real man and come back here and earn respect back.

​

But to be honest, I said that multiple times on ESPN, then I used my alts to continue to post. The UGA fans caught me and called me out on my bullshit. I ended up just getting back on my main account and continued to embarrass myself any way I could possibly think of. I know I need help, but I have refused to get it. I live a pretty sad life, and it's time I do something about it. I'm just glad I can be honest with myself and attempt to pull myself up out of the dark.

​

I know this just came out of nowhere, and you guys are probably going to have a hay day with this. This will probably go down as one of the biggest "meltdowns" of 2016, but I see it as a turning point in my life where I'm deciding that it's time that I stop hiding from the truth and begin to forge my way to a real life that I can be proud of, and actually be a respectable person. This starts in therapy, which I'm going to start. I'm going to get cleaned up from all my problems and live my life freely.

​

With this said, I'd like to thank all of you for being who you are. This board is an amazing place to be where we all come together to discuss sports and just about anything from there. You guys are my friends, and I'm going to miss you all. I have to be a better man and friend to you all, so I have to do this. I'm not sure when I'll post again. I might still be on for a while to see what you guys have to say, but I'm going to get the help I need and deserve. And you guys don't deserve to be posting with a lying sack of shit. So...

​

TL;DR: I've been lying this entire time and I'm just a kid with no life who still lives at home with his dad pretty much.

​

 

[Gooch1034]

 

[Jakology]

Did he die?

 

[Gooch1034]

I guess I will confess too......I really am a Gooch. Arent we all? All you have to do is look at yourself in the mirror and search deep down inside.................your pants and locate the area between your butthole and balls/vag.

 

[WizardHawk]

Wait, you mean there are people up here not lying and making shit up?
Who knew?

 

[Jakology]

This definitely went a lot better than I thought it would.

 

[Camfantasy]

This definitely went a lot better than I thought it would.

your problem is that you are a fucking Virginia fan you ghey bech

 

[Jakology]

your problem is that you are a fucking Virginia fan you ghey bech

Georgia Tech and Virginia. Get it right.

 

[Camfantasy]

Georgia Tech and Virginia. Get it right.

so the ghey and the gheyer

 

[Jakology]

so the ghey and the gheyer

Aren't we supposed to be ghey for each other though and root for the entire conference like tSEC?

 

[Camfantasy]

Aren't we supposed to be ghey for each other though and root for the entire conference like tSEC?

no

you are supposed to root for teams that do not glamorize having sex with men's anuses

 

[Uhsplit]

There are only 2 kinds of liars. Guys that said they never jacked off and the ones that say they quit after they got married.

 

[broncosmitty]

I guess I will confess too......I really am a Gooch. Arent we all? All you have to do is look at yourself in the mirror and search deep down inside.................your pants and locate the area between your butthole and balls/vag.

Growing up, what you call the Gooch, we called the chode. Also referred to as the taint.

No big deal, chode references were made. Often pertaining to dingleberries en sech.

Then I went off to college. And one day I slipped on a floor that had just been mopped. Straining my Gooch/chode/taint. It hurt somethin fierce. And I complained to my friends about all my horrible chode pain. They looked astounded. As if they didn't have a chode, had never met anyone with a chode and we're shocked I was so open about mine.

Then they started making fun of me.


So I buttfucked all their girlfriends with my two inch long, six in wide pecker. Which really hurt my strained chode, but I didn't care.

 

[DoobeeDoobeeDoo]

So does anyone here enjoy watching gladiator movies?

 

[TheDayMan]

Growing up, what you call the Gooch, we called the chode. Also referred to as the taint.

No big deal, chode references were made. Often pertaining to dingleberries en sech.

Then I went off to college. And one day I slipped on a floor that had just been mopped. Straining my Gooch/chode/taint. It hurt somethin fierce. And I complained to my friends about all my horrible chode pain. They looked astounded. As if they didn't have a chode, had never met anyone with a chode and we're shocked I was so open about mine.

Then they started making fun of me.


So I buttfucked all their girlfriends with my two inch long, six in wide pecker. Which really hurt my strained chode, but I didn't care.

all three appropriately describe the spot between the junk and the butt hole...