Best pick-up lines that you have used?

[blazer prophet]

You know how I feel about you – it’s like you’re a fossil sample and I’m an impatient paleontologist, because I want to date you badly.

 

[Used 2 B Hu]

psst, everyone knows youre a bottom......

That is str8 horseshit

 

[JuiceTheGator]

You know how I feel about you – it’s like you’re a fossil sample and I’m an impatient paleontologist, because I want to date you badly.

 

[blazer prophet]

Sorry, I have an education (that means I went to school). I hope I didn't offend you.

 

[4down20]

Had more lines used on me than used honestly. I can't remember ever using a line directly, probably the closest to that was a pair of girls were in a car, 1 of them I had fucked before and the other I hadn't. I walked up to the car, kissed the girl I had fucked before, looked at the other one and asked - "When are we gonna fuck", then I walked off.

The girl I had fucked before showed up at my door a few hours later and I ended up with the other girl about 2 weeks later(and dated her for nearly 2 years).

Confidence is the golden ticket boys.

 

[4down20]

The weirdest pickup attempt I ever had used on me -

I had a friend who was a girl. Well she was at work and I went to her apartment to wait for her to get off. We were just friends and nothing more.

As I walked into her apartment I discovered she had a friend staying with her. She was on the couch and I said hi, introduced myself and told her why I was there. No joke she holds her hand out with a remote control in it and asks "Does this remote smell like pussy". I was like wtf and I just kind of looked at her stunned. Then she says "Because it's been in mine".

I was like ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm and just left.

She tried a few other times but she never got any.

The oddest that ever did work - I went to a party and a girl sat down next to me, grabbed my junk and started kissing me. Took me to the back bedroom. I also later that night discovered my ride was gay, as they asked to suck my dick later that night and used the line "A guy I was in the army with let him" - did not work and was awkward as fuck since he had to drive me back to the barracks. Probably saved him an ass whipping since I had no clue where I was.

 

[JuiceTheGator]

Sorry, I have an education (that means I went to school). I hope I didn't offend you.

lmao. No, you do not.

 

[trojanfan12]

I don't think you surf....

Pretty sure you have a penis....

Do those actually work for you?

 

[Used 2 B Hu]

Bwahhhhahahaha!!! That cat has a butler named "Jenkins!"

 

[RTRdian]

Brush his cheek then say "oh excuse me I'm just wiping off my seat"

 

[Used 2 B Hu]

Brush his cheek then say "oh excuse me I'm just wiping off my seat"

But he'll suffocate!

 

[tabascojet]

Brush his cheek then say "oh excuse me I'm just wiping off my seat"

does it smell like remote.....

 

[4down20]

Do those actually work for you?

 

[wingsauce7]

Wait until last call before rolling with "You're fat and and you're ugly. Do you wanna fuck?

You either get slapped or laid.

 

[TheDayMan]

The weirdest pickup attempt I ever had used on me -

I had a friend who was a girl. Well she was at work and I went to her apartment to wait for her to get off. We were just friends and nothing more.

As I walked into her apartment I discovered she had a friend staying with her. She was on the couch and I said hi, introduced myself and told her why I was there. No joke she holds her hand out with a remote control in it and asks "Does this remote smell like pussy". I was like wtf and I just kind of looked at her stunned. Then she says "Because it's been in mine".

Pretty sure you misread the situation. Why would she want to bang if she just had her way with a remote? She was probably asking for real, like she was worried your friend would be able to smell the crotch on it and get pissed she was diddling her electronics.

 

[4down20]

Pretty sure you misread the situation. Why would she want to bang if she just had her way with a remote? She was probably asking for real, like she was worried your friend would be able to smell the crotch on it and get pissed she was diddling her electronics.

I totally snitched on her then.

 

[Gopherfan84]

Not something I used, but the most memorable one I've heard. It was during a football players and cheerleaders skit during our homecoming assembly my freshman year of high school, and the school sent out an apology note afterwards.

"How would your like your eggs? Poached, fried, or fertilized?"

 

[Bmurph]

Whole lot of BS in this thread, nice work guys

 

[theSabanator20]

Let me get you an umbrella hun, you're all wet

 

[theSabanator20]

Nick Saban saw me naked once. He approved.