Why we should be kinder and less hateful to Heat Fans

[Am I Blue Through it All?]

A friend of mine shared the preliminary results of a four year study of Miami Heat fans. Most of the details are extremely disturbing:

1. 83.7 percent of all Heat fans have less than a GED or its equivalent. Some of the other findings below probably explain this.

2. And alarming 91.7 percent have multiple STDs. This is shocking when you realize the average Heat fan looks like he/she has never had sex while another person is in the room.

3. Heat fans actually reproduce. 27.4 percent are the result of sexual congress between siblings.

4. 47.9 percent suffered serious abuse as a child and 54.8 percent are currently doing so to their own offspring.

5. 81.3 percent admit to have conflicting feelings about sexual orientation.

6. 94.9 percent have problems with personal hygiene and are unaware of some of the most basic care and cleanliness of their bodies, hair and teeth.

7. 29.2 percent suffer from incontinence and/or anal leakage.

8. 54 percent believe they see dead people.

9. 86.8 percent view working at McDonalds as their dream job.

In view of all these deficiencies (some are still being researched) please show some sympathy the next time you have the bad luck to run into a Heat fan. After all, this may be the saddest group of people on the planet. Don't hit them with your car or van. Speak kindly lest you push them over the edge and make them eat a bullet. Do not give them bullets. Remember that most of them are short (in more ways than one) due to dietary deficiencies and bad genes.

Be kind.

 

[RobToxin]

Nope, this obviously isn't something that will head to Fouled Out before morning.....

 

[Am I Blue Through it All?]

Nope, this obviously isn't something that will head to Fouled Out before morning.....

Well, we have company starting to arrive, so I will check later. Do you suppose I would be in more trouble if had posted the most egregious findings?

 

[TurnUpTheHeat]

Indy is even a shittier place to live then Cleveland.

Probably the only city in the league where you could find ECF tickets on stub hub for less than $20.00

The couple of you here who represent your fan base are a total joke.

By next year your team will already be in steady decline in the East, and fortunately you then can go back into hibernation like you were for most of the last 1/3 of the season.

 

[Am I Blue Through it All?]

Indy is even a shittier place to live then Cleveland.

Probably the only city in the league where you could find ECF tickets on stub hub for less than $20.00

The couple of you here who represent your fan base are a total joke.

By next year your team will already be in steady decline in the East, and fortunately you then can go back into hibernation like you were for most of the last 1/3 of the season.

Actually, many parts of Indy and its hub have been voted some of the best places in America to live. Since you are a Heat fan, I can understand why you have not been able to read this. All that stuff with your sister keeps you pretty occupied.

And it is the Heat that will begin to decline. Shit, your team is older than a lot of social security recipients.

 

[hockey878]

A friend of mine shared the preliminary results of a four year study of Miami Heat fans. Most of the details are extremely disturbing:

1. 83.7 percent of all Heat fans have less than a GED or its equivalent. Some of the other findings below probably explain this.

2. And alarming 91.7 percent have multiple STDs. This is shocking when you realize the average Heat fan looks like he/she has never had sex while another person is in the room.

3. Heat fans actually reproduce. 27.4 percent are the result of sexual congress between siblings.

4. 47.9 percent suffered serious abuse as a child and 54.8 percent are currently doing so to their own offspring.

5. 81.3 percent admit to have conflicting feelings about sexual orientation.

6. 94.9 percent have problems with personal hygiene and are unaware of some of the most basic care and cleanliness of their bodies, hair and teeth.

7. 29.2 percent suffer from incontinence and/or anal leakage.

8. 54 percent believe they see dead people.

9. 86.8 percent view working at McDonalds as their dream job.

In view of all these deficiencies (some are still being researched) please show some sympathy the next time you have the bad luck to run into a Heat fan. After all, this may be the saddest group of people on the planet. Don't hit them with your car or van. Speak kindly lest you push them over the edge and make them eat a bullet. Do not give them bullets. Remember that most of them are short (in more ways than one) due to dietary deficiencies and bad genes.

Be kind.

lol you are really losing your mind huh?

 

[Malibu]

As much as I like to bash Heat fans considering the decline of Heat fans will be here soon and we all know why but this thread really shows that you are one messed up SOB. Please get help for your own sake and your families if you have one. Have a great day!! God Bless

 

[LeBronMonsterDunk]

LeBron and Co. have absolutely ruined this poor hick.


I feel sorry for him really.

 

[trojanfan12]

~

A friend of mine shared the preliminary results of a four year study of Miami Heat fans. Most of the details are extremely disturbing:

1. 83.7 percent of all Heat fans have less than a GED or its equivalent. Some of the other findings below probably explain this.

2. And alarming 91.7 percent have multiple STDs. This is shocking when you realize the average Heat fan looks like he/she has never had sex while another person is in the room.

3. Heat fans actually reproduce. 27.4 percent are the result of sexual congress between siblings.

4. 47.9 percent suffered serious abuse as a child and 54.8 percent are currently doing so to their own offspring.

5. 81.3 percent admit to have conflicting feelings about sexual orientation.

6. 94.9 percent have problems with personal hygiene and are unaware of some of the most basic care and cleanliness of their bodies, hair and teeth.

7. 29.2 percent suffer from incontinence and/or anal leakage.

8. 54 percent believe they see dead people.

9. 86.8 percent view working at McDonalds as their dream job.

In view of all these deficiencies (some are still being researched) please show some sympathy the next time you have the bad luck to run into a Heat fan. After all, this may be the saddest group of people on the planet. Don't hit them with your car or van. Speak kindly lest you push them over the edge and make them eat a bullet. Do not give them bullets. Remember that most of them are short (in more ways than one) due to dietary deficiencies and bad genes.

Be kind.

While I do find this to be very creative and funny (not to mention, probably accurate), it definitely has to go to Fouled Out!!

 

[Black Adam]

While I do find this to be very creative and funny (not to mention, probably accurate), it definitely has to go to Fouled Out!!

still, on a scale of 1-10...



THAT'S what funny looks like, Turnip...

 

[Black Adam]

A friend of mine shared the preliminary results of a four year study of Miami Heat fans. Most of the details are extremely disturbing:

1. 83.7 percent of all Heat fans have less than a GED or its equivalent. Some of the other findings below probably explain this.

2. And alarming 91.7 percent have multiple STDs. This is shocking when you realize the average Heat fan looks like he/she has never had sex while another person is in the room.

3. Heat fans actually reproduce. 27.4 percent are the result of sexual congress between siblings.

4. 47.9 percent suffered serious abuse as a child and 54.8 percent are currently doing so to their own offspring.

5. 81.3 percent admit to have conflicting feelings about sexual orientation.

6. 94.9 percent have problems with personal hygiene and are unaware of some of the most basic care and cleanliness of their bodies, hair and teeth.

7. 29.2 percent suffer from incontinence and/or anal leakage.

8. 54 percent believe they see dead people.

9. 86.8 percent view working at McDonalds as their dream job.

In view of all these deficiencies (some are still being researched) please show some sympathy the next time you have the bad luck to run into a Heat fan. After all, this may be the saddest group of people on the planet. Don't hit them with your car or van. Speak kindly lest you push them over the edge and make them eat a bullet. Do not give them bullets. Remember that most of them are short (in more ways than one) due to dietary deficiencies and bad genes.

Be kind.

worst part is the slob sell-outs that pop up...ESPECIALLY here in Los Angeles. one had the nerve to wear that putrid Heat gear to my office...

bandwagoners are the WORST kind...

 

[Am I Blue Through it All?]

While I do find this to be very creative and funny (not to mention, probably accurate), it definitely has to go to Fouled Out!!

My plan all along. I was afraid to tell the real story, lest I be banned.

I do have to admit, they have a lot of good looking hookers in the Heat crowd. No doubt reserved for out of towners.

 

[Am I Blue Through it All?]

lol you are really losing your mind huh?

Nah. I don't play for the Pacers and none of you numb nuts play for the Heat. But the shit you talk, you would think you were in the game, and not at the YWCA watching on their 32" screen.

 

[OutlawImmortal]

Actually, many parts of Indy and its hub have been voted some of the best places in America to live. Since you are a Heat fan, I can understand why you have not been able to read this. All that stuff with your sister keeps you pretty occupied.

And it is the Heat that will begin to decline. Shit, your team is older than a lot of social security recipients.

 

[Malibu]

worst part is the slob sell-outs that pop up...ESPECIALLY here in Los Angeles. one had the nerve to wear that putrid Heat gear to my office...

bandwagoners are the WORST kind...

 

[Heatles84]

The OP is a racist. Clear and simply. Just sad that he reacts this way since his team thought they had Miami beat when they secured the number one seed.

 

[Triplexxx23]

Hahahahaha 3-1 bitch !! One more and we back to the finals... Lebron is already recruiting Paul Geroge..... Hey..... Maybe next year

 

[RobToxin]

Nope, this obviously isn't something that will head to Fouled Out before morning.....

Nostradamus I am....

 

[hockey878]

Nah. I don't play for the Pacers and none of you numb nuts play for the Heat. But the shit you talk, you would think you were in the game, and not at the YWCA watching on their 32" screen.

I don't think Ive been talking shit, just responding to your utter bullshit.

who started this thread again?

 

[Heatles84]

Nah. I don't play for the Pacers and none of you numb nuts play for the Heat. But the shit you talk, you would think you were in the game, and not at the YWCA watching on their 32" screen.

Bitch, you and LoneGranger were talking out the side of your necks the whole damn season pointing out how you were going to dethrone the Heat since you got the number one seed. You and your weak ass side kick can get out of here with that noise.