THE OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL STEELERS BS THREAD..PART3

[WestEndVol]

Later Steelersrie & GG.

 

[NorthCoastSteelersFan]

Rie, I got the phony Microsoft warning on my last computer. Looked absolutely real. What tipped me off was that it wanted me to BUY malware protection, and blocked me from getting to the internet long enough to load a free package. So I called Microsoft and got step-by-step instructions, to disable it long enough to load a free software package that would kill it.

THIS computer has "ca" security, but the settings must not have been at maximum when I got it. Anyway, the new malware didn't claim to be from Microsoft. It's title was "Security Protection," and it had a little four-color shield at the top. It even pretended to be running a scan. It is EXTREMELY invasive, and you'll probably need help to clean it out. Using "system restore" to reset your computer to an earlier date will not work. If it appears, DO NOT follow its instructions...it will probably steal your identity, run up your credit cards and empty your bank accounts.

 

[WestEndVol]

I've had that before. It runs a fake scan, then tries to tell you that you have all thes viruses and stuff. Don't trust it and what ever you do, never give it your credit card number. My brother actually clicked on it one time. I hope he learned a lesson.

 

[whyoh]

Rie, I got the phony Microsoft warning on my last computer. Looked absolutely real. What tipped me off was that it wanted me to BUY malware protection, and blocked me from getting to the internet long enough to load a free package. So I called Microsoft and got step-by-step instructions, to disable it long enough to load a free software package that would kill it.

THIS computer has "ca" security, but the settings must not have been at maximum when I got it. Anyway, the new malware didn't claim to be from Microsoft. It's title was "Security Protection," and it had a little four-color shield at the top. It even pretended to be running a scan. It is EXTREMELY invasive, and you'll probably need help to clean it out. Using "system restore" to reset your computer to an earlier date will not work. If it appears, DO NOT follow its instructions...it will probably steal your identity, run up your credit cards and empty your bank accounts.

seriously, when it comes time to renew that and they want you to pay...DON'T...just get avg, its way more stable than most others, it finds EVERYTHING, it doesn't hog your system resources, and...oh yeah...its fucking free

 

[whyoh]

I've had that before. It runs a fake scan, then tries to tell you that you have all thes viruses and stuff. Don't trust it and what ever you do, never give it your credit card number. My brother actually clicked on it one time. I hope he learned a lesson.

my mom clicked on it once when she was in her hospital room down in denver...then she called me up and asked if it was a good idea

 

[whyoh]

i may have sent this one to the old e-mail group
but if not...here it is


enjoy your friday


EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS
1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .'
My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - -
and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald ,
San Francisco

2... At the beginning of my shift
I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,'. . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,'. . ..replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad
news when I told a wife that her husband had
died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient's two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
one of his medications..
' Which one ?'. .. . I asked. 'The patch...
The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm
running out of places to put it !'
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped
I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions include removal of
the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair ,
Norfolk , VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .
' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR

6. I was performing rounds at the
hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your
breakfast this morning?' “It's very good
except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem
to get used to the taste,” Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit , MI

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered . .. . It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a
tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by RN no name,

AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. . .

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly
burst out laughing
and further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. . .
' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard . .. .
' No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . ..
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener .' '
Dr. wouldn't submit his name....

ONE MORE

Baby's First Doctor Visit
This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the
doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and
being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or
bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied..
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered..
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both
breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby
is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,
But I'm glad I came.

 

[Steelersrie]

Rie, I got the phony Microsoft warning on my last computer. Looked absolutely real. What tipped me off was that it wanted me to BUY malware protection, and blocked me from getting to the internet long enough to load a free package. So I called Microsoft and got step-by-step instructions, to disable it long enough to load a free software package that would kill it.

THIS computer has "ca" security, but the settings must not have been at maximum when I got it. Anyway, the new malware didn't claim to be from Microsoft. It's title was "Security Protection," and it had a little four-color shield at the top. It even pretended to be running a scan. It is EXTREMELY invasive, and you'll probably need help to clean it out. Using "system restore" to reset your computer to an earlier date will not work. If it appears, DO NOT follow its instructions...it will probably steal your identity, run up your credit cards and empty your bank accounts.

I know the one of which you speak.... It's the one that got me and Norton charged me $100 (twice) to dial in to my computer to get it out... the second time they went in, they deleted something they shouldn't have, killed my computer... oh, but they DID give me 15 months free anti-virus protection for my next computer.... I only trust my guru with my computer now. He's locked down the security real tight, and I can text him anytime I have a problem... plus, he's only 20 miles from my house which means I don't have to talk to anyone from Abu Dahbi to get my puter fixed.

 

[Steelersrie]

Later Steelersrie & GG.

I got 1 spreadsheet printed.... I just DON'T feel like working today....

 

[MISKO]

its a bitch to get rid of too wyo

 

[Steelersrie]

my mom clicked on it once when she was in her hospital room down in denver...then she called me up and asked if it was a good idea

my mom called me up and told me her computer was hi-jacked. I asked, "WHAT?" She said it again, hi-jacked... evidently the Dell peeps tolds her that was what it was called... the virus or malware that got her completely wiped her out.

 

[MISKO]

that sucks rie .. geek squad time

 

[NorthCoastSteelersFan]

Here's an idea. Any person convicted of creating malware should be imprisoned for twenty years...no pardon, probation or early release of any kind.

ANNNND...these individuals, regardless of non-violent or first-offender status, should be placed in MAXIMUM security facilities, and "matched" with very large, hygenically-challenged cellmates named Bubba or Jamal.

Whatta ya think? Should I run for office, and make this a plank in my platform?

 

[whyoh]

Here's an idea. Any person convicted of creating malware should be imprisoned for twenty years...no pardon, probation or early release of any kind.

ANNNND...these individuals, regardless of non-violent or first-offender status, should be placed in MAXIMUM security facilities, and "matched" with very large, genitally-gifted cellmates named Bubba or Jamal.

Whatta ya think? Should I run for office, and make this a plank in my platform?

fify

 

[NorthCoastSteelersFan]

Here's an idea. Any person convicted of creating malware should be imprisoned for twenty years...no pardon, probation or early release of any kind.

ANNNND...these individuals, regardless of non-violent or first-offender status, should be placed in MAXIMUM security facilities, and "matched" with very large, hygenically-challenged, genitally over-endowed cellmates named Bubba or Jamal.

Whatta ya think? Should I run for office, and make this a plank in my platform?

There.

 

[whyoh]

good form, sir

 

[NorthCoastSteelersFan]

Thanx. Your idea was a good one. Bad hygiene AND big meat are what these hackers deserve in a roomie.

 

[NorthCoastSteelersFan]

Back in a couple.

 

[WestEndVol]

I downloaded a thing called malware bits. It's free and it scans you computer for any malware. A quick scan takes about 5 minutes but it's worth it. I did a scan on mine and thankfully nothing came up infected.

I ment malwarebytes.

http://www.malwarebytes.org/

 

[GetRiot]

Hey guys just a drive-by, I had to chime in and say WOO!!! about our steelers beatin those eags to death yesterday lol, that was a blowout even for preseason standards!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

 

[MISKO]

i use malware bites ... good stuff meanard