The Niners and NFL Thread

[Sackataters]

Kap gets nocked out of the game in the 3rd. Smith leads them to victory. That's my prediction.

 

[Sackataters]

Kaep is playing like crap and the Niners D is weak thus far.

 

[MHSL82]

I told my friend that I would never root for injury, so Kaep should have decided to play baseball at halftime and Smith come in and win - I don't care how. Pick returns, punt returns, running TDs, or passing TDs. Or Kaep could just win it. I wanted a nice sendoff win for Alex, but oh well.

 

[MHSL82]

 

[nuraman00]

Do her pants need that triangle right below her waist?

 

[nuraman00]

My first time paying attention to Flacco. (For some reason I didn't pay much attention two weeks ago). He's good.

I didn't think this was an ugly game, but I also don't watch much football.

Moss didn't seem to do much.

Both teams seemed pretty good offensively, overall. Minus the interceptions and fumbles. What I mean is when they tried to make a play, they usually gone one.

 

[Sackataters]

That game was brutal until the lights went off. After that, it was entertaining. No sour grapes, past interference or no, the Niners had 4 tries from 7 yards out and could not convert. Credit the Baltimore D.

 

[MHSL82]

ESPN's message board used to have this thing going where when everyone was blaming Alex for everything people started adding to it ridiculous things. It started out when Dilfer came in for an injured Smith, and people started blaming Smith for Dilfer's bad throws and receiver's drops.

Attribution would make this thing longer, so I won't credit anyone, but these are not mine. Feel free to add your style.

Here's how it started:

What the hell Dilfer! I blame it on Alex Smith.
Another drop by Jackson That was Alex Smith's fault.
Alex Smith with another interception, his not playing is simply no excuse. That pick goes on him.
Of course. Excuses are for whimps. Alex Smith made the bad decision there obviously.
Frank Gore 8 rushes for 12 yards. Must be Alex Smith's fault.
Duh! Alex Smith needs to open up bigger holes for Frank Gore.
Alex Smith called that draw play, not Hostler. Alex Smith's gameplan is horrible, btw.
Just come out and say it, Alex Smith is responsible for high gas prices.
And global warming.
Yep. And the Middle East crisis. The cyclone that hit Bangladesh is probably his fault too

 

[MHSL82]

Alex Smith killed Abraham Lincoln and JFK.
Really? I didn't think he was that accurate.

This stew just isn't sitting right. **** Alex Smith.

Alex Smith was responsible for the challenger explosion.

I also heard he had a hand in the sinking of the titanic
Don't forget it was a small hand
If he had average sized hands he would have been able to plug the leak.

Alex Smith = Lax Me Sh@it

Alex Smith has unpaid parking tickets.

I just got a call from Jesus, Alex Smith is the antichrist.
Gotta call you out on that one. Derek Anderson was boarding a flight, he couldn't have made that call.
Alex Smith steals candy from babies and punches kittens.
Really? I heard he stole candy from kittens and punched babies. I guess the original reports were wrong. I'm glad I didn't post that and start a nasty, untrue rumor.

Wow another sack, too bad Alex Smith sucks so much
I take that back it wasnt actually a sack, if you slow down the film you see Smith shoot lasers from his eyes on the sideline to knock Bulger down.

Alex Smith is the real father of Britney Spears' kids.

Bill Walsh is currently designing a new and greater West Coast in Heaven offense that is totally based on punting so when Alex gets there he has an excuse and doesn't have to use Alex. God has his fingers crossed Andy Lee is dead before Alex.

"Was it Smith who killed Jesus?"
No, but Judas is related to Alex Smith.

Alex Smith ruined Joe Montana's elbow, and gave Steve Young his last concussion.

It was Alex Smith that stopped the mountain from going to Muhammad, and he started the party at the base of Mount Sinai.

Alex Smith drained the levy

Contrary to popular belief, Alex Smith did not cause the Exxon Valdez oil spill. But he has drowned several baby seals in motor oil.

Alex Smith gave Benoit his steriods.

Alex Smith was the kicking Tee fetcher @ the 98 NFC champ game and he had trouble picking it up so he jumped on it to hide it in the ground. That's why Steve Young tripped on the pass to Owens.

Alex Smith keeps changing the format of these boards.

BY must be immune to Alex Smith's enchantment

Alex Smith shot Tupac.

Marc Ecko has announced he will be putting Alex Smith's sig on the HR ball not an *

Smith framed Scott Peterson.

Alex Smith through a football through the twin towers that went so fast it traveled back in time and blew up pearl harbor

Alex Smith is Superman, and he is supposed to help the Niners, but Aaron Rodgers keeps spiking Smith's water bottle with red kryptonite.

Alex Smith killed the dinosaurs.

Alex Smith accidently yawned and sucked the ball out of bounds, to make up for helping the 49ers he will make Dilfer throw another INT

Ever wonder what the D initial stands for as his middle name? Hitler.

The Alex Smith that was the QB at Utah is now the TE in TB. The guy playing QB for us was the TE at Stanford. They talked at the combine and decided to play a nasty practical joke on the NFL.

It was actually Smith who went down on Bill Clinton.

Great Irish Potato Famine? They had nothing to carry them in. Alex had all the sacks.

Alex Smith tore Lawson's ACL with his bare(ly big enough) hands.

"Owen's with TD number 4, **** wish we still had him."
Take it up with Smith. He's the one who traded him.

Alex Smith lasered Staley in the balls.

Alex Smith let the dogs out

Alex Smith leaves VD in to block too often

"Alex Smith gave Vick his first puppy"

I can't connect Alex directly to the stealing of Christmas but he was behind the Grinch's plot. I can prove it for Hanukkah, Alex being a Anti-Semite and what not.

Alex Smith called the audible on that route JFK took Nov. 22nd 1963.

Alex Smith created AIDS, and brought crack to the ghetto.

Alex Smith is supplying al Qaida with its weapons.

Alex Smith is the Kool-Aid Man:

Alex Smith farts anthrax.

Alex Smith was in charge of counting the votes in Florida in 2000.

Alex Smith brought the Avian Flu to North America.

Alex Smith gave Turner his skin-care products.

Alex Smith is the reason we invaded Iraq

Alex Smith kidnapped the Lindberg baby.

Alex Smith bult the grassy knoll and the book depository in Dealey Plaza, Dallas.

Alex Smith is the reason Dog the bounty hunter said N*gg*r!

Alex Smith bought Lincoln tickets to the theater.

Alex Smith started the plague in medieval Europe.

Alex Smith was the political advisor to the Stuart dynasty in England.

Alex Smith created S.I.D.S. to stop future Alex Smith's.

Every time Alex Smith throws a pass a puppy dies

Alex Smith was Christopher Colombus' navigator.

Alex Smith is Latin for Raiders.

Alex Smith told the Indians to stop fighting for their land

Alex Smith edited Mein Kampf.

Alex Smith is to football as peace is to Iraq

Alex Smith set up the Vichy government.

Alex Smith gave birth to Paris Hilton.

Alex Smith bought Britney Spears her first martini.
Alex Smith shaved Britney Spears' head.

Alex Smith traded Randy Moss to the Patriots.

Alex Smith is the CEO of Blackwater.

Alex Smith was behind the Oklahoma city bombing.

Alex Smith taught Stalin philosophy.

Alex Smith broke Garrison Hearst's ankle.

Alex Smith financed Vick's house in Atlanta.

Alex Smith was Kenneth Starr's idol.

Alex Smith thinks Robin Williams is funny.

Alex Smith convinced Hostler to pick up a football.

Alex Smith designed Windows Vista.

Alex Smith owned 80% of Googles stock but sold it for 10 bucks cause he thought it was a bad idea

Alex Smith is Lindsay Lohan's drug dealer.

In the offseason, Alex Smith works as a customer service supervisor at the DMV.

Alex Smith cheated in the Sharks FFL.

Alex Smith proposed the Stamp Act.

Alex Smith introduced OJ to Nicole

Alex Smith is Rosie O'Donnell's cook.

Alex Smith tells Mike Nolan what to say at press conferences.

Alex Smith's favorite car is a Pinto

Alex Smith was Greg Brady's trainer in celebrity boxing.

Alex Smith served the Kool Aide to the Heavens gate.

Alex Smith started SARS.

Alex Smith made Aqua Dots

Alex Smith met Dustin Diamond at a party once.

Alex Smith was made in China and his red jersey has too much lead.

Alex Smith invented communism.

Alex Smith designed the Yugo

Alex Smith uses AOL dial up

Alex Smith is a Nigerian diplomat.

Alex Smith created American Idol

Alex Smith invented asbestos

Alex Smith made pills that will gain you 3 inchs.

Alex Smith uses Cialis and has 4 hour erections and anal dischage

Alex Smith directed Godfather III

Alex Smith founded the RIAA

Alex Smith greenlit Gigli.
Alex Smith paid to see Gigli.
And bought the DVD
And watched the deleted scenes. I.E. the scenes not good enough to make the final cut of Gigli.
And the director commentary
Alex Smith made his own commentary.

Alex Smith started the souther California fires.

Alex Smith says the moon is fake.

Alex Smith still thinks the earth is flat.

Alex Smith taught Kwame how to hold

Alex Smith supported Beta Max

Alex Smith created New Kids On The Block and The Backstreet Boys

Alex Smith is EMO

Alex Smith was the operator of the Chernobyl power plant.

Alex Smith invented New Coke. Sort of. He just slapped the labels on Pepsi cans.

Alex Smith screwed Bret Hart at Survivor Series in 1996.

Alex Smith thinks Jim Hostler is a superstar coordinator.

Alex Smith is the real Ron Mexico

Alex Smith voted for Ross Perot

Alex Smith built the bridge in minneapolis

Alex Smith crashed the oil tanker into the Bay Bridge.

Alex Smith is Steve Bartman
AND Jeffrey Maier

Alex Smith is Michael Jackson's PR director

Alex Smith is Scott Norwoods kicking coach. Wide right.

Alex Smith was the bouncing burglar. He was just wearing some face paint, I swear.

Alex Smith would kick the FG when down by 7 with 2 min left.

Alex Smith told the Chargers to draft Ryan Leaf.

Alex Smith thinks the end zone is a mythical place.

Alex Smith cancelled Family Guy.
Alex Smith brought it back.

Alex Smith killed kenny

Alex Smith thinks TD's are for sissy's and real men throw INT's

In 1996, Alex Smith drafted Todd Fuller instead of Kobe Bryant.

Alex Smith directed Eye of the Beholder.

Alex Smith voted for the Patriot Act.

Alex Smith turned off the power at Jurassic Park

Alex Smith thinks a draw and 3rd and long is a great play.

Alex Smith thinks Hostler Is a grade A coach.

Alex Smith caused the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Alex Smith found the cure for cancer but won’t tell anyone because the drug companies are paying him off.

Alex Smith invented a combustion engine that runs on salt water too, but he is keeping to himself because he wants to see the planet destroyed.

Alex Smith turned the espn boards into myspace.

Alex Smith wrote the final scene of The Sopranos.
Alex Smith was the one who made it rain.
Alex Smith was the one who shot the bouncer.
Oh, and he was the one with the 50 guns in his house.

Alex Smith is Robert Hanssen.

Alex Smith is Chris Hanson.

Alex Smith is Chris Hanson's white whale.

Alex Smith missed the block that ended youngs career

Alex Smith stole OJ's memorabilia and blamed the juice.

You can't give Alex Smith credit for Lawrence Phillips handy work. Phillips is just as evil as Smith.

Alex Smith created the BCS and is preventing playoffs in college football

The glove fit Alex Smith
Must have been a small glove.

Alex Smith buys liquor for minors

Alex Smith fired Marty Shottenheimer.

Alex Smith implemented the message board censors

Alex Smith is Bowzer.

Alex Smith created BALCO

Alex Smith wrote the Seinfeld "spinoffs"

Alex Smith is a notorious ****ographer.

Alex Smith doesnt pull out and is in favor of abortions (by drop kicking girls in the gut)

Alex Smith made the airforce fly nuclear warheads rom North Dakota to Louisiana.

 

[MHSL82]

Alex Smith has kept the US off the metric system

Alex Smith nominated the English Patient.

Alex Smith was in the car when Lindsay Lohan gotta DUI.
Alex Smith got her drunk.

Alex Smith advised Michael Jackson that naming his kid Blanket was a good idea

Alex Smith murdered Tupac and Biggie... he's a diddy fan

Alex Smith lost to Appalachian State.

Alex Smith got me addicted to Halo 3

Alex Smith brought sexy back
Alex Smith took sexy away.

Alex Smith gave the game the butterfly tattoo on his face. When he finished he told game, "now that ****** is gangsta"

Alex Smith gave Jessica Alba acting lessons

Alex Smith didnt eat his vitamins or say his prayers.

Alex Smith wears socks with sandals.

Alex Smith is the boogeyman

Alex Smith brings alcohol to AA meetings

Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers are just parts of the evil that is Alex Smith

Alex Smith only takes 11 steps in a 12 step program

Alex Smith wears a fanny pack the right way, on the fanny!

Alex Smith likes dating fat chicks!

Alex Smith doesn’t thank God after a win.
He thanks Allah.

Alex Smith has love for "New York"
Alex Smith is New York's mom.

Alex Smith corrupted the LAPD

Alex Smith beat Rodney King

Alex Smith cheats at solitaire.

Alex Gave Ms Teen South Carolina the answer...

Alex Smith give out candy with razor blades at Halloween.

Alex Smith told Vanessa Williams to pose naked.

Alex Smith is Sasquatch.

Alex Smith is the reason white men can’t jump.

Alex Smith caused the1906 earthquake in San Francisco when he was sacked and seperated his shoulder.

Alex Smith enacted an all-out assault on Columbine High School cause he hated John Elway.

Alex Smith was the first test-tube baby, he was the left overs like Danny Divito and his twin Arnold is none other than Tom Brady.

Alex Smith is ET.

Alex Smith sold Chad Johnson his grill.

Alex Smith woofed down all the roast beef for breakfast.

Alex Smith is confused regarding the point of the thread.

Alex Smith gave Emmit Smith an analyst job

Alex Smith was sitting shotgun when Randy Moss ran over a meter maid

Alex Smith is a recruiter for Notre Dame.

Alex Smith taught Sean Salisbury everything he knows about broadcasting.

Alex Smith gave Leonard Little a drivers license.

Alex Smith gave Rae Carruth a gun.

Alex Smith created the XFL.

Alex Smith robbed the tooth fairy

Alex Smith drafted rashawn woods

Alex Smith supports Mike Nolan for Coach of the year campaign.

Alex Smith negotiated the Heschel Walker trade.

Alex Smith called shotgun and made Rosa Parks go to the back seat.

Alex Smith introduced Beyonce to Jay-Z.

Alex Smith fathered underdog/sangervas.

Alex Smith searched Plaxico Burress before going into the club.

Alex Smith gave Bernard Madoff his banking license.

Alex Smith hung the scoreboard in the new Cowboy Stadium.

Alex Smith told Crabtree that the 9ers would offer him top 5 money if he held out lo9ng enough

Alex Smith successfully convinced Scot McCloughan that a pass-rush is unnecessary in today's NFL.

Alex Smith filmed the new kanye west sex tape.

Alex Smith shot J.R.

Alex Smith Rigged the Pacquaio - Bradly fight.

Alex Smith prodiced the Geico Neanderthal TV show.

Alex Smith was wearing an invisibility cloak as he sat in Clint Eastwood's chair.

Alex Smith made the ill fated attempt to restore the fresco of Christ in Spain.

Alex Smith invented bath salts

Alex Smith acted as a body double so the real Bin Laden could escape seal team six. On December 21st 2012 the real Bin Laden will return to fly planet x into earth and kill us all.

 

[nuraman00]

tldr

 

[nuraman00]

Alex Smith directed Godfather III

I thought that was ok.

 

[nuraman00]

Alex Smith is EMO

Pappa Goose said Kirilenko was Emo Boy.

 

[MHSL82]

tldr

FINE! Don't read then!! I'm taking my ball and going home!!!

By the way, I didn't write these or compile them, someone else did and posted them. It's long because a lot of people contributed to it. It was more of an inside joke, as Smith was blamed so much (written in 2007). I wrote the introduction, of course.

 

[nuraman00]

FINE! Don't read then!! I'm taking my ball and going home!!!

By the way, I didn't write these or compile them, someone else did and posted them. It's long because a lot of people contributed to it. It was more of an inside joke, as Smith was blamed so much (written in 2007). I wrote the introduction, of course.

I know.

 

[MHSL82]

I know.

I'm an Alex Smith fan, so some might think I would compile these. These are in the variety of Chuck Norris jokes. Chuck Norris jokes are better, of course.

 

[nuraman00]

I'm an Alex Smith fan, so some might think I would compile these. These are in the variety of Chuck Norris jokes. Chuck Norris jokes are better, of course.

I've seen the same thing for "The Most Interesting Man". (The guy from those Dos Equis commercials).

 

[MHSL82]

I noticed today that Smith has played in 80 games in his career - an exact multiple of 16. So just for curiosity sake, not trying to make a point good or bad, I grouped each 16.

Now, some games are not complete, for example, his first game in 2005, he went 0-1. His last two games of 2012, he went 7-8 and 1-1 respectively. I still counted those as games. He's only started 75 out of the 80 games, playing one half in the Houston Texans game, one half against Carolina Panthers, and 1 snap against Seattle in 2007 when he got injured. But I counted all of those.

Again, not making any serious claims, thought I would show what my curiosity found rather than just deleting. The only thing I can see, and I would say this without this chart, is that he could have perhaps 3 years of 3000 yards and 20+ TDs if he played 16 games (the last year here had the Rams tie game and the Arizona 1-throw as 2 total games). That isn't great, of course. Durability is an issue and I know you can't combine years. But I read comments to articles as if he couldn't reach those numbers in a years worth of games (couldn't his first 2 years of games) until last year and even then, not the TDs. This was when he had 18 TDs in 11 games in 2009 and people would say, "he can't get even 20 TDs." I'd stick to not being able to beat out Shaun Hill in the off-season, that means more.

 

[MHSL82]

Kaep is no comparison, here are the numbers for the 7 starts and it extrapolated. It isn't close. The record would be 11.4 - 4.6 so I indicated "> 11-5" Didn't want to put "11-4-1" because I hate ties and one might think I was putting the Rams tie game on him.

 

[MHSL82]

My computer apparently is having problems with the bolding, I didn't mean to bold the data, but it's a bit Freudian as YPA is big. It isn't bold on Excel or Word.